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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Post #31 - Response to the Bubba Slappee Who Took Offense to Post #18 - 10/8/2009

This note came from an anonymous person. It speaks all about status quo, and accepting bad service. The personal stuff didn't bother me. The "buy another one" part did, in light of how the first one was handled.

I can just see you now, sitting there all alone in your 1 bedroom apartment. The room void of light except for that streaming from your 1989 Dell Tinitron monitor that takes up your entire work space. I'm going to let the world know how crass and frugal I am through a pathetic attempt at humor.

You sit there typing away with a clever smirk on your face. You feel bold behind a computer screen. You've never actually spoken to a woman in real life, and this is your chance to feel liberated and give Melissa a piece of your mind.

You think you letter is so witty that maybe they will actually take you seriously, or better yet, put your letter up on their website for the world to see.

You don't see the flaw in taking 4 hours of your time to write Bubba Keg a letter. It would make too much sense for you could take 5 minutes and drive to the store, drop the amount of money it would cost for a Happy Meal, and be the proud owner of a brand spankin new Bubba Keg. Oh wait, that would entail speaking to Wendy the check out girl.

Bubba Luva
Here is my response, also sent 10/9/2009

Dear Anonymous Person,

You paint quite a picture with all of your clever imagery--somebody was clearly on the receiving end of an A in Sophomore Composition. You brush with a mighty broad stroke, but surprisingly accurate. You missed on a couple of things though. It's a 1992 Super VGA monitor, a 2 room apartment (there's a small kitchenette and dining nook), and I have a mom and a sister and a niece so that's three women with whom I have talked. I can't afford a chair so I stand and type. And I can use the express lane to avoid Wendy, even though her perfume smells real nice. I just clam up when I'm around her.

In your anonymous note, you call my letter both crass and frugal, which I find to be a killer one-two punch. I respect your opinion that my attempt at humor is pathetic, and I'm sure you're not alone on this. Nonetheless, you seem to be equal parts bitter toward me, and impassioned about Bubba Keg. I wish I had your passion about something--anything. Are you president of the Bubba Keg Facebook Superfan Page?

You also mention how "you think you letter is so witty...yada yada...put it on their site for all to see." That would be a real treat. Can you make that happen, since you clearly work at the Bubba Keg Factory, on the new and improved design that doesn't pee on its consumers?

Let's talk about pathetic. I'm fine with everything you say, even the personal stuff, in your "I'm-bitter-toward-you-for-pointing-out-something-bad-about-Bubba-Keg" note. Everything except this: "It would make too much sense for you to drive to the store, drop the amount of money it would cost for a Happy Meal, and be the proud owner of a brand spanking new Bubba Keg." As someone with fifteen years of experience in the consumer field, both in design and quality, I take great offense to that. When you design a product, like, say, a coffee mug, you are supposed to take every function and potential failure into account. You are supposed to verify that design with testing. You have checks in place on your assembly line to prevent defects. You take the all-too-important customer feedback (positive and negative) and share it with the entire team, so they can keep doing the good things and fix the flaws. You "make it right" with the customer, because their word-of-mouth voice is your best or worst advertisement. Protect the customer, Bubba Luva, PROTECT THE CUSTOMER!

My mug was poorly designed. I took the time (4 hours, according to you) to share my feedback with In-Zone. In Melissa's reply, did you see any apology? All I saw was "you can go without your mug for 6 weeks while we send you a replacement lid, that we should have given you in the first place if we designed it right". Does it really take six weeks to take care of a dissatisfied customer? I offered to provide any info they needed about my mug, so they could just ship me the correct lid, to avoid interrupted service. I never heard back. Did Melissa and the fine team at In-Zone really protect the customer? I think not.

So your solution is to reward In-Zone and pad their bottom line by purchasing a second crappy mug. The same people designed this one--what if the handle falls off? I can hear the people now--"Serves you right--you bought a second one". No thanks. Your solution leaks worse than my turd-with-a-handle mug.

Do you work at the Bubba Keg Factory? I hope not--you're too big of a Bubba Keg Slappee. If you did, you'd know that my leaky gasket mug cost me at least $10, and a Happy Meal costs roughly half of that, depending on whether you order milk or a soft drink. But then, I’d only know what a Happy Meal costs if I had kids, which would require talking to a girl.

My letter communicated a real problem to Bubba Keg. I stand behind what I wrote.

Stay Classy!


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