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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Post # 84 - Morningstar Farms Vegetarian Bacon - 2/21/2010

My friend Deanne brought this to my attention.  She posted a note about it on her blog, RealChick Chat, which I recommend.  Thanks Deanne!
Dear Morningstar Farms,

They said it couldn’t be done.

For centuries and civilizations, no one could break the four minute mile. Then one day, after a breakfast of biscuits and gravy, Roger Bannister limbered up and stuck his wet thumb in the proverbial cupcakes of all of mankind. Roger Bannister did it.

They said that only the wealthy could drive the horseless buggy. Not only did Henry Ford make the automobile accessible to the common man, he also revolutionized the assembly line and brought jobs to a new and booming industry. Henry Ford did it.

They said that no one could fly across the Atlantic in an airplane. In 1927, a young pilot, armed with five PB&J’s, flew to Paris. Charles Lindbergh did it.

They said that it would be impossible to derive bacon or bacon-like product out of vegetation. Well, the fine folks at Morningstar Farms said “just hold on a second”. Let’s mix egg whites, soybean oil with TBHQ, textured soy protein concentrate, modified corn starch, wheat gluten, hydrolyzed vegetable protein, with less than two percent of glycerin, salt, soy protein isolate, sodium citrate, sodium phosphate, sugar, and natural and artificial flavors. The result (drum roll)…..Morningstar didn’t do it.

It looks more like something my kids might produce with their Crayola crayon machine. I offered some to my dog—I think it offended her. She left me a "canine message" on the living room floor.

Was this like the US/Soviet race to the moon? Did you feel like you had to beat Jennie-O to some patents by rushing this product to the market? Are you still dialing in the taste and textures?

Did we learn nothing from Bac-O’s?

Look, true vegetarians wouldn’t be interested in something that was supposed to resemble a fatty cross-section of pig belly. Right? You thought about that, right?

I just wanted to give you another point of view. I’m not perfect either. None of us are. You do so many other things well—why not just focus on those?

I’ll leave you with two questions:

1) Who invented vegetarian bacon?
2) Does he or she have a dog?



Subject: Morningstar Farms® Consumer Affairs 020763173A
Date: Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:32:34 -0600


Thank you for letting us know how you feel about Morningstar Farms® Veggie Bacon Strips. We appreciate our consumers sharing their opinions with us.

Trying a new product is often a fun experience. We understand that you were looking forward to enjoying our breakfast products and are sorry to hear that this didn't measure up to your family's expectations. We are sending a coupon you can use towards the purchase of other products that you enjoy. Please allow 7-10 business days for delivery.

Our goal is to have our consumers enjoy every product we offer. However, we know that not all of our consumers will approve of the new foods or reformulations that we introduce. Thanks to comments like yours, we are able to continually improve our products. We appreciate your input and will share your remarks with our food development and marketing teams.

Again, thank you for the taking the time to share your views. We hope to keep you as a loyal consumer for many years to come.



Consumer Affairs Department



  1. So - let's don't like their product, so they send you coupons to buy more? Ah, well. Thanks for the heads-up as to this product. While I can't say I was planning on buying it, I can now say I do NOT plan on buying it!

  2. sAm,

    I have no room to talk--I once gave a granola bar to a homeless guy who soon revealed he had no teeth.

    Someone on my facebook page said that their sausage is actually very good. I'm going to try the sausage and send a follow-up.


  3. Angel,

    Thanks for the free samples. They didn't work. And now it hurts to pee.

    I don't recommend Angel's crappy viagra.