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Monday, September 7, 2009

Post #13 - War on Spam - mr. Frank Volume 1

This is a five parter--mr. Frank, trying to lure me into his scam. It was a chess match, to say the least.  This all started on 6/22/2009.

From: mr. Frank (
Post fact 8098 Zurich
Swiss Clearing Number: 230
Postal Account: 80-2-2
Web site:

Dear Good one!!!

I am an investment consultant working with Bank UBS AG Zurich at their offshore department Zurich Switzerland. I will be happy to work this deal out with you if you have a corporate or personal Bank Account and if you are capable to keep TOP SECRET. I need strong Assurance that you will never let me down, if I transfer this money to your account.

During one of our periodic auditing I discovered a dormant accounts with holding balance of US$ 232,000.000.00 {Two hundred and Thirty Two million US Dollars only} Sometimes a person will open a bank account, deposit money, and then disappear into the tin air. Banks are not always able to find out what has become of these silent customers, or to know whether they should follow up on requests from people who claim to be heirs to the accounts. The main problem is that the customer resides abroad and, due to bank secrecy, the bank cannot publish notices in the international press to locate the depositaries. This has led the majority of Swiss banks to refrain from opening small-deposit accounts for foreign customers; for fear that they will forget that the account exists. It has happened in the past, however, that customers pass away and their heirs can neither prove the death, nor their heir ship. This was a frequent occurrence during the wartime periods, and the banks have now set up a simple, rapid resolution procedure operating to their customers’ advantage. Dormant assets are defined as any assets deposited with a bank (i.e. an account, a custody account or a safety-deposit box) for which there has been no contact with the customer in the bank’s files for the last ten years or more. If you believe you have claim to a Swiss bank account for which the holder (e.g. an ancestor) has not been in contact with the bank for over ten years, there is a fairly simple procedure to follow, depending on the date the account was opened this account has not been operated for the past years. As at this moment, I am constrained to issue more details about this business until your response is received. If you are not familiar with Swiss Dormant Accounts and profile, please take a moment of your very busy schedules to read about Swiss dormant accounts:

If you know that you are capable to handle large or small amount on trust and can keep secret and ready to take 40% of any amount I transfer to your account from the dormant account and I will take 60%, send the following information by return mail:

Beneficiary Bank name...?
Bank address..................?
Account no.....................?
Swift code....................?
Account name.................?
Beneficiary address...........?
Your phone no................?
Your Occupation?

Tell me more about yourself, while I look forward to receive the above Information. I want to re-assure you that this business is risk free and you can send an empty account to receive the funds, provided that the account is capable to receive incoming funds. Contact me urgently via email privately for further details:(
Thank you for your time and attention.

Warmest regards
Mr.Frank donald.
My response to mr. Frank, 6/22/2009

Dear mr. Frank,

I am a small business owner, on the brink of a major telecommunication breakthrough. I can keep a secret. I never told anybody that my uncle offed a guy for taking advantage of me. He gave me his teeth. They adorn my necklace. But your secret is safe with me.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Bluetooth phones. An earpiece interfaces with a separate device, allowing people to look like aliens talking to themselves. I’ve taken this technology a step further. By adding one electrode, and a few simple macros, I’ve invented the Telepath-one (patent pending).

With the Telepath-one (patent pending), the user can communicate via telephone, using brainwaves rather than sound waves. No nagging people behind you in the movies. You can argue with your mom or girlfriend while sitting in the boardroom with crusty old codgers, determining how to “put it” to the man!

Your business proposal will help me. That should fund my operation for roughly 3 months. Perhaps you want in? I’m assuming you’re “mr. Frank” because you own a wiener hut? Or because you suffered an unfortunate third degree burn in college, trying that trick with the lighter, after too much cafeteria chili.

Here is my info:

Beneficiary Bank name: Federal Bank One and Three Fifths
Bank address: 1 Cupmilk Lane, Teaspoonsalt City, MS 80088
Beneficiary address: 8 Dashpaprika Street Worchestershire City, MS 80088
Your phone no. 666-554-4565
Your Occupation: Inventioneer
Age: 39
Bank Account Name, Account Number, Swift Code: ___________________

Before we get any further, I need at least one mr. Frank story. It can be about a time when you loved and lost. It can be about a time when you were embarrassed. Or a time when you were afraid.

Please comply with my screening process. This is two ways, babycakes.


Lance E. Antsyinmypantsy
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