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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Post # 134 - Family Tradition: Bugles 4/1/2010

Dear Buglefolk,

When I was knee-high to a grasshopper, a very great man introduced me to all of my favorite snack foods. One of those was Bugles. I was able to stick them on my five-year-old fingers and pretend I was Edward Scissorhands.

Fast-forward 25 years. I’m no longer a carefree 11-year-old listening to Def Leppard, visiting Grandpa H in Toledo. He died from lung cancer in 1984, leaving Bugles, Doritos, Little Debbies, Snickers, and Coke products as reminders.

I am now the father of two. They still hold me in high esteem. When I introduce something like a new snack food, it’s because I know they’ll feel the same way I did when Grandpa H introduced it to me. That makes me feel good.

Snack foods can bridge several generations. My Grandfather (rest in peace) thought enough of Bugles to introduce them to me. I thought enough of Bugles, and my Grandfather, to introduce them to my kids. I thought enough of my Grandfather to show my son his photograph. I told a story about what a great man he was. I poured a bowl of bugles.

My son couldn’t fit them on his fingers.

When I was a kid, Andy Capp made Bugles. General Mills made Wheaties. Now, General Mills makes everything. Everything, that is, except Bugles that kids can fit on their fingers. When you put Andy out of work, you took all of his tools and secrets. All except the tools and secrets that make the Bugle end round.

When you look at a Bugle, do you see flattened openings? The music would be flat. No? Same for my son, trying to be Edward Scissorhands. Unacceptable.

When Andy Capp made these things, the comic strip on the bag was horrible. The snack in the bag was perfect. Round ends for kids to stick on their fingers. Now, the people who make my morning Wheaties, make my Bugles. And they fit my son’s fingertips much the same as the Wheaties.

It seams that somewhere in the transition from small company to Big Tobacco Conglomerate; you collectively lost sight of the customer. The child. Children fantasize about scissoring with their hands. Some grown-ups do as well. You’ve taken that dream and crushed it with your big boot like a cigarette. Oh wait—you’re Big Tobacco.

And that killed my Grandpa too.


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  1. That is bound to make someone feel like crap. And I am disappointed in Bugles even though I don't eat them.

  2. Thanks Shondira. They didn't care enough to respond though.

    You should try the Caramel Bugles. They're mighty tasty.

  3. Two things:

    1) I just found your blog and I love it. Thanks for being here.

    2) Caramel Bugles are fantastic! I think I need to buy a bag on the way home from work today.

  4. Thanks for the support Justin!

    My problem with the Caramel Bugles is the fact that I can eat a whole bag in one sitting, and a bag has about 300 grahams of fat.