My note to Qdoba, sent 3/9/2009:
Dear Qdoba,
I am the bassist and backing vocalist in a tribute blues band, Cold Gravy. We play cover versions of the collective works of Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, and B.B. King. We also do one Sir-Mix-A-Lot song. Our budget is tight. Our overhead minimal, and as you can imagine, life on the road can make the pants a little tight.
I drive the equipment truck, with my sidekick, Mullins the Chimp. He eats what I eat. He helps unload and load equipment. Mullins sets up and takes down the drum kit. When Mullins is unhappy, the rest of the band is unhappy. He has started and finished more than one bar fight, and has served as my best man thrice.
When I’m on the road, I like to eat healthy, and as inexpensively as possible. That leaves only one true choice. I eat Qdoba every night for dinner. Generally, I build-a-burrito. I normally go chicken, black bean, verde, fajita vegetables, and sour cream. Once in a while, I swap pico for verde and cheese for sour cream. Regardless, I LOVE QDOBA.
Every trip involves a struggle with Mullins. Mullins loves Arby’s. Let’s make a piece of leather on a bun taste better with some horsy sauce. Whatever. As a compromise, I eat nearly every lunch there, and order Mullins a deli sandwich for his dinner. Yesterday I found my window to convert Mullins. Mullins had a bad sandwich experience. BAD!
I seized the opportunity—I had the workers at this particular Qdoba make a beef burrito with black beans, pico, fajita vegetables, and sour cream. I handed it to a dejected Mullins. First bite: SUCCESS!!!!! Mullins did a happy chimp dance. I thought to myself “YES! No more Arby’s. I can double down on Qdoba twice a day now. Next bite, to the left of the first bite: “NO!” All rice and sour cream. And so it went. “YES!” “NO!”
The final verdict was no. The stuff inside the burrito wasn’t mixed. Picture a high school dance. Girls (meat, beans and sauce) on one side, and boys (rice, cilantro, and sour cream) on the other side. The two never meet. An opportunity missed. Cold showers, the creepy room at the video store with the naughty tapes, and eventually, a truck stop arrest. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it 100 times. Come to think of it, I’ve had this burrito phenomenon happen before, and at other Adobe locations.
A normal burrito is long and thin. Your (don’t get me wrong) delicious burritos are more “squarish”. The long thin design lends itself more to diversity in each bite. Your burritos, while absolutely delicious, sometimes feel like that awkward dance--rice on the left, flavor on the right. As I look at the long thin burrito on your website, I think to myself “Sweet Baby Jesse, I’ve never had a Qdoba burrito that was that long and thin.” Misleading, to say the least.
Anyway, Mullins told me I’m off Qdoba, and I have to eat Arby’s from now on, or else he stops doing roadie work. He’s kind a got me in a tight spot. Can you help me here? Are the workers “doing it wrong?” Is there a mix-it-up procedure? Does Sir Mix-a-Lot enjoy your products? Any assistance that you can provide is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Jerry
Uninspired Bass Player and Backing Vocalist
Cold Gravy, the Ultimate Blues Experience
“Not a Dry Eye in the House”
Available for Weddings, Birthdays, and all Special Occasions
(734)XXX-XXXX
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From: guest.relations@jackinthebox.com
Subject: Qdoba / 100067222
Date: Mon, 9 Mar 2009 21:32:56 -0700
Dear Jerry,
Thank you for your e-mail regarding your visit to Qdoba #2562. I apologize for the problems you experienced with your recent order and have addressed your concerns with the appropriate restaurant management. I would be happy to send you a complimentary certificate, which you can use at any of our participating restaurants. If this is acceptable, please provide your mailing address. If you would like to discuss this matter further, please contact our Guest Relations department at 1-888-497-3622, and refer to report #100067222. Our representatives are available Monday through Friday, 7am to 4pm PT.
Sincerely,
Brad L.
Qdoba Guest Relations
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To: guest.relations@jackinthebox.com
Subject: RE: Qdoba / 100067222
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:06:19 -0400
Brad,
Thank you for your help on this. That would be acceptable. I just hope they can make them more consistent, like the picture, at all the locations. For Mullins' sake. By the way, your email address suggests that you also manage Jack-in-the-Box. You're a multitasker!
Sincerely,
Jerry
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I have found that most companies will send you coupons or vouchers when you write them a letter about a bad experience. It always pays to write a letter. Even when you write a positive letter, they might send coupons. Its a win-win situation. Of course, your letters are hilarious as well as functional.
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