Post # 125 - Mr. Coffee and Me Espresso-ing Myself - 3/14/2010

Buying an espresso machine is a lot like being a parent in that you leave yourself vulnerable to all of the highs and lows.  Kids can please, and they can dissappoint.  If you do any amount of research, the same is true for an espresso machine. 

I have friends who can tell you, high end units don't necessarily result in the manufacturer "standing by" their product when it stops working.

With this in mind, I decided to go toward the lower end: Mr. Coffee.  For under $100, I found a machine that received mostly positive reviews (they all get a lot of negative reviews).  This way, if it fails after the one-year warranty, as they often do, I'm only out $100.

The first several pulls were pretty good--nice layer of crema on top.  So far, I am happy, but I plan to work the machine hard within the warranty window.

I decided I should establish my relationship with Mr. Coffee up front.
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Dear Mr. Coffee,

As a Hot Water Gasket Salesman, I travel quite a bit. As you can imagine, people don’t run right up to me and buy a gasket. It’s always a tough sell. But, when I find that customer who wants to buy, he’ll want 1000 of these things. I just need to find him.

Travel is, as you can imagine, exhausting. Smokey, Gladys, and Diana can only pump so much energy into one’s soul. At some point, drugs are required. I have chosen caffeine. Coffee and pop have caffeine, but they also contain water. Water is kryptonite to a traveling salesman. Espresso, however, has a lot of caffeine, and much less water.

I decided to take a chance. I have done a great deal of research on the internet. You can spend $2000 for a really nice machine, or $30 for a crappy steam-fed machine. Logic would say “you can by a $1000 unit that lasts 20 years, or ten $100 units that each last two years. However, I see big spenders are complaining after two and three years. They’re problematic. Pumps break. Seals fail. Steamers clog. Again, the complaints are the same on the high end as they are on the low end.

For me, the requirements are simple:

1) 15 bar pump.
2) Removable water reservoir.
3) Removable Drip Tray.

I chose the Mr. Coffee ECMP50. I’ve had it a week, and so far so good. With the right beans, and the right grind resolution, the espresso tastes as good as any that I have had.

So you’re aware, your machine gets praise and criticism.

Praises: 1) Removable trays. 2) Swinging froth wand. 3) Easy to use. 4) Nice layer of crema. 5) Warms up quickly.

Criticisms: 1) No service parts. 2) Leakage. 3) Temperamental. 4) Pump failures. 5) Smoking. Some people made it less than 6 months.

It seems I’m in a crap shoot. I intend to hold up my end of the user/buyer agreement. I’m following the cleaning and maintenance instructions very closely. You mention periodic de-scaling, not storing with the brew basket in place, using fresh water each time, etc. I’m even using distilled water.

Be advised--I intend to work my machine hard for the first year (during the warranty period). If I own an infant mortality unit, you and I will hopefully know within the warranty period.

Please don’t let me down.

Jerry
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They didn't respond.

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com

Post #60 - Satanic Espresso Maker - 8/9/2009

I wrote this for some friends of mine whose espresso maker crapped out on them.

Dear Gaggia,

Each and every morning, I have a deeply religious experience. I roll out of bed, throw on my bathrobe and slippers, and march downstairs to my Gaggia Syncrony Compact CE Espresso Maker. I lovingly measure out the beans; grind them, all the while enjoying the aroma and sound of my morning beverage preparing itself before my eyes, ears, and nose.

This morning ritual is my happy time--I sacrifice it for nothing.

Early meeting? Get up a little earlier.

Telephone call? Call back later.

Screaming baby? Nature beats nurture.

Large laceration on my arm (and this actually happened)? That ambulance ride will feel a lot better after a nice shot of espresso from my Gaggia Syncrony Compact CE.

You can imagine how violated and betrayed I felt when the brown cow (that's what I call her) started acting insolent. That loving gurgle became an angry hiss. It started “peeing” all over the counter. The delightful frothy milk that used to grace my little Tad’s hot cocoa, began scalding his roof. Second degree burn, but first degree betrayal!

No offense, but if your Espresso Maker were a beloved family dog that harmed Tad, he’d be “sent away to live on a large farm.” Nobody scalds my Tad’s mouth. You get it? Nobody. I spent a lot of money on your machine, to ensure that I have a quality product that doesn’t need to be replaced. For a few years now, I felt like that investment was justified. Now I feel like I’ve invested a large sum of money for a machine that hisses and screams at me, and a Tad with a blister on his roof.

Worst of all, your Gaggia Syncrony Compact CE undermined me. I had told Tad that Cap’n Crunch was bad because it scrapes your roof. So now, if I ever again want espresso, I have to start buying him Cap’n Crunch. Do you see our dilema?


I demand a written explanation and resolution. No doubt you’ve manufactured a million of these things. No doubt, you’ve received a complaint or two. If you have some troubleshooting steps that you would like me to perform, let me know. If you are able to diagnose the problem based on my descriptions that would be acceptable as well. If you want to evaluate it for possible design improvements, please send me a shipping label.

Specifically:
What would cause this?
How do we fix it?
Once it’s fixed, how do we ensure that it never happens again, to anyone?

Sincerely,

Jerry
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They never replied. Their website is all Italian--I needed to use a translator.

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com