I sent this on 3/17/2009, after a nice visit.
Dear Castaway Bay,
I love your Water Park and hotel, located in the nearby city of Sandusky, Ohio. As the part-owner of a taxidermy and build-a-bear workshop, I work a lot of hours--I need my downtime! When my family and I need a not-too-far-away getaway, you know where we go. That’s right—we hit the “Bay”. I know every nook and cranny of every one of your slides, and navigate them with the precision of a skilled surgeon. I love the fact that Peanuts characters hover around your lobby like dancing Statue of Liberties and Ben Franklin's outside accountant offices during tax season. Where else, but the Castaway Bay Gift Shop, can one find a Franklin or Violet stuffed character? Incredible!
Let's get down to business--life isn't all about stuffed animals and water slides! As your guest in Room 439 on March 6 through 8, I think you know exactly why I am contacting you. As you know, my family and I spent $218.00, plus applicable state and local taxes, for two days. It seems that March 6 through 8 was a “spring forward one hour” weekend. As a result, I was undersold by one hour. This means that I missed out on one of my sleep hours in your closest-to-the-window bed, in the safety and comfort of room 439. I must say, I feel a little cheated. I believe the annual spring forward weekend was implemented by the hotel and tuxedo rental industries to save themselves millions of dollars.
Don’t get me wrong—we had a blast. The slides were slippery, the water was warm, the wave pool was wavy, and the giant bucket “got me” again. When will I learn? It’s like a 300 gallon colonic. I helped Angela, 15, of Aurora, locate her contact lense in the wave pool--this was no small task. It took about a half hour. Because the water was so clean, the lens was free of scratches. Nice job on the water filtration. Give everybody a pat on the back.
Back in the room, the people on my floor, and I had a great time. First, like any great castaway team, my floor formed a government. Randy from 444 was nominated as our President. He coordinated a progressive party—each room had a different food item or non-alcoholic beverage. His Alternate, Dan (from Dan and Tina in 441) served the best New Orleans-style “dirty rice” I think I have ever had. I had three helpings. Steve in 449 was a retired circus clown, so he entertained all of the kids with his squirting flower routine. As the floor "elder", he also taught the children how to tie various knots--square, clove hitch, and bowline, to name a few. We had an Electric Football Tourney in 454 with Peter and Kristin. I won an autographed, life-size cardboard cut-out of Jack Wagner (from TV's General Hospital and Melrose Place).
And our Treasurer, Stacy, in 433 managed to bring in most of the members of REO Speedwagon for an unplugged midnight performance. Russ from 452 is a drummer, so he sat in with the band. In the morning, we all enjoyed some Cuban pastries and bagels with cream cheese, courtesy of Brian and Connie in 440, and some fresh fruit, from Vince in 455. All except Tim from 448, who missed 8:15 roll call, and had to run a lap around the parking lot. We saved him some breakfast though. A great time was had by all! When it was over, we agreed to reunite this 4 th of July at a nearby park in Sandusky.
Back to the matter at hand though—life isn’t all about free concerts, Jack Wagner replicas, and continental breakfasts! I feel that you owe me 1/48 th of my total bill, less applicable state and local taxes. That works out to $4.54 by my math, which at times, has been questionable (just ask Sister Josephus from high school). Sincerely,
Tenant, Room 439.
PS--would you have any interest in the Jack Wagner replica? I am willing to donate it, for the cost of shipping.
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