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Sunday, January 27, 2013

Post# 295 - Alamo Car Rental - 7/15/12

Dear Alamo,

My brother brought this to my attention when he came into town and rented one of your fine automobiles.

He rented a Nissan product, which raised some controversy, especially since he was headed into Big 3 country.  This vehicle used the keyless "FOB".  Your keys happened to come attached to one another on a cord.  The keys were basically inseparable, unless he were to cut the cord.

What's the point of giving him two keys if they're attached with a cord that he would have to cut?  If he's supposed to cut the cord if he wants the keys separated, how would he do this without making a special trip to the store for a sharp object (scissors, a knife, etc) that he wouldn't be able to carry on to his airplane when he leaves?

I'm just trying to understand where you're coming from.  It's puzzling.



Sunday, January 20, 2013

Post# 294 - Arby's - What's With The Right Hand Drive Through?

Dear Arby’s,

I was extremely disappointed with a recent visit to one of your restaurants.  As I drove through the drive through, I realized your window was on the right side of my car, some five plus feet away.  With my foot on the brake, it’s virtually impossible to reach your cashier with my $6.83 in small bills and coins, without putting my car in park, unbuckling my seat belt, and straddling my shifter—HAY-OH!

Let’s look at it this way.  I’m smart enough to put the car in park before taking my foot off the brake.  I’ve an Arby’s customer fill an entire 16 ounce cup full of Horsey Sauce.  When I asked him why, he said, “I’ve got family flying in from out of town.”  Let’s say I pull up after our little transaction, and Horsey Sauce Guy is behind me.  He takes his foot off the brake to reach your cashier.  I’m sitting there, seat belt still off, sorting through my food items when….WHAM!  Rear ended.  You just put me at risk.

Are you trying to put people at risk?  Are you more concerned about the aesthetics and flow of your restaurant than the safety and convenience of your drive-through patrons?  Are we, your loyal customers, collateral damage in a war against convention and logic?

By making us reach, are you trying to evolve the human species to have a much longer right arm for some future purpose?  Maybe a longterm plan to convert all of your restaurants over to the more cost effective Righty Drive Through, all so your stock rises a quarter point?

Please Explain!

Their response, dated 6/1/12:

Dear Mr. Jerry,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding the problem you encountered with your recent visit to one of our restaurants. We share your concern and frustration with the incident you encountered, and sincerely regret any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Please be assured that, at Arby's, quality and consumer satisfaction are our highest priorities. Thanks to consumers like you and the information you provide, we are better able to trace the source of a problem and take any actions that may be necessary to resolve it. We have shared your comments with our Facilities Management team so that this could be taken into account for future consideration. We are going to mail you 2 VIP cards (each valid for a free combo meal) to invite you back to one of our restaurants.

Once again, our apologies for your inconvenience and I hope we can continue to consider you a valued customer.


Arby's Customer Relations 
Soon after, I received in the mail, two coupons for free combination meals.


Friday, January 11, 2013

Post# 293 - Hungry Howies Went All Cajun on My Kids' Pizza

Dear Hungry Howies,

Last night, my wife brought home the family meal deal. Two large pizzas, a salad, and a two liter jug of Pepsi.   She rationalized the extra pizza because "I can give the kids pizza for lunch."  She ordered a kid-friendly (pepperoni) pizza, and a grown-up (green pepper and mushroom) pizza.

On the pepperoni pizza, intended for the kids, she ordered butter/cheese ranch crust.

You made half of it cajun.  Look--I like cajun crust.  To rectify things, I would have traded pizzas.  My kids really don't like green pepper and mushroom.  So, besides burning their mouths with that first bite of spicy crust, we had to waste what is, to my kids, their favorite part of the pizza.

Flavored crust is a great thing. Wrongly flavored crust is a very, very bad thing.

My wife, who ordered this at the counter and waited, believes that our order was confused with another order, placed around the same time.  Either way, we're not very happy.


Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2012 15:07:11 -0400
Subject: Message From Hungry Howie's Pizza

HH Logo

Hello Jerry Herman:

I want to thank you for taking the time to share your recent experience at Hungry Howie's with me. Your feedback is very important to us as it allows us to better understand how we can improve our service to you.

I want you to know that I have already taken action on your feedback. After reading your email, I immediately shared the information you brought to our attention with the local franchise owner of the restaurant you visited. Additionally, I notified our regional Hungry Howie's consultant who works with this owner for follow-up.

Again, Jerry, thank you for sharing your feedback. We appreciate your business and we hope to have the pleasure of serving you soon.



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Friday, January 4, 2013

Post# 292 - Alphabits - It's Time for a Font Change - 7/15/12

Dear Post,

The time has come for a change.  For years, kids have been waking up and staring at their 48 point Arial Font Alphabits.  On one hand, they're learning the value of letters, of reading, reading comprehension, and eventually their chosen vocation.

On the other hand, their creativity is being stifled.  They get up and see Arial font in their milk, and head to school and see more Arial in their text books.  If they're "lucky," maybe they see a little Times New Roman.  Studies showt these fonts when seen ad nauseum, stifle creativity.

Why not change it up?  How about a nice Helvetica font?  Are you worried about the shareholders?  They'll get by.  They'll thrive.  Let's worry about the children for a change, instead of the bottom frigging line.  They are the future.  They are the ones that need to be shown all the beauty that they possess inside.

Why not try Helvetica Alphabits on a limited basis?  Maybe a focus group?  Why not?  Are you afraid of change?  I heard you shot down Number Crunch, which I thought was an awesome idea. 

Let me know what you think.



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