Post# 294 - Arby's - What's With The Right Hand Drive Through?

Dear Arby’s,

I was extremely disappointed with a recent visit to one of your restaurants.  As I drove through the drive through, I realized your window was on the right side of my car, some five plus feet away.  With my foot on the brake, it’s virtually impossible to reach your cashier with my $6.83 in small bills and coins, without putting my car in park, unbuckling my seat belt, and straddling my shifter—HAY-OH!

Let’s look at it this way.  I’m smart enough to put the car in park before taking my foot off the brake.  I’ve an Arby’s customer fill an entire 16 ounce cup full of Horsey Sauce.  When I asked him why, he said, “I’ve got family flying in from out of town.”  Let’s say I pull up after our little transaction, and Horsey Sauce Guy is behind me.  He takes his foot off the brake to reach your cashier.  I’m sitting there, seat belt still off, sorting through my food items when….WHAM!  Rear ended.  You just put me at risk.

Are you trying to put people at risk?  Are you more concerned about the aesthetics and flow of your restaurant than the safety and convenience of your drive-through patrons?  Are we, your loyal customers, collateral damage in a war against convention and logic?

By making us reach, are you trying to evolve the human species to have a much longer right arm for some future purpose?  Maybe a longterm plan to convert all of your restaurants over to the more cost effective Righty Drive Through, all so your stock rises a quarter point?

Please Explain!

Jerry
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Their response, dated 6/1/12:

Dear Mr. Jerry,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding the problem you encountered with your recent visit to one of our restaurants. We share your concern and frustration with the incident you encountered, and sincerely regret any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Please be assured that, at Arby's, quality and consumer satisfaction are our highest priorities. Thanks to consumers like you and the information you provide, we are better able to trace the source of a problem and take any actions that may be necessary to resolve it. We have shared your comments with our Facilities Management team so that this could be taken into account for future consideration. We are going to mail you 2 VIP cards (each valid for a free combo meal) to invite you back to one of our restaurants.

Once again, our apologies for your inconvenience and I hope we can continue to consider you a valued customer.

Sincerely,

Stella

Arby's Customer Relations 

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Soon after, I received in the mail, two coupons for free combination meals.

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Post# 257 - Arby's is NOT Good Mood Food

I sent this to Arby's on 8/27/2011:

Dear Arby's,

I don't normally frequent the fast food places.  Heck--last time I stepped foot in a Burger King, President Carter was giving a speech about hostages in Iran.

Back on the 4th of July, I was feeling downright patriotic.  What better way to celebrate my independence than to order a Jamoca Shake and some Curly Fries, and light a special patriotic floating lantern.

My son is off in Afghanistan.  My daughter was away for her summer semester in Kentucky.  My wife decided to go to her Zumba class.  Happy 4th for me.  So it's me, my lawn chair, my floating lantern, my Arby's, and a lighter.

I light the floating lantern, and it takes flight.  It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, flying so effortlessly.  For a moment, I was floating above all of my problems, right along with that lantern.  That is, until it descended onto a gas pump at the station behind my house.  LOUD EXPLOSION.  A Volkswagen Bug, next to the pump, is thrust airborne and lands on (through?) my roof.   The car, engulfed in flames, proceeded to cause my home to go up in flames.  I called the fire department and ran around to the gas station to see if anyone needed help.   Luckily, the car owner had gone inside for a pack of smokes and some cashews.  Nobody was hurt.

As the fire fighters extinguished my home and water-damaged my baseball card collection, art, and safe full of savings bonds, there was nothing I could do.  The police came and issued a ticket because I violtated some airborn pyrotechnic safety regulation.  The Volkswagen owner found me and started talking lawyers and lawsuits.  To top it all off, she's a PETA rep and planning to report me because of the nest of baby sparrows in the gutter on my house, now encased in flames.

With nothing else I could do, I sat down and ate my fries and drank my milk shake.  As I sat there eating Arby's and computing in my head the hundreds of thousands of dollars that my precious floating lantern had cost me, I decided that Arby's is definitely NOT good mood food.

I guess my point is, not everyone can just jump into a good mood because of some horsey sauce or an apple turnover.  Your commercial suggests otherwise.  So there's that.

Sincerely,

Jerry

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Subject: Arby's Feedback #444443
Date: Saturday, August 27, 2011, 12:40 PM

Dear Arby's Guest,

We have received your Guest Feedback message and are directing it to the appropriate department. For follow-up purposes, your feedback tracking number is 444443.

Your feedback helps us improve the overall guest experience at our restaurants. Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Sincerely,
Arby's Guest Feedback Team
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My follow-up, sent 9/13/2011:

Dear Arby's,

It's been over two weeks now.  No response.  Good Mood Food, Huh? 

Maybe I'm the 444443rd person in line.  I'll wait, I guess.

Jerry
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Post #8 - Qdoba and Life In My Band, Cold Gravy

My note to Qdoba, sent 3/9/2009:

Dear Qdoba,

I am the bassist and backing vocalist in a tribute blues band, Cold Gravy. We play cover versions of the collective works of Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, and B.B. King. We also do one Sir-Mix-A-Lot song. Our budget is tight. Our overhead minimal, and as you can imagine, life on the road can make the pants a little tight.

I drive the equipment truck, with my sidekick, Mullins the Chimp. He eats what I eat. He helps unload and load equipment. Mullins sets up and takes down the drum kit. When Mullins is unhappy, the rest of the band is unhappy. He has started and finished more than one bar fight, and has served as my best man thrice.

When I’m on the road, I like to eat healthy, and as inexpensively as possible. That leaves only one true choice. I eat Qdoba every night for dinner. Generally, I build-a-burrito. I normally go chicken, black bean, verde, fajita vegetables, and sour cream. Once in a while, I swap pico for verde and cheese for sour cream. Regardless, I LOVE QDOBA.

Every trip involves a struggle with Mullins. Mullins loves Arby’s. Let’s make a piece of leather on a bun taste better with some horsy sauce. Whatever. As a compromise, I eat nearly every lunch there, and order Mullins a deli sandwich for his dinner. Yesterday I found my window to convert Mullins. Mullins had a bad sandwich experience. BAD!

I seized the opportunity—I had the workers at this particular Qdoba make a beef burrito with black beans, pico, fajita vegetables, and sour cream. I handed it to a dejected Mullins. First bite: SUCCESS!!!!! Mullins did a happy chimp dance. I thought to myself “YES! No more Arby’s. I can double down on Qdoba twice a day now. Next bite, to the left of the first bite: “NO!” All rice and sour cream. And so it went. “YES!” “NO!”

The final verdict was no. The stuff inside the burrito wasn’t mixed. Picture a high school dance. Girls (meat, beans and sauce) on one side, and boys (rice, cilantro, and sour cream) on the other side. The two never meet. An opportunity missed. Cold showers, the creepy room at the video store with the naughty tapes, and eventually, a truck stop arrest. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it 100 times. Come to think of it, I’ve had this burrito phenomenon happen before, and at other Adobe locations.

A normal burrito is long and thin. Your (don’t get me wrong) delicious burritos are more “squarish”. The long thin design lends itself more to diversity in each bite. Your burritos, while absolutely delicious, sometimes feel like that awkward dance--rice on the left, flavor on the right. As I look at the long thin burrito on your website, I think to myself “Sweet Baby Jesse, I’ve never had a Qdoba burrito that was that long and thin.” Misleading, to say the least.

Anyway, Mullins told me I’m off Qdoba, and I have to eat Arby’s from now on, or else he stops doing roadie work. He’s kind a got me in a tight spot. Can you help me here? Are the workers “doing it wrong?” Is there a mix-it-up procedure? Does Sir Mix-a-Lot enjoy your products? Any assistance that you can provide is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Jerry
Uninspired Bass Player and Backing Vocalist
Cold Gravy, the Ultimate Blues Experience
“Not a Dry Eye in the House”
Available for Weddings, Birthdays, and all Special Occasions
(734)XXX-XXXX
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From: guest.relations@jackinthebox.com
Subject: Qdoba / 100067222
Date: Mon, 9 Mar 2009 21:32:56 -0700

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for your e-mail regarding your visit to Qdoba #2562. I apologize for the problems you experienced with your recent order and have addressed your concerns with the appropriate restaurant management. I would be happy to send you a complimentary certificate, which you can use at any of our participating restaurants. If this is acceptable, please provide your mailing address. If you would like to discuss this matter further, please contact our Guest Relations department at 1-888-497-3622, and refer to report #100067222. Our representatives are available Monday through Friday, 7am to 4pm PT.

Sincerely,

Brad L.

Qdoba Guest Relations
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To: guest.relations@jackinthebox.com
Subject: RE: Qdoba / 100067222
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:06:19 -0400

Brad,

Thank you for your help on this. That would be acceptable. I just hope they can make them more consistent, like the picture, at all the locations. For Mullins' sake. By the way, your email address suggests that you also manage Jack-in-the-Box. You're a multitasker!

Sincerely,

Jerry

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