This is the first of many letters to President Clinton. I had heard that it is difficult to get the Presidential Autograph. I thought I'd give it a try. This is as close to acting as I come. I sort of “became” a rambling third grader.
Dear President Clinton,
My name is Jerry. I’m a third grader. I voted for you in my class role model election. When I grow up, I will be President just like you. Did any Japanese people thank you when we gave them money after that earthquake? My mom always said you should write a nice note when someone gives you something nice or fancy.
In Social Studies Class I am doing my report on fixing the defisit. Its big. Heres my idea. I think we should tax the homeless people. Whenever daddy drives through the big city, they ask him for his money. He wont do it because he says they probably make more than he does. Besides once he bought a rolex watch from this guy and it turned his skin green in the shower.
I did a math problem to figure out a way to be fair. If there are 7 million homeless, we could tax them by the size of there box. At one dollar per square foot, and the average box is 8 square feet, that is (7,000,000 people x 1 dollar x 8 square feet) = 56 million dollars a year. That’s a lot of money. What do you think? I need information from you for my report. What would be neat is a nice fancy autograph picture to show my class and also Joey when I see him. So please tell me what you think. Please send an autograph.
P.S. What do you think of dogs?
Mother’s Note: Jerry’s Step-Father and I question his idea. He wrote George Bush when he was in kindergarten, and got an autographed picture. Is there any way you could do this for him? Thank you.