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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Post # 148 - Chex Mix Has No Nutritional Value and Rhonda is Fake - 4/29/2010

Dear General Mills,

When I look at a box of Chex, I see 10 to 25 percent of most of the important vitamins and minerals. When I look at your Chex Mix package, I see 2 percent of calcium, protein, and iron. Nutritionally void. I get more vitamins and minerals when I accidentally swallow a mosquito while running at dusk.

I get it. Chex is cereal, competing against Product 19, Special K, Total. And other fortified cereals. Chex Mix is a snack, competing against Cheetos, Potato Chips, popcorn, and other nutritionally void foods. By cutting the fat content, you’re a healthier alternative. As a result, the bean counters at General Mills probably said “let’s pad the profit margin and cut out the nutrients.” Let’s lower our standards to those around us.

I know. People shouldn’t be relying on snack foods for nutrition. People should eat balanced meals, low in fat, high in fiber, with all of the vital vitamins and minerals. Households with two working parents, or a single mom and a deadbeat dad, send Tommy to school with a Pop Tart for breakfast, and a five-spot for lunch Tommy orders hot lunch in the cafeteria, that consists of chicken nuggets, tater tots, and a room temperature peach wedge in heavy syrup.

Wouldn’t it be nice if Chex Mix picked up some of the slack when Tommy gets home from school? Maybe a little Vitamin A for eyesight and growth. B1 for nervous system, digestion, muscles, and heart. B2 for skin, nails, hair, sensitive lips and tongue, eyesight, the breakdown of protein, fat and carbohydrate. B12 for making red blood cells, and the formation of the nerves. Vitamin C for immune system, healing wounds, reducing cholesterol, , preventing scurvy. Vitamin D and calcium for bones and teeth. Vitamin E for fighting toxins. Iron for blood cells, and immunity.

Maybe throw in a little more fiber, so Tommy doesn’t have to push so hard.

What’s it cost you? A nickel or dime per bag to fortify it? A nickel or time to launch Chex Mix as the elite nutritional snack?

Otherwise, what’s the motivation not to buy fortified generic cereal that looks and tastes a lot like Chex, and make my own mix?



Date: Fri, 30 Apr 2010 12:59:40 -0500
Subject: Your Response From "General Mills" - 2010/04/30-0568 ZRS

Dear Jerry:

Thank you for contacting General Mills. Your comments are important to us.

We are committed to making a difference in the lives of our consumers. Feedback such as yours is important to the nature of our business.

We appreciate your loyalty and the time you took to contact us. Please be assured that we will share your thoughts with the appropriate individuals.


Rhonda Short
Consumer Services

Subject: RE: Your Response From "General Mills" - 2010/04/30-0568 ZRS
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 2010 23:55:55 -0400

Dear Rhonda,

I think you're a robot, or a fictitious character, invented to send robotic responses to people's concerns, comments, observations, and questions. "Short" may stand for "Short, prefabricated, formy response to your concern. Back in June of last year, you responded as follows, to a letter that I wrote about Bac*O Bits. Mind you, the letter was more positive than my Chex Mix letter, hence the more positive forminess.

Dear Jerry:

Thank you for contacting General Mills regarding Betty Crocker Bac*O Bits. We appreciate the time you have taken to share your positive feedback with us. We will be very happy to pass on your comments to the product team.

We are committed to creating the highest quality products for our consumers. Feedback such as yours helps us achieve this goal for the future.

We appreciate your loyalty and hope you continue to enjoy our products.


Rhonda Short

Consumer Services

Does that sound familiar? I lectured you back then about phoning it in. I'm lecturing you now about the same thing.

Stop phoning it in! I'm assuming I won't hear anything back from those appropriate individuals. I'm assuming I won't hear back from you, unless I activate the correct subroutine in the General Mills supercomputer, which seems pointless, since it's a wall constructed from form letters. I'm assuming the General Mills factories will continue to pump out the same nutritionally devoid Chex Mix for the masses.

Since this is probably our last correspondence, have a nice life. That is, if you're real.


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