Dear Summer’s Eve,
I’m not part of your target demographic. I’m a widowed father of four boys—Timmy, Tommy, Teddy, and Bob. Why am I contacting you? Allow me to explain.
I’m always telling my sons, “don’t use a word or phrase, if you can’t tell me what it means.” Terms like moron, jerk, nincompoop, and fo-shizzle have been temporarily shelved until they can be paired up with the correct definition.
The other day, I was in my car, driving to my florist shoppe. Some idiot cut me off, and then proceeded to drive 31 miles per hour in a 45 mil per hour zone. I called him every name under the sun—some of which I could never repeat here. One of those terms that I used was…”Douche Bag.”
It occurred to me that I had become the fellow that I was trying to prevent my sons from becoming. I was throwing around terms that I didn’t understand. I felt unclean. I felt like a great big hypocrite.
So now, I am quietly typing and sending this while the boys sleep. I’m trying to correct my mistake. They say “Father Knows Best.” Well, this time, I don’t think so.
What is a “Douche Bag?” I have a rough idea of the general concept. I don’t know anything about the apparatus, it's function, or how one would use it. Any assistance that you can provide is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Jerry
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Subject: Summer's Eve Inquiry
Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 08:52:08 -0400
From: semailbox@CBFLEET.COM
Dear Jerry,
Before the invention of disposable douches, women used a douche bag filled with water and vinegar to cleanse the vagina.
If you haven’t done so already, I suggest Googling the term and select “Images” from the tool bar to see what it looks like.
Kindest regards,
Beth
Summer’s Eve Feminine Care Specialist
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To: semailbox@cbfleet.com
Subject: RE: Summer's Eve Inquiry
Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 22:01:06 -0400
Dear Beth,
Thanks for the fast response, and for the explanation. You have armed me with knowledge.
One tip for you: if you suggest Googling Image Searches, you should recommend the "Safe Search On" option. Boy howdy! One of the first images to pop up was one of a young lady, presumably of Bavarian descent, practicing the art of douching, employing the douching techniques and douche apparatus. She harkened back to Johnny Bench, the instumental cog in that Big Red Machine of the 1970's.
My sons, Timmy and Teddy walked past and caught an eyeful. Let's just say, we're caught up, if not way ahead of schedule on those dreaded "talks." When they take driver's ed, they'll have clearance to use the term.
Thanks again--you've been helpful.
Jerry
P.S. : To submit my comments, your site required me to select a product. I selected "Island Splash" Douche. That seemed like it would be very refreshing.
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