Post# 287 - Bubba Keg Round Two: Bubba Keg Leaks - 7/15/2011

Back in 2008, I wrote a letter to Bubba Keg about my big leaky coffee mug, which has a design flaw that they fixed more recently.  I wasn't happy with their response, and may have stirred up a hornet's nest with somne Bubba Slappees by posting my letter on the Bubba Keg Facebook Fan Page.

I wondered if presenting the same problem 3 years later would net a different result.  Maybe the lady I dealt with jumped ship.  Maybe corporate policies have changed.  I used an alias and cut out all of the iditarod stuff (even though that really happened).

------------------------------

Dear Bubba Keg,

I have a 33 ounce mug that has a design flaw.  The gasket on the lid, over time, slips out of the groove.  The very act of screwing the cap onto the mug gradually unseats the gasket.

Eventually, if I forget to check the gasket, I get a coffee leak, and coffee on my shirt and pants.  This is annoying, and shouldn't be this way.

I see with the new mugs, you've totally redesigned this.  It's almost like you realized it was problematic, and did something about it.   Unfortunately, I'm stuck with the old one.  The one that leaks.

I'm very unhappy with my mug.  It's one more thing that as a father of 11 girls (still trying for a boy), I don't have time for.  I just wanted to let you know how dissatisfied I am with my Bubba Keg Mug.

Sincerely,

Stephan Mariendo
------------------------
Subject: Re: Leaky Mug
Date: Saturday, July 16, 2011, 1:28 AM

Stephan,

Thank you for contacting bubba brands.  We do not  have replacement parts available.  We would be happy to replace the entire bubba keg for you.  Please send the defective bubba to:

Bubba Brand Replacement Department
202 South 1st Street
Knoxville, PA 16928.

Please include a note explaining the problem.  Upon receipt of the bubba keg we will request a replacement be sent to you.

Thank you

-- 
InZone Brands
Gerry
Customer Service Department
http://us.mc1617.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=Info@In-Zone.com
-----------------------

From: Stephanie Marie <stephmarie1974@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Leaky Mug
To: Info@In-Zone.com
Date: Wednesday, July 20, 2011, 11:43 PM


Gerry,
Thanks for the info.  I'm trying to figure out how much it's going to cost me to package and ship a design-defective mug to your shop in Pennsylvania.  Won't the cost of packaging and shipping cost almost as much as a new mug?
Can I photograph the problem, or are you planning on running some tests on it?  Are you worried that it might not be damaged, and that I'm after a second 33 ounce mug?
I'd be willing to photograph the problem and email it to you, along with a video of me destroying the mug.  No funny business.
Please advise.  
Thanks Again for Responding!
Stephan

---------------------------------
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Post# 221 - Starbucks Coffee and Their Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Dear Starbucks,


As I entered one of your stores today, I smelled it.  Pumpkin Spice Lattes.  I looked at my calendar.  Halloween is 54 days away.


I believe strongly that every pumpkin deserves it's fair chance at being a Jack o' Lantern.  If the pumpkin isn't "ready" on October 31st, well that's fair.  But you took those pumpkins out of the running for Jack o' Lantern over seven weeks early.

I view "Pumpkin Spice" season as autumn.  Autumn and after Halloween.  Heck, you can run Pumpkin Spice season right up to the holidays--it works.  Especially with all of the pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin muffins and pumpkin ice cream.  I just think that a week ago, the kids were swimming in a pool, riding up to the ice cream shop, trying to outrun the long arm of school.  And meanwhile, those pumpkins were trying to outrun Starbucks.


This is how I feel.  I can't help it.


Sincerely,


Jerry
---------------------
 Subject: Re: other <<#383492-6779074#>>
Date: Saturday, September 10, 2011, 12:23 AM

Hello Jerry,

 

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company.

Thank you for your candid correspondence. Rest assured we take our customer's feedback seriously and are looking to improve your experience on a daily basis. I've forwarded your comments to our corporate office for review, and hopefully we can achieve a positive resolution to this situation. Thank you again for supporting Starbucks!

If you have any further questions or concerns that I was unable to address, please feel free to let me know. 

Warm Regards,

Brittney M

Customer Relations

Starbucks Coffee Company

---------------------

My response, sent 9/13/2011:

Brittany,

Thank you for your response.  It is quite obvious, by the tone--between the words, margins, and spaces--Starbucks takes their consumer feedback seriously.


It sounds like you're going to be heading up to the corporate office at some point to defend my letter, and I appreciate that.  How many more pumpkins need to be destroyed senselessly before the trees have even turned?  There isn't even a nip of autumn chill in the air, and pumpkins are having their seeds and goop senselessly and prematurely removed.  And for what?  Spicy coffee?

I appreciate you fighting my battle!

Sincerely,

Jerry
-----------------------
From: Starbucks Customer Care
Subject: Re: Fw: Re: other <<#383492-6779074#>>
Date: Wednesday, September 14, 2011, 7:46 PM
Hello Jerry,

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company and sharing your opinions about the pumpkins with us.

I sincerely appreciate your comments and hope you will continue to enjoy Starbucks coffee.   

Sincerely,  

 

Misty J

Customer Relations

Starbucks Coffee Company

---------------------------

Subject: Re: Fw: Re: other <<#383492-6779074#>>
Date: Wednesday, September 14, 2011, 9:44 PM

Dear Misty, Oh dear.  What happened to Brittany?  I sincerely hope she didn't get fired for fighting my pumpkin battle. Because if that's the case, I can't ask you to take up my cause.  Unless, that is, that is, you feel as I do about the pumpkins.  I guess what I'm saying is, judgment call.  Tread lightly. If you run into Brittany, thank her and apologize for me. Thank you, Jerry -----------------------

From: Starbucks Customer Care <info@starbucks.com>
Subject: Re: Fw: Re: other <<#383492-6779074#>>
Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 5:20 PM


Hello Jerry,
 
Thank you for taking your time to contact The Starbucks Coffee Company.

 I wanted to assure you that Brittany (and Misty) are both still employed with Starbucks. Starbucks treasures the opinions of our loyal customers and would in no way punish an associate for simply relaying any issues or concerns to our corporate office. You might want to put your ideas on http://mystarbucksidea.force.com/ideaList?ext=0&lsi=0&category=Food where you can get feedback and support from your peers. I'm sure you will have some people interested in your cause considering it has been a pleasure, however sensitive the subject, to hear someone as passionate in their beliefs as Starbucks is in our product and service.

Thank you for allowing me to assure you that we are a company designed to support you and that we would never punish a customer representative for doing their job by making your voice heard. If you have any further questions or concerns that I was unable to address, please feel free to let me know. 

Warm Regards,

Dina S

Customer Relations

Starbucks Coffee Company

--------------------------------------

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Post# 215 - The Miller Lite Vortex Colonic

I sent this to MillerCoors on 8/7/2011:

Dear Miller Brewing,

As the owner of a struggling coffee house, I hate seeing unused coffee go to waste.  I have attempted to add a colonic business.  Our motto is "Mac's Coffee and Colonics: Coffee In, Coffee Out."   We get significant drive-up business on Monday through Friday, 6 to 9 AM.  The colonic business is  hit and miss--lots of appointments from Halloween to New Years, and otherwise, an appointment here or there.

The thing with the colonics is, it just takes too long to attract drive-up.  The average session takes 29 minutes.  If, for a little additional discomfort, we could accelerate the process and make it 14 or less minutes, then, it becomes an impulse buy.  People can then order one up on the way to work.

This is where Miller comes in.

I've "fit" my colonic station with a prototype colonic apparatus.  The key element is the end from one of your "Vortex" bottles as the end-fitting.  You know, the "business end" of the machine.  The theory is: if beer flows out of your bottle faster, shouldn't the similar fluid dynamics apply for coffee?

Let's face it.  Studies show that one can ingest beer 37 percent faster with the Vortex.  My independent study shows as much as a 43 percent improvement.  I've tried this colonic apparatus out on a focus group--some expressed mild discomfort.  One subject labeled the larger end as, "intrusive."  Others really enjoyed it quite a bit.  Overall, I improved my throughput, bringing my average time down to 16 minutes.  With a few other process improvements, I believe I can get us to 14 minutes, allowing the business to "take off."

From a legal standpoint, would there be anything preventing me from using your Vortex bottle?  I'm sure a cursory check of emergency rooms around the country would show that these bottles have been placed "up there" many times in the past on fraternity dares, household projects gone awry, etc.  If there are legal loopholes, I'd be willing to go halvsies with you on this project.

In any case, things are on hold (but ready to go) until you get back to me.

Sincerely,

Jerry

------------------------------

Subject: Regarding Case #:20721323
Date: Tuesday, August 9, 2011, 11:14 AM

Thanks for contacting us.

Unfortunately, MillerCoors is not seeking any unsolicited business opportunities at this time.

We appreciate your interest in our company.

Cheers!

Sincerely, MillerCoors Consumer Affairs Department
Ref: Case#N20721323

-------------------------

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Post# 214 - Starbucks: The Cup Doesn't Exactly Runneth Over

Dear Starbucks,

On the way to work today, I stopped for my daily fix.  I was in a rush, so I went through the drive thru.  Normally, I like to go into the store—I enjoy the aromas, ambiance, Barristas, and the fellas with their sideburns, hemp ware, and laptops.

I ordered a venti skinny caramel macchiato.  I pulled around and plunked down my $4.40.  The women graciously handed me my beverage and we exchanged pleasantries.  As I pulled away, I sensed that it was “light.”  I’ve ordered several hundred of these, and I know how much they should weigh.  I pulled off the cap and noticed the cup was roughly two thirds full.  Yes, the delicious foam filled up some of the gap, but this venti was clearly a dodici.

About midway through my shift, my boss indicated that I was missing my normal pep, and that I was only operating at about 2/3rds effort.  He sent me home after 5 1/3 hours, so I was only paid for two thirds of my shift.

What gives with cutting corners on loyal customers?  Am I being penalized for only frequenting your store once per day?  Am I expected to bump it up to twice a day?

Is your operation error-proofed?  Are your people trained to fill it all the way?  Was I the victim of the Barrista whose mom never filled his cup more than two thirds full because he was a spiller?

I would appreciate a written explanation.  If you’d like a photograph, I took one.

This never happens at the gas station when I get my own. 

Sincerely,

Jerry

----------------------------------

From: info@starbucks.com
Subject: Re: the beverage I ordered at a store <<#211758-6468999#>>Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2011 10:11:03 -0500

Hello Jerry,

 

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company.

 

I am very sorry that your Venti Skinny Caramel Macchiato was only 2/3 full. That is not what we want to happen.

 

I want to assure you that I will be following up with the store and its management team in order to ensure that we are making these beverages correctly. Unfortunately, I am unclear at which store this happened.  If you could please respond to this email with further information about the store location (such as cross streets), this would help us greatly.  Please also feel free to take a look at our store locator at http://www.starbucks.com/retail/find/default.aspx for store information.

 

What I would like to do, is to invite you back to our stores to have a drink done right. I would be happy to mail you some beverage coupons so that your next drink will be on us.

 

Thanks again for giving us the opportunity to fix this situation. I assure you that we take feedback from our customers seriously and will use this as an opportunity to improve the experience for you.

 

If there are any questions or concerns that I have not been able to address, please don’t hesitate to call us at 800 23-LATTE (235-2883), we are here Monday through Friday from 5:00 AM to 6:00 PM (PST).

 

 

Thank you,

 

Stephanee S 

Customer Relations

Starbucks Coffee Company

800 23-LATTE (235-2883)

Monday through Friday, 5AM to 8PM (PST)

 

 

If you would like to share your thoughts about your experience with Starbucks Customer Contact Center, please click on the link below to participate in a short survey.  Your comments will be used to ensure that any future experiences with Starbucks Customer Contact Center meet your highest expectations.

 

http://www.starbuckscontactcenter.com/?group=CR&template=CR348&CN=6468999&aspect=347&Email_DateTime='3/25/11 1:44:02 AM MDT'To: info@starbucks.comSubject: RE: the beverage I ordered at a store <<#211758-6468999#>>Date: Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:17:10 -0400

Hi Stephanee, 

The Starbuck is on the corner of XXXX and YYYYY in ZZZZZ

My address is:XXXXX Bluh Bluh Ave.

Bluh Bluh, MI XXXXX

Thanks for your help. 

Jerry

-----------------------------

Note sent via mail on March 26, 2011:

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Starbucks Coffee Company.

Please accept the enclosed beverage coupons with my apologies for the experience you brought to my attention.  Thank you for giving us the opportunity to address your concerns and improve our operations.

If you have any further concerns, please feel free to contact us at info@starbucks.com or 1-800-23-LATTE (1-800-235-2883).

Sincerely,

Stephanee

Customer Relations

Starbucks Company

800-233-LATTE (235-2883)

Monday through Friday 5AM to 6PM (PST)
----------------

----------------------------

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Post # 143- Land o' Lakes Half and Half / Egg Substitute Mix-Up - 2/19/2010

Dear Land O’ Lakes,

I run a roach coach for Fortune 500 corporations. My day begins at 4AM. I load the truck with bagels, cream cheese, pastries, fresh fruit, individual cereals, candy, chips, and juices, sodas and milk. I prepare some breakfast burritos with eggs (or egg substitute), sausage, and cheese. I prepare buttered toast, etc. And I always set up a coffee station—coffee, creamer, and sweeteners. This takes two hours to prepare, and allows me to arrive at my first customer at 6:45 on the nose

Sometimes, people give me a gratuity, other times they don’t. Some regulars do it periodically. It’s always appreciated, never expected. But some people think that we in the service industry hold a grudge against the non-tipping sub-set of the population. I don’t.

Last Friday, I was in a hurry. I forgot the half and half and had to turn around. I reached in the cooler and grabbed the carton, and headed off. When I arrived, my third customer, Pippen requested a 16 ounce coffee with two creams. I poured the coffee and opened the Half and Half, dispensing two creams for the man my peers refer to as “No-Tippin’ Pippen”. Now, at this point, I should point out that the lighting was bad.

As I proceeded to serve my next few customers, Pippen storms back angry, claiming that I’m trying to poison him for never tipping. He said his coffee tasted like eggs. He said my Half and Half had turned. I checked the date--three more weeks. Then Pippen points out, in front of everyone that my Half and Half isn’t Half and Half at all. It’s Egg Substitute.  He accused me of "punishing" him for being a bad tipper.

The Egg Substitute carton and the Half and Half cartons are identical. Can you imagine my embarrassment? I can’t believe that I’m the first person to grab the wrong carton and start pouring. Why don’t you change your carton? Make it different enough. How do you expect folks who can’t see that well to easily discern between the two cartons?

Think about it. Let me know how we fix this.

Sincerely,

Jerry
--------------------------------------------
From: consumeraffairs@landolakes.com

Date: Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:09:32 -0600

Subject: Re: Land O'Lakes Ref #: 748315

Thank you for visiting the Land O'Lakes Web Site and taking the time to contact us.

Your email has been forwarded to the appropriate product specialist for handling. You should receive a response shortly.

Please let us know if we can be of assistance in the future. If you need to respond to this email, please use the "Reply" button.

Sincerely,

Land O'Lakes Consumer Affairs
Case: 748315
------------------------------------------
From: whitewaveconsumerresponse@casupport.com

Subject: Our Response to Your Email
Date: Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:14:48 -0500

Thank you for your e-mail to alert us of the recent experience you had with Land O Lakes®. We have notified our Quality Assurance Department so they can investigate this matter.

Best quality food products have been WhiteWave Foods’ passion since its beginning. Around here, every single person shares that goal and takes pride in our record of achievement. Incidents like the one you reported are rare, and we apologize for the inconvenience.

For us, the good news is that you cared enough to let us know about it. Thank you for that. You will receive four coupons in the mail within 7-10 business days.

We hope you will continue to enjoy our products.

Sincerely,

Yvonne Ortega
Consumer Response Representative
------------------------------------------------
Ref: N1003022
To: whitewaveconsumerresponse@casupport.com
Subject: FW: Our Response to Your Email
Date: Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:10:42 -0500

Dear Yvonne,

You’re dealing with someone who won a Half and Half Guzzling Contest in 2005. Question not my loyalty.

I get a little concerned when I hear you use words like Incident and Quality Control. This isn’t one carton of your creamy network that missed your QC Department’s sharp eyes. This is every carton that you ship. Every carton that Alex stocks at the Piggly Wiggly. Every drop that No Tippin’ Pippen sips in his morning java. It’s a carton design problem.

I would recommend involving your design team. Have them brainstorm something—maybe a sexy new container. Something that Buck Rogers might enjoy in his coffee.

Thanks,

Jerry

-----------------------

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Post # 133 - My Letter to Dart To Fix Their Horrible Spill-Prone Styrofoam Cup Design - 3/27/2010

It's happened to all of us.  Styofoam cup, shaky folding table, inevitable spill.  The story below happened today at my daughter's First Communion Retreat.  My son's is a year from now.  Wouldn't it be cool if I had a spill-proof cup of coffee?

Cups need to be top heavy for packaging reasons.  Or do they?

I spent a half hour on this.  It can surely be improved.  It may not even be practical.  If it gets them thinking about it, then I'm happy.
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Dart,


I have about had it with your cups. They are everywhere. Courtrooms, picnics, office settings, church basements. Your cups are top heavy and very prone to spills. Toss in a flimsy card table and some eight year olds, and you have spills waiting to happen.

Today I was at a retreat for my daughter’s First Communion. I had a manila folder on a folding table in the church recreation room. I left a cup of coffee in an 8 ounce non-biodegradable, non-recyclable Dart Styrofoam cup. I was gone 30 seconds to snag a doughnut. Upon my return, your cup was sideways. My coffee and my manila folder met. Jessica’s baptism certificate, picture application, and two photos were destroyed.

Why were they destroyed? Because your cups need to be top-heavy in order to store them. Think of all of the days that have been ruined by your design. Photos, legal documents, Jonesville attendees, contracts, dresses, ties, trousers, rugs, power strips. All because we collectively decided to settle.

We need to redesign this thing ASAP. I have two ideas. One practical, and one less-than-practical. The first is adding a kickstand to the side of your cup. It would clip on the side and add stability. It’s a dumb idea. I’m only throwing it out there so you’ll look at the second idea and say “wow—that’s much better!”

The second idea is based off of the paper bag design. This design would use a sturdier material though—either cardboard stock or thin (recyclable) plastic. The plastic that I’m thinking of is used for some gift bags. You unfold the bag, and on the side with the bend, there would be a channel, through which the user would slide the attached “rod”. The rod is nothing more than a small section of toothpick, plastic, or sucker stick. This reinforcement could be on one or two sides. I have an illustration for you (attached).

I have a diagram that illustrates it better. My idea may cost a little more per cup, and require an additional step by Joe Public. However, the benefits are customer satisfaction (a lot less spills), better packaging (ship more product in less space), and recyclable.

Regardless of whether my idea is feasible, sensible, or practical for you, I’m a layman in the single use container industry. I just redesigned your cup in like 25 minutes. You should be able to put together some proposals to solve this problem in no time.

What say you?

Thanks,

Jerry

P.S. – I see you’re based in Michigan. Me too.
--------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------
Subject: Dart 8 oz Foam Cups

From: Sales@dart.biz
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:58:17 -0400

Dear Jerry:

Thank you for your March 28 email providing us with your comments and feedback on our 8 oz foam cups. We appreciate your interest in the design of foam cups.

For those customers who require a higher level of vertical stability, we do offer a more squat cup configuration in our foam cup models 6J8,10J12, and 12J16. For more information on these squat-configured foam cups visit our web site at www.dart.biz. Click on the products tab, click on the US map,
and then click on foodservice foam cups, containers, and lids.

To submit any new product ideas to Dart, please note the following:

In order for Dart to review any product idea, we require the submitter to sign the attached Disclosure Policy Form. Please review this form, and if you are willing to comply with the terms,  and return it to us. You should also include any drawings, descriptions, or related materials that you would like us to review.

(See attached file: Disclosure Policy Form 2010.pdf)

Please send the completed disclosure form to the following address:

Dart Container Corporation
Attn: Marcus Braman, Marketing Department
500 Hogsback Road
Mason, MI 48854

Additionally, in your email, you mentioned that Dart foam cups are "non-recyclable". We would like you to know that Dart foam cups are recyclable. To learn more about the recycling of foam cups, please visit our web-site and click on "Information About Recycling Foam Cups". You will find a number of drop-off locatons in our Michigan County Recycling program. We trust there is one near you.

Sincerely,

Bob W.

BW/jv
-------------------------------------------
My response, dated 4/1/2010:
Dear Bob,


Thank you for the invitation to submit my idea. I will do so. Thanks also for the information about your squatter cups.

You mentioned that foam cups can be recycled. I was not aware of this. Thank you for enlightening me. Everything I have ever read focuses on the carcinogens, the ozone melting, and the oil required to produce polystyrene. It’s all about bound-up otters in the Pacific Northwest, and Tommy’s polluted drinking water in Dallas, Texas.

You caused me to do more research. I read where about twelve percent of all polystyrene is indeed recycled. They shred it, soak it in acetone, and mold the shredded material into items like trays and cups.

This still means that about 88 percent of the polystyrene that you’re producing is ending up in a landfill, an otter’s lower tract, or Tommy’s drinking water. I know from reading your legal forms, you can’t comment on pending ideas. I’m hoping one of these is “let’s get out of pumping this crap into the environment”.

Sincerely,

Jerry

------------------------------------

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Post # 96 - Black and Decker Coffee Maker Flunkie - 2/2/2010

Dear Black And Decker,

As an air traffic controller, I need to be alert at all times. I drink more than my share of coffee. I have four cups by the time the Horde hits. “Horde” is an industry term for the wave of 9AM commercial flights arriving in our airport. There are a very high number of 7AM flights in our time zone, and they all seem to arrive at the same time on any given weekday.

The vending machine coffee costs 50 cents, and tastes like someone soaked their smelly barf-soaked socks in the filter. One day, I opted to bring in my own coffee pot. As I looked through the isle, I selected Black and Decker. Ever since the Father’s Day I gave my Papa a Black and Decker Shop Vac, I have been pleased. I chose the unit that features a timer. DCM 1400B. The Café Noir, with it’s sleak, sexy curves and tantalizing flip lid. In this way, I could be greeted in the workplace with pipin’ hot coffee, every day.

This was my dream for three solid years, five days a week. I’d enjoy a pot a day. My blood pressure shot through the roof—it was fantastic. Until last Thursday.

Check the flight records. Last Thursday, a 747 and a 727 were cleared to land on the same runway at the same time. If not for the stunt flying talents of Captain Eugene Monastat, we would have had an incident. He quickly aborted landing and pulled back up. He circled around again until my supervisor cleared him to land. My supervisor, who put me on paid leave.

I was dragging that day. I didn’t have any coffee. My Black and Decker Café Noir Coffee Maker called in sick that day. It seems the burner decided to stop working. How could this happen so soon? Was that Elton John Candle in the Wind song really about his Black and Decker Coffee Maker?

I’m sure that somewhere in the box, there was a 90 day or 12 month warranty on parts. I’m sure I looked at it and laughed to myself. “Warranty? Give me a break—this is a Black and Decker. IT will outlive ME!”

My mom uses the same electric waffle iron that her grandmother used back in the Eisenhower administration. It has never failed—those waffles taste as good as they did when my Great Grandfather stared at that “ready” indicator. How, I ask, can we excuse a 3 hour appliance lifespan? To me, that’s disgraceful. I would be ashamed. I would feel a little shame. If Café Noir was a high school student, she flunked 11th Grade Biology and didn’t graduate.

I’d appreciate a written explanation. Your appliance failed me, and far, far too soon.

Thank you,

Jerry
---------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 4 Feb 2010 08:12:25 -0500

From: applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com
Subject: Re: Applica Inquiry - Transaction 9653130 (Thread:2096138)

Thank you for contacting Applica Consumer Products, Inc., a subsidiary of Salton, Inc. We value you as a customer and appreciate your patronage.

Unfortunately we are unable to determine the issue with your coffeemaker via email. Your comments have been forwarded to the appropriate department.

If we can be of any further assistance, we ask that you please contact our Consumer Service Department at 1-800-231-9786. Our hours of operation are Monday thru Friday from 8:30am ET to 8:00pm ET. You can also elect to e-mail us at applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com, or you can go to http://www.prodprotect.com and fill out a contact form. A representative will be happy to assist you.

Applica Consumer Service
applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
To: applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com

Subject: RE: Applica Inquiry - Transaction 9653130 (Thread:2096138)
Date: Thu, 4 Feb 2010 23:06:42 -0500

Dear Nameless Customer Service Entity,

I'm assuming that when you forward this to the appropriate department, this becomes a cold case.

Cold as that burner was when it didn't work.

While we're venting, I never liked the pitcher spout. Most pots are designed to pour cleanly from pot to coffee maker and pot to mug. With your dandy pitcher the liquid, be it water or hot coffee, liked to flow down the side of the spout part, all over the place rather than cleanly "off of the spout" into the intended target. There was an art--she was like a wild bronco that I learned to ride over time. A very gradual tip of the coffee pot usually did the trick, but about once a week, I was wiping up coffee.

Please share that with whichever nameless department would want to know about that.

If anyone cares, I have the problematic coffee pot. I'm thinking of throwing it out.

Jerry
----------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 2010 15:33:44 -0500

From: applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com
Subject: Re: Applica Inquiry - Transaction 9653130 (Thread:2096138)

Thank you for contacting Applica Consumer Products, Inc., a subsidiary of Salton, Inc. We value you as a customer and appreciate your patronage.

Unfortunately there is only a 1 year limited warranty on your model.

Our products are built to high industry standards and function as designed. However, we are constantly striving for better quality and ways to improve our products. In this endeavor, our Engineering and Quality Control team are regularly informed of consumer feedback regarding any difficulty encountered during the use of our products.

We have forwarded your comments to our Engineering and Quality Control team.

If we can be of any further assistance, we ask that you please contact our Consumer Service Department at 1-800-231-9786. Our hours of operation are Monday thru Friday from 8:30am ET to 8:00pm ET. You can also elect to e-mail us at applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com, or you can go to http://www.prodprotect.com and fill out a contact form. A representative will be happy to assist you.


Applica Consumer Service

applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
To: applicaconsumeraffairs@fox-international.com
Subject: RE: Applica Inquiry - Transaction 9653130 (Thread:2096138)
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 2010 23:24:28 -0500

Dear Nameless Customer Service Entity,

I figured that at some point, you'd hide behind that piece of paper. I suppose I'm a sucker for not opening the box before I purchased the Cafe Noir to understand its warranty. Just between you and me, doesn't a one year warranty seem a little flimsy? I assume that duration was determined by some folks with slide rules and data to ensure profitability. So this coffee pot, if as you say, functions as designed, was more or less pre-destined to quit working. In fact, three years is quite a run--wouldn't you say?

People that I know well in the consumer industry are very interested in failed components. There is much to be learned from a part that fails. How was it used? How often? How long? What type of water (soft, hard, etc)? What type of coffee? Was it moved often? These types of answers, in combination with the analysis of the parts, could only result in better understanding of your product, your user, and how to improve. If there were things from past returns and usages, that could have been conveyed to me to improve my coffee maker experienc e (i.e. Folgers Coffee is harsh on a coffee maker.)

But as you said, it functions as designed, so I guess we're all set.

In your generic note, you mentioned forwarding my comments to your engineering and quality control teams. That's fine--hopefully it benefits the next guy, who won't be me.

The coffee maker, and all the information that you can learn from it, are sitting on my curb for garbage pickup. It's the one with "NFG" spraypainted on it.

Thanks,

Jerry
---------------------------------------
I'm not really impressed with Black and Decker.

Post # 160: TGIFriday and the Tuesday Vibe

Post # 187: My Proposal To Governor Snyder

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/
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Post #60 - Satanic Espresso Maker - 8/9/2009

I wrote this for some friends of mine whose espresso maker crapped out on them.

Dear Gaggia,

Each and every morning, I have a deeply religious experience. I roll out of bed, throw on my bathrobe and slippers, and march downstairs to my Gaggia Syncrony Compact CE Espresso Maker. I lovingly measure out the beans; grind them, all the while enjoying the aroma and sound of my morning beverage preparing itself before my eyes, ears, and nose.

This morning ritual is my happy time--I sacrifice it for nothing.

Early meeting? Get up a little earlier.

Telephone call? Call back later.

Screaming baby? Nature beats nurture.

Large laceration on my arm (and this actually happened)? That ambulance ride will feel a lot better after a nice shot of espresso from my Gaggia Syncrony Compact CE.

You can imagine how violated and betrayed I felt when the brown cow (that's what I call her) started acting insolent. That loving gurgle became an angry hiss. It started “peeing” all over the counter. The delightful frothy milk that used to grace my little Tad’s hot cocoa, began scalding his roof. Second degree burn, but first degree betrayal!

No offense, but if your Espresso Maker were a beloved family dog that harmed Tad, he’d be “sent away to live on a large farm.” Nobody scalds my Tad’s mouth. You get it? Nobody. I spent a lot of money on your machine, to ensure that I have a quality product that doesn’t need to be replaced. For a few years now, I felt like that investment was justified. Now I feel like I’ve invested a large sum of money for a machine that hisses and screams at me, and a Tad with a blister on his roof.

Worst of all, your Gaggia Syncrony Compact CE undermined me. I had told Tad that Cap’n Crunch was bad because it scrapes your roof. So now, if I ever again want espresso, I have to start buying him Cap’n Crunch. Do you see our dilema?


I demand a written explanation and resolution. No doubt you’ve manufactured a million of these things. No doubt, you’ve received a complaint or two. If you have some troubleshooting steps that you would like me to perform, let me know. If you are able to diagnose the problem based on my descriptions that would be acceptable as well. If you want to evaluate it for possible design improvements, please send me a shipping label.

Specifically:
What would cause this?
How do we fix it?
Once it’s fixed, how do we ensure that it never happens again, to anyone?

Sincerely,

Jerry
---------------------
They never replied. Their website is all Italian--I needed to use a translator.

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com

Post # 35 - Starbucks Weather Reporter - 9/9/2009

I wrote this letter to a friend who is a loyal customer to Starbucks, but had encountered three bad visits very recently in Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, and West Bloomfield. Names were changed to protect the innocent. This was sent 9/9/2009.

Dear Starbucks,

As the lead reporter on the second-most-popular national weather television network, I am on the road constantly. As we attempt to pry viewers from the Weather Channel, there are two crucial times of year—1) torrential storm season (right now!), and 2) (to a lesser extent) blizzard season. Every little thing, good or bad, affects our ratings. The weather patterns that dictate my schedule care little about things like “sleep” and “downtime”. Consequently, I am dependent on my daily coffee. When it comes to coffee, there has always been only one alternative—Starbucks.

As your brand becomes increasingly popular, it becomes easier to get my fix. And now, your stores are popping up everywhere—grocery stores, Target, and on the cozy corners of Anytown, USA. Now, however, I am wondering if you’re becoming too big for your britches, and losing touch with your most important asset—your customers. In the past few weeks, I have had three unfortunate experiences.

First, in Grand Rapids, Michigan, I brought a “thank you” iced coffee, “light on the ice” for my coworker Marvin. His great lighting really saved our coverage of the Ferrysburg Funnel Cloud. When I presented his iced coffee, a livid Marvin accused me of sabotaging his coffee—he showed me a cup FULL of ice, and low on coffee. Ever since, my lighting has been “ever-so-slightly” off. Viewership is down a quarter point. Letters began filing in from angry weatherphiles: “Replace her! She looks so sinister!”

My second incident occurred the next morning in Kalamazoo, MI, where I ordered my make-up artist’s standard “wake-me-up” Venti Soy Latte. We had been up late the night before, celebrating successful coverage of the Muskegon Mudslide. We were in a hurry, chasing the next storm as usual. When I checked, Lisa’s beverage was Grande, and not Venti. Her make-up application that day was sub-par—Lisa made me look hideous! Viewership dropped another quarter point. Letters began filing in from angry weatherphiles: “Replace the monster! She’s frightening our children!”

My third incident occurred in West Bloomfield, MI, on August 20, 2009. I was in my hometown covering the West Bloomfield Windstorm. As a treat, I bought my crew a free round, as we were heading out. I placed a bigger order than usual-- a Strawberry Banana Smoothie (for Marvin), a Vanilla Crème Frappacino (for me), and a Venti Coffee Frappaccino (for David, the sound guy). The order took a VERY long time, plus, the barista mistakenly made a Caramel Frappaccino with whipped cream instead of the simple Coffee Frappaccino with no whipped cream. She apologized, but because we were in a rush, I had to leave, so I paid for my order and left. My sound guy was upset with his Caramel Frappaccino, and did a poor job of mixing. That evening, my voice sounded very “bassy”. Local radio personalities accused me of being a man. Viewership dropped another quarter point. Letters began filing in from angry weatherphiles: “Replace the man! She sounds like Barry White.” Now no one is talking to me. I see execs in the big boardroom, and anxious 22 year-old blondes nervously walking in with leather-bound binders and resumes.

As you can see, our business is very fickle and catty. People depend on their coffee, and they want it to be made to order. Can you provide a written explanation? How do these things happen? Why do they keep happening to me? Does Starbucks own The Weather Channel or something? In the meantime, I wait to hear my fate--I may be the next infomercial assistant.

Sincerely,

Julie
--------------------------------------------
Starbucks didn't answer right away. We sent a follow-up note on 9/21/09.

Dear Starbucks,

Livid. That’s the word that I use to describe my recent experiences with Starbuck’s. A week ago, I took the time to communicate to you, three bad experiences. One in Grand Rapids (too icy even though I asked for light ice), one in Kalamazoo (wrong size), and one in West Bloomfield (plain Frappuccino instead of vanilla. Did anyone from corporate bother to respond? No. But then, I guess I’m not thirsty and coffee-deprived, waiting in line with a $5 bill.

The sad thing is, three “mess-ups” would really hurt a mom and pop place. The very type of place that you’ve been putting out of business all across the country. In a way, I’m thinking I need to start supporting those smaller businesses.

I would be embarrassed if I was Starbucks. You have a license to print money, and you know it. You don’t really care if people are unhappy.

I guess I’m wondering how you justify not responding to complaints. Not even any inquiries for more information about each incident. In the meantime, I would recommend stopping the two hour lunches and perhaps running a lap of shame around the Starbuck’s compound.

Sincerely,

Julie

--------------------------------
From: Customer Relations
Subject: Response from Starbucks Coffee Company - Case # 7420059
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009, 6:17 PM

Hello Julie,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to us. I am very sorry that your beverages were not enjoyable and made incorrectly during your trip.

It is our passion to provide the finest coffee beverages to our customers, and it's disappointing to me to hear that you were unhappy with yours. I know that a primary reason that you come to Starbucks is for the highest quality and consistent drinks. I want to assure you that I will be following up with the stores and its management teams in order to ensure that we are making these beverages correctly.

Unfortunately, I am unclear at which specific stores these incidents happened. If you could please respond to this email with further information about the store location (such as cross streets), this would help us greatly. Please also feel free to take a look at our store locator at http://www.starbucks.com/retail/find/default.aspx for store information.

What I would like to do, is to invite you back to our stores to have a drink done right. I would be happy to mail you some beverage coupons so that your next drink will be on us.

Thanks again for giving us the opportunity to fix this situation. I assure you that we take feedback from our customers seriously and will use this as an opportunity to improve the experience for you.

If there are any questions or concerns that I have not been able to address, please don't hesitate to call us at 800 23-LATTE (235-2883), we are here Monday through Friday from 5:00 AM to 6:00 PM (PST).

Thank you,
Amy
Customer Relations
Starbucks Coffee Company
--------------------------------
Note from my friend, to Starbucks, sent 9/28/2009

Dear Amy:

Thank you, I would appreciate coupons. My address is below. The stores at which I had problems were Spartan - Breton Village #1572, 1814 Breton Road SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49506; Stadium & Drake, 4700 Stadium Drive, Kalamazoo, MI 49008; Orchard Lake, 6765 Orchard Lake Rd, West Bloomfield, MI 48322.


Sincerely,
Julie
-----------------------------------
This note was sent, along with two free product coupons:
October 5, 2009

Dear Julie:

Thank you for taking the time to contact Starbucks Coffee Company. Please accept the enclosed beverage coupons with my apologies for your experience, as discussed in our email correspondence. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to address your concerns and improve our operations. If you have any further concerns, please feel free to contact us at info@starbucks.com or 1-800-23-latte.

Sincerely, Amy

Customer Relations Starbucks Coffee Company

-------------------------------------

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Post #7 - Nestle Coffeemate Creamer Bottle Design Flaw - 8/26/2009

Yesterday, my cousin brought a design flaw on the Nestle Coffemate Creamer Bottle. He pointed out how the fancy, decorative spout doesn't work properly. He isn't really a Nanny.;

My letter, sent 8/26/2009:

------------------------------------------------------
Dear Nestle,

I love nannying. I nanny like no other. The other nanny bowed to my “nanniness” during Nanny Monthly Happy Hour Mixers. For 13 years, I nannied an upper class family--three kids between the ages of fourteen and three. The Hamptons worked long hours as restaurateurs, keen on getting the leading edge in the claw grabber market. I could anticipate and treat a child’s cold before the kid even knew about it. Bathroom schedules, bedtimes, allergies all became second nature. But that’s all in the past.

The Hamptons were eager to adopt a beautiful Malaysian infant. They were on a waiting “list” for four years. When they finally got a “nibble”, they asked me to prepare for an in-home visit from a third party. This was a standard, but critical step in the adoption process. Everything HAD to be perfect—first impressions were everything.

I prepared a lovely brunch—fresh pineapple, bananas, orange slices, tiny quiches, bagels with three cream cheeses and lox, yogurt, and a rainbow of muffins, including brannies, in case Ms. Zeebles had digestive issues. Mr. Hampton also requested gourmet coffee and real cream. As I passed through the grocers, I saw “real cream”. I also saw a product made by THE greatest Chocolate producers on the planet. That’s right—Nestle.

I snatched up three elegant looking Nestle Coffeemate creamers—Fat Free Hazelnut, Belgian Chocolate Toffee, and Tiramisu. I rushed home like I had an A on my spelling test. I proudly placed your creamers out with the other items—sort of the crowning jewel in my Nanny Flurry of Brunch Excellence. Only, your crowning jewel has a terribly designed pouring mechanism that spewed creamer all over Ms. Zeebles’ hideous power suit.

Ms. Zeebles was embarrassed. This threw Mr. Hampton into a tizzy—the stress of four years took its toll. Hampton berated me. Ms. Zeebles took a break from blotting her creamer stains, to jot some negative notes. Zeebles rejected the Hamptons, and Ned Hampton fired me on the spot.

I want a written explanation. Who designed that crummy spout? What gives you the right to branch out from what you do best—chocolate, and make something outside of your field of expertise? Do you see the Oreo folk designing rockets? I don’t think so. I’m really miffed. And really hungry, since I don’t have any income. I should have grabbed a brannie on the way out!

Sincerely,

Jerry
(Former) Nanny to the Hamptons
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8/27/09 Response from Beverly, Customer Response Representative at Nestle

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for contacting Nestlé® Coffee-mate® Non-Dairy Creamer regarding your leaking cap. We appreciate your feedback. Your feedback plays an integral role in our ongoing efforts to further improve our products and services.


We recently made improvements to our packaging including the addition of a pull tab. We have heard from some consumers that the new package is leaking between the cap and the bottle. We are currently working to improve this and appreciate your patience. A revised red cap will be out in the marketplace very soon and will reduce the leaking issue.


Regarding the leaking, it’s not necessary to shake the product each time you use it. Please shake it well before removing the safety seal, and then it doesn't need to be shaken again. You can "swirl" the product in the bottle, if necessary. If you shake it every time, the liquid will pool in the tear-drop in the lid and leak down the back of the cap near the bow-tie hinge. This may also cause the lid to "splash" or "spit" when it’s closing.


We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and we would like to assure you that we have reported your comments to our Marketing department. We are committed to providing you with products that live up to your high standards for taste, quality, nutrition and enjoyment - in short, "the very best."


You are a valued customer and we feel confident that you will be completely satisfied with our product in the future. You can expect to receive a follow up letter from us via regular mail containing full value coupons towards a future purchase. Please allow seven to ten business days.


We appreciate your interest in our products. Nestlé is the world's foremost Nutrition, Health and Wellness company beginning in 1867 with infant formula and now manufactures many products including but not limited to chocolate. Please visit our website to learn more about our products at www.nestle.com.


Sincerely,
"Beverly"
Consumer Response Representative
Ref #:16948789
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Beverly,

Thank you for all of the tips. I don’t have a bottle of your creamer in front of me, but I’m betting the instructions are right there on the bottle, and Ms. Zeebles didn’t read them prior to “creamerizing” her beverage. In fact, I’m betting that with your bottle, I have the makings of a wrongful termination case on my hands!

And thanks as well for the offer of coupons. Coupons are always welcome when you’re unemployed!

Most of all, I like that you’re admitting there’s an issue, and that your research and development team is working overtime to fix it!

Again, I appreciate your response.

Sincerely,

Jerry
------------------------------------------------------
Note from Beverly, Nestle Consumer Response Representative, dated 8/27/2009

Dear Jerry,

Once again, thank you for contacting Nestle Coffee-mate Non-Dairy Creamer. This is a follow-up to our recent email correspondence.

As promised, enclosed is compensation for your unsatisfactory purchase. We regret the occurrence and are grateful for you bringing it to our attention. Please be assured that our quality assurance people have been notified of your report.

We value you as a customer and appreciated the opportunity to respond to your concern. We trust you will be completely satisfied with our product in the future.

Sincerely,

Beverly
Consumer Response Representative
Ref#16948789


Enclosed: three coupons for creamer, up to $2.99 per coupon
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Beverly,

I appreciate the coupons. I presented them to Ned Hampton, and he rehired me on the spot. I will be “creamer-izing” all future Hampton coffees, and wearing a bib.

In your note, you state that you’re contacting the quality department. I thought that we agreed that the spout is a design issue. Any discrepancy between your special directions, and what’s on the side of the bottle, that would be up for debate—quality or design.

Thanks again!

Jerry
-------------------------------------------------------------
September 2, 2009

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Nestlé® Coffee-mate® again. We welcome questions and comments from loyal consumers and appreciate this opportunity to assist you.

We are pleased that you and Ned Hampton enjoyed the coupons we sent. We would like to assure you again that we have reported your comments to our Marketing department.

We are committed to providing you with products that live up to your high standards for taste, quality, nutrition and enjoyment - in short, "the very best."

We appreciate your interest in our products and hope you will visit our website often for the latest information on our products and promotions.

Sincerely,
Beverly
Consumer Response Representative
Ref #:16948789

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