Post # 66 - Barbie and Ken's Camper of Fornication 1-1-2010

A friend tipped me off about this little situation on New Year's Eve.  Thanks Dave!
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Dear Mattel,

Little Tina was asked to bring her favorite toy to the Saints Peter, Bartholomew, and John Parish Youth Group Overnight in the All-Purpose Room. Of course, she chose her favorite Christmas present—the Barbie Glamour Camper. She spends hours playing with Barbie and Ken as they have magical camping adventures with the My Little Pony gang. They chase magical unicorns and have pedicures.

Not an hour after we dropped Tina off, Minister Dan made me come pick her, along with her sinful toy. He showed me the exact issue: One camper, one sleeping bag, two opposite-sex adults with no wedding rings. He said “there’s no place at Saints PB & J for the Barbie Fornication Camper. He told us to stay “home and pray” for the next three Sundays, while they “review” our case. Yes—thanks to you, we now have a case.

What the hell were you thinking? Why not throw in a second sleeping bag, or a couple of wedding rings? Or even a photo of the wedding, with Bridal Barbie, Ken the Groom, Maid of Honor Skipper, and Best Man G.I. Joe? Would that have not allowed you to hit your price point? Would such a family-oriented step have dropped your profit by a quarter point?

In a way, I guess I owe you a big thank you. Thanks for forcing us to have a discussion with a six-year-old, that we were planning for her in 2015.

I’m disgusted and humiliated. I’m not appreciating the whispers as I walk through the grocery store. I’m not liking the “bad parent” label that I’ve been hastily given.

Can you explain this oversight or complete disregard for family values? What’s next? Barbie’s Brothel?

Sincerely,

Jerry
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Subject: In Reference to Case Number: 17764508
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 2010 13:27:05 -0500
From: ConsumerServiceCenter@Fisher-Price.com

Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate the time you have taken to share your thoughts with us.

A great deal of time has gone into the design and manufacture of this item and your disappointment with it concerns us. Consumer feedback is very important to us. We have forwarded your comments to the appropriate personnel here at Mattel for their interest.

We will work hard to merit your future support of our products.

Sincerely,

Mattel Consumer Relations
service.mattel.com
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My response, sent 1/2/2010

Dear Mattel,

Thank you for the form letter. You managed to use all of the customer support catch phrases:

     1) Consumer feedback is very important to us.

     2) We appreciate the time you took to contact us.

     3) Your disappointment concerns us.

     4) We have forwarded your comments to the appropriate personnel.

If you ask me, Mattel has a machine with two buttons: Positive Feedback, and Negative Feedback. It spits one of two form letters out.  Had I submitted a positive note, the letter would have read:

Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate the time you have taken to share your thoughts with us.

A great deal of time has gone into the design and manufacture of this item and are glad that you like it.   Consumer feedback is very important to us. We have forwarded your comments to the appropriate personnel here at Mattel for their interest.


We will continue to work hard to merit your future support of our products.


Sincerely,


Mattel Consumer Relations
service.mattel.com

That way, nobody really has to do anything, and nothing ever really gets fixed. It seems to me, the Fisher Price Barbie American Girl Giant is too big and now out of touch with its customers.


What do you think?

Jerry

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