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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Post # 115 - My Three Wishes for Tom Wilson as Prez and CEO of Ilitch Holdings - 2/22/2010

Tom Wilson used to be President of Palace Entertainment.  He recently jumped over to Illitch Holdings.

I wrote him several years back, and he responded.  That letter is HERE
Dear Mr. Wilson,

Congratulations on your new position as President and CEO of the Ilitch Organization.

You may remember several years ago, my complaint regarding the bathroom situation at the Palace of Auburn Hills during a Piston game. It seems that my situation was urgent, and many off the men’s restrooms were converted for the womenfolk. You responded nicely, with Piston tickets. You also suspected that my Emu Burger from the Moose Preserve might have been to blame.

Fast forward twelve years. You’re taking charge of my two favorite sports franchises, and reporting to a great man. I have three issues that need tackling.

First: if the Red Wings wind up with a new arena, please, please, please put in more restrooms. There’s nothing worse than an ill-timed restroom urge, similar to my Emu Burger episode. Such a visit could take half of a period. Restrooms everywhere--upper level, lower level, outside where the smokers dwell. Heck—leave room for a bank of porta-jons at the top of the upper bowl for the nose bleeders. More restrooms.

Second: please address the hot dog situation at Comerica Park. I remember as a kid, enjoying plump, juicy, steamed Ballpark Franks. Now, when I go to a game, I get these discolored, shriveled up wieners that look like they spun one too many times on the 7-Eleven rollers. And yes, the Hebrew Nationals are of better quality, but they’re mighty salty. Plump, juicy steamed hot dogs. Maybe do something special with the bun—bakery rolls or something. Why not give Detroit it’s own Signature Weiner?

Third: I miss the old organ at Tiger Stadium. Bring it back. I’m not saying get rid of all of the players’ salsa music, maybe intersperse it.

Lastly, I hope you negotiated a 1.25 percent raise. You’re working in the city now, and they tax. Also, they like handing out the parking tickets. You’ve been warned.

Good luck in the new position!


P.S. - Maybe also retire #11 before it’s too late. Pretty please.
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