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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Post #26 - War on Spam - mr. Frank Volume 4 - 6/29/2009

Re: FW: Sorry For My Late Responce

From: Mr. Frank
Sent: Mon 6/29/09 4:50 AM

Hello Jerry,

Thanks for your mail, kindly get back to me with the below informations to enable us proceed, as we are short of time.

{1} Bank Name:............. ..........
{2} Bank Address.....................
{3} Account No:.......................
{4} Swift Code...{if any}
{5} Account Holder's Name: ....................
{6} Tel. Nos...................

I wait for your mail soon.
My response to mr. Frank, 6/29/2009

RE: Sorry For My Late Responce

Dear mr. Frank,

Why are you prolonging this transaction? I’ve given you all of the other info, except the bank account name and account number. Stop asking for the same info over and over!

As you are aware, I have a screening process. You are in the process of unlocking the bank code. The second of six questions is:

Tell me about your most embarrassing moment.

This should be simple. Mine involved my ten speed bike, a ramp, an on-looking cub scout troop, and a truck filled with cotton crossing a bridge over a lake of fire.

Please hurry!


Lance E. Antsyinmypantsy
My follow-up to mr. Frank, sent 6/30/2009

RE: Sorry For My Late Responce

Dear mr. Frank,

I hope life is going well for you. I’m feeling charitable today. I’ll tell you why in a minute. The second digit to my account is “4”.

I caught a strange but lucky break yesterday. That cricket, which was chirping over and over at night, drove me bonkers. I crushed it with my shoe. The manager of our shelter heard me. Being an animal lover, she hollered at me and kicked me out of the shelter with only a PB and J.

So I started singing. Right there in front of the shelter, which was adjacent to the Opera House. A local record producer’s wife was walking out of the opera house with her husband. They heard me singing. She told her husband that he should give me a recording contract!

I’m in the studio today, working on my debut single! It goes like this:

What’s the cream-cream creamiest spread there is? (Peanut Butter).
It goes well with jelly, like no other. (Peanut Butter).
The little kids like it in their lunch.
Come on now silly, you have a hunch. (Peanut Butter).

Erwin Rommel pops up from his tanks
Just to give Mrs. Rommel many thanks.
He can’t get over his lunch box.
He’s the one, the Desert Fox (Peanut Butter).

Jesse Jackson, Madonna, Bono too.
They eat it, and they all love you.
Cronkite, and Rather ate it between news takes.
But not that Brokaw—he liked steaks. (Peanut Butter).

I’m still working on it. Can you help me come up with a title? I’ll give you co-writing credits. Also, tell me about that embarrassing moment! I’ll unlock the 3rd digit. Whenever you get a chance (we have time)—I’m pretty busy right now.


Lance E. Antsyinmypantsy

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1 comment:

  1. I usually tell Mr. Frank not to be a bureaucrat and send me cash.