To: Mojo at Mojo Outdoors
Sent: 08/02/2009 9:45 PM
Subject: Defective Hawk Decoy
Dear Mojo Outdoors,
I am the owner of a small Chihuahua named Mitzy. We live in hawk territory, and potty time outside looks a lot like happy hour. Hawks gather and salivate, if indeed they have salivary glands. They want to snap up my little Mitzy and take her away.My logic told me to “get a hawk decoy”. This would tell the hawk that this property is “taken”, and to move on to the next plot. At first, it worked great. No hawks. My Mitzy could do her business and prance in the grass at her leisure.
However, every day, around 5:00, he comes around. With buddies. It started as 3 or 4. Now, there are roughly 16 to 20 hawks, every day. They hover around the decoy. They show off. They do fancy dances. They fight. They sneak up behind and make lewd gestures and simulate offensive things. It’s like happy hour. We are God-fearing people. This is offensive!
I think all the lewd hawk activity is wearing the batteries down faster too.
It’s almost like the hawk decoy that I bought is defective. Maybe it’s a girl one. Have you heard of anything like this before? Can I get a replacement?
Sincerely,
Jerry(And Mitzy)
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To: Mojo at Mojo Outdoors
Subject: Re: Defective Hawk Decoy
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 2009 10:08:41 -0500
Jerry- The Mojo Hawk was not designed to be a HAWK deterrent,but rather a deterrent of birds that hawks prey on. It has been our experience that it attracts hawks.I have not explored your theory of Hawk having a claimed territory and this well may be true.I would take it down for a while and see what happens. The local Hawks may be getting too used to it. Keep me informed. This is very interesting. Give Mitzy my best. MC
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Subject: RE: Defective Hawk Decoy
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 13:12:17 -0500
From: Terry at Mojo Outdoors
To: Shiela, MC, Josh and Chuck at Mojo Outdoors
Jerry:
Weather or not your email was submitted in earnest, something, to say the least, subject to suspect, we are somewhat at a lost to know what to say. However, we can arrive at two conclusions which might offer you some insight (with the weak assumption that you desire any) :
First, spinning wing hawk decoys do in fact attract hawks. We use them in predator hunting and they will often attract other hawks. To deter hawks, one would probably need a predatory bird to the hawk. I do not know what that is, maybe a eagle or California Condor ? ? ? They are designed to scare smaller birds to which the hawk would be a predator, and as a "finishing device" for calling of coyotes.
Second, if we sent you another hawk, it would be just like the first, as that is the only one we make. They are unisex. You could investigate a sex change operation for the one you have.
Nevertheless, we surely would like a video of all that you describe. If you could, and would, get us some footage, we would be very appreciative.
Thank you for your input ( I think ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ).
Terry
President & CEO
MOJO Outdoors
Dear Terry,
Congrats on your ascent to the top of the Mojo Hierarchy. Boy—your first sentence was a real mouthful. I had to re-read it a few times.
Attached is a photo of my rooftop from today’s “happy hour”. Lewd!
One thing I thought of—Marge gave our hawk some pink beak blush. That might be part of the problem. So maybe the sex change operation would work. But wouldn’t that then attract females? And nests and eggs and all the responsibilities that go with raising a hawk family?
In any case, if I climb up there, they aren’t going to be too happy. Do you have a giant condor decoy?
Sincerely,
Jerry and Mitzy
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Dear Shiela,
I need to ask you something. Are you related to Whitney Houston? She wrote the most amazing song about how the children are the future. It would make my day.
Thanks for admiring my picture. I used my f-stop on that one.
Things have gotten weird. Last week, I was pulling weeds. I had placed a half-full beer on the driveway, as I was pulling weeds. When I turned around, it was tipped over. It was empty. There was no beer puddle, which made me suspicious. I later caught one drinking my beer, through a straw.
Do Hawks drink? I've noticed, he's all over our decoy. She needs a breather now and again.
As an experiment, I filled our birdbath with Molson. They LOVE it. But they really take it out on our decoy. Unbelievable.
Any tips?
Jerry (and Mitzy)
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From: Shiela at Mojo Outdoors
Subject: Re: Defective Hawk Decoy
Date: Wed, 5 Aug 2009 07:53:56 -0500
Jerry, what state do you live in?
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To: Shiela at Mojo Outdoors
Sent: Wednesday, August 05, 2009 9:14 PM
Subject: RE: Defective Hawk Decoy
Sheila,
I live in Southeastern Michigan. Right near Lake Erie.
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From: Shieela at Mojo Outdoors
Subject: Re: Defective Hawk Decoy
Date: Thu, 6 Aug 2009 11:48:56 -0500
Oh, ok.... that was an amazing pic!....Did you have your hawk hanging from a tree?
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To: Shiela at Mojo Outdoors
RE: Defective Hawk Decoy
Date: Thu, 6 Aug 2009 23:51:10 -0400
Dear Shiela,
I need to ask you something. Are you related to Whitney Houston? She wrote the most amazing song about how the children are the future. It would make my day.
Thanks for admiring my picture. I used my f-stop on that one.
Things have gotten weird. Last week, I was pulling weeds. I had placed a half-full beer on the driveway, as I was pulling weeds. When I turned around, it was tipped over. It was empty. There was no beer puddle, which made me suspicious. I later caught one drinking my beer, through a straw.
Do Hawks drink? I've noticed, he's all over our decoy. She needs a breather now and again.
As an experiment, I filled our birdbath with Molson. They LOVE it. But they really take it out on our decoy. Unbelievable.
Any tips?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Shiela sent a blank email in response--sort of an "I'm acknowledging your note, but I get it now".
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