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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Post # 101 - War on Spam: Doctor Diarrhea and His Nemesis Gus Doseflushington

I have to take a mulligan on this one.  I misread the dude's name. 
Date: Tue, 9 Feb 2010 09:45:07 -0800


Good Day,

Confidential Business Proposal!!

I am Dr, Lassine Diawara the senior Auditor In charge of Foreign Remittance Unit of our bank and i decided to contact you for this financial transaction worth Fiveteen-Five million Dollars ( $ 15.5Million) for our present and future success.

This is an abandoned fund that belongs to one of our bank foreign customers who died along with his entire family through plane crash in Setember 2007.You can see the website link below.

Meanwhile i was very fortunate to come across the deceased file when I was arranging the old and abandoned customers files in other to sign and submit to the entire bank management an official re-documentation and to the law imposed by the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said in World Press Confrerence on Tuesday 6 december 2005 at 12:18 GMT

For more information about the prime Minister decision on dormant accounts:


audit of the year against 2006.informed clearly that it was stated in our foreign banking rules and regulations which was signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed till the period of 3 years started from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the Government treasury as an unclaimed fund.

However, it is not authorized by the rules guiding our bank for a citizen of Burkina Faso to make the claim of the fund unless you are a foreigner, no matter the country you come from. So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the next of kin to the deceased.

I shall provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. I need your assistance and co-operation to this reality as I have done my Home-work and fine tune the best way to create you as the beneficiary of the fund. My position as the senior auditor of the bank will be used to advance this deal.

After the end of the business, We shall agree that { 35% } Thirty -Five Percent will be for you in respect of all your assistance for this transaction and { 10% } Will be for the incurred expenses that will be made, then { 55% } Fifty- Five Percent will be for me being the pioneer of the business . If you are really sure of your, Trust worthiness, Accountability and confidentiality on this transaction, contact me and accept not to change your mind to cheat, or disappoint me when the deposited funds is released to you by our bank.

I will like you to provide immediately the below informations, So reply for the assurance with this necessary informations to facilitate an easy communication.

1.Full Name:...........................
2.Full Address:......................
3.Telephone number :.........
4.Country :.............................

As soon as you reply , you notify me so that i will let you know the next steps and procedures to follow in order to finalize this transaction immediately,

I expect your urgent communication.

Yours sincerely ,

Dr Lassine Diawara
Senior Auditor Foreign Remittance Unit.
Bank Of Africa (BOA)
Date: Tue, 9 Feb 2010 22:45:28 -0500

Dear Doctor Diarrhea,

I appreciate this opportunity. To me, you are like royalty--we should place you on a throne. To borrow a phrase from a card game called poker, which is very popular in the United States: to come into this much money in these difficult times is a royal flush.

Before I answer your questions, I have a few for you.

You are indeed the pioneer, and worthy of 55%. Is this ingenuity a learned trait, or one that runs in the family?

What percentage of your assets are liquid?


Gus Doseflushington
Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 06:14:34 -0500

Dr. Diarrhea,

You never responded. I'm assuming you were still digesting my note.

Here is my info:
1.Full Name:. Gus Doseflushington
2.Full Address: 77 Crackawindo Circle, Immodium, WI 22220
3.Telephone number : I have elected to not own one.
4.Country : USA
5.Occupation: Proctologist's Assistant
6. Age: 23
7.Sex: Male
Let's get moving.

Subject: Go through the details for your understanding
Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:03:43 +0000

Dear Mr Gus,

I acknowledge with many thanks the receipt of your mail and the content therein. however, as I earlier stated, am a staff at the same bank (BANK OF AFRICA) were I discovered the sum of $15.5 (fifteen million, five hundred thousand USD) belonging to one of our Late customers Mr. George W. Brumley who died in a plane crash with all his family members members on sunday 16, september , 2007 in a plane crash in Thailand, leaving nobody behind to put claim over his balance left in his domiciliary bank account here at the bank.

Please visit this site that is one of the evidence that I brought in other to swallow the money at the end of the day,

I wish to remind you that this project is a mutual business opportunity which will profit you and I. It is only by togetherness and joint effort that we can make this transfer a success. I am given you my word that soonest the sky will be our limit.

I want to bring to your notice that, I am not doing this business because of the huge sum involve but because it is 100% safe and risk free for both parties, so I am assuring you triple fold that this business is not kids play at all. The fund for transfer is of non drug,terrorist or criminal related,

{INHERITANCE} is not a crime all over the World, a day old baby can inherit as you know even a deaf & dump and the blind can as well Inherit.They can not talk nor even read but Documents and only documents will talk and say for them.The difference in countries of origin,names,religion does not matter.

Feel free to ask me any question you need to know concerning this transaction

Below is my complete information:

(1) NAME: Dr Lassine Diawara
(2) AGE: 50
(3) PLACE OF BIRTH: Ouagadougou .
(4) HEIGHT: 1.75
(5) WEIGHT: 84 kg , Not Permanent.
(6) SEX: Male.
(7) QUALIFICATION: M.B.A in Economics And P. H. D in Banking and Finance Awarded
(8) OCCUPATION: Banker.
(9) WORKING EXPERIENCE :( T.I.C) Insurance Banjul Gambia & Presently In (Boa) Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso.
(10) MARITAL STATUS: Married With 3 Children.

On receipt of strong assurance from you I will send you a draft withdrawal application form which you will send to my bank for final transfer instructions, This project will be completed within 7 to 21 banking days if you can speedy up action.

You need to speedy actions because we are about conducting our first quarter revision of files in my bank for Audition,and if there is no claim for this fund; other people may discover the fund during our next audit. And i don't want the FUND to be discovered by the bank AUDITORS who are due to arrive next week to return it to the bank treasury as unclaimed bills.

I have all it takes to complete this project once you indicate your interest to work with me, All information of the decease customer is with me intact and i will forward all to you once the bank request for it,

I will give you the updates when I hear from you.  Pls keep this project as your top secret to protect our interests;  I look forward to your earliest response.  Iam waiting for your call once you receive the details

00226-75-45 83 60

Regards and thanks,

Dr Lassine Diawara
My response sent 2/11/2010:

Dear Dr. Diarrhea,

You had me at "deaf & dump and the blind can still inherit".  Let's push this one out while the ink is still a little wet.  I see you're one step ahead, having sent me an application separately.

Look, Dr. D.  I'm sort of a reverse technologist.  As a Proctologist's Assistant, I see a lot of things.  Telephones and technology are bad.  They emit electrical fields that cause cancer.  Also, as your partner, I should recommend high fiber and a monthly colonic.

Since I lack a fax, I've taken the liberty of filling out the form and emailing it back.  Let me know if there are any problems.  Pull up a stool and look it over.

Your Partner,

Gus Doseflushington

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