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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Post #59 - War on Spam - Salami!

From: Mr Salam Z.
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso (ADB)
Ouagadougou - Burkina Faso .

Dear friend,
I am writing to seek your cooperation over this business, please due welcome this letter.

I am Mr Salam Zanni, the director of the accounts & auditing dept .at the African Development Bank Ouagadougou-west Africa . (A D B) With due respect, I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be beneficial to both of us.

At the bank's last accounts/auditing evaluations, my staffs came across an old account which was being maintained by a foreign client who we learnt was among the deceased passengers of motor accident on November.2003,the deceased was unable to run this account since his death. The account has remained dormant without the knowledge of his family since it was put in a safe deposit account in the bank for future investment by the client.

Since his demise, even the members of his family haven't applied for claims over this fund and it has been in the safe deposit account until I discovered that it cannot be claimed since our client is a foreign national and we are sure that he has no next of kin here to file claims over the money. As the director of the department, this discovery was brought to my office so as to decide what is to be done. I decided to seek ways through which to transfer this money out of the bank and out of the country too.

The total amount in the account is ten million five hundred thousand dollars (USD 10,500,000.00).with my positions as staffs of the bank, I am handicapped because I cannot operate foreign accounts and cannot lay bonfire claim over this money. The client was a foreign national and you will only be asked to act as his next of kin and I will supply you with all the necessary information and bank data to assist you in being able to transfer this money to any bank of your choice where this money could be transferred into.

The total sum will be shared as follows: 50% for me, 50% for you and expenses incidental occur during the transfer will be insure by both of us. The transfer is risk free on both sides hence you are going to follow my instruction till the fund transfer to your account.

Since I work in this bank that is why you should be confident in the success of this transaction because you will be updated with information as at when desired.

I will wish you to keep this transaction secret and confidential as I am hoping to retire with my share of this money at the end of transaction which will be when this money is safety in your account. I will then come over to your country for sharing according to the previously agreed percentages. You might even have to advise me on possibilities of investment in your country or elsewhere of our choice. May God help you to help me to a restive retirement, Amen,

Please for further information and enquiries feel free to contact me back immediately for more explanation and better understanding.

I am waiting for your urgent response!!!

Thanks and remain blessed.
Mr Salam Z.
My reply to Salam on 7/28/2009


Dear Mr. Salami,

I indeed due welcome your invitation. Although I find it odd that the deceased motor accident victim was unable to manage his accounts. My deceased grandfather, Grampy, manages all of my investments. He's a spirit. He uses his ghostly powers to attend board meetings for me, and gain insider information, which I then use to stay one step ahead of the market. Also, as a lad at the bus stop, this one fellow, Brandon, teased me. To this day, probably once a month, Grampy sneaks into his house and leaves his mayonnaise open. Brandon, due to the side effects, can't keep a job, a girl, or a white pair of trousers.

Needless to say, Grampy is never wrong. Grampy helps at the race tracks too. That's probably his best trick. One can be effective when all but one horse have eaten hay soaked with Grampy's tainted mayonnaise.

I'm sure your little project is all on the up and up. And I'm sure I can help you with your investments.

Let's become fast friends. I like the music of Howard Jones, Rocky Road Ice Cream, and lots of Gin. How about you?


Charles Encharje Uvowrlives

Call me on this line for further explanations: 00226 7573 9117‏
From: salam Z.
Sent:Wed 7/29/09 1:41 PMTo:

Dear friend,

Thank you for your answer to my proposition. How is your family? I hope no problem. Please I want you to know that this is a legitimate transaction, don't be afraid of anything, it is real and genuine.

You are advice to look at my second mail and when you assure me that you will help me to safe keep this fund when it enters into your account I will prepare the official request form or application letter which you will fill and send it to our bank by the e-mail address of the bank to pay you pressing attention to your demand towards the bank as the heir for dead customer.

Know that this deal is 100 % risk free. Be assured that I shall supply you with the detailed information which they will require from you as regards to this deal.

Note, you should not allow the bank to know that you have a partner who supplies you with the information they require from you to support your demand as heir to Mr Kattan Azmal.

Be assured that if you can understand and follow my instructions, there will be no difficulty for the bank to transfer this fund into your account. I am a man of 46yrs with 3 children.

I will retire from the public service any moment as soon as I conclude this deal with you. Bear in mind that this fund belongs to a foreigner but regrettably he died with his family in fatal motor accident and so far nobody came to our bank to demand this fund as heir to the deceased and I being from Burkina Faso citizen, I cannot demand this fund because it belongs to a foreigner and only a foreigner can demand this fund.

Note that the fund must be transferred in your account under 7 working days counting from the day of submission of your application and approval by our bank.

The total sum will be shared as follows: 50% for me, 50% for you and expenses incidental occur during the transfer will be incure by both of us. The transfer is risk free on both sides hence you are going to follow my instruction till the fund transfer to your account

There will be some vital and legal documents to back up this transfer into your account and there is no way the bank will transfer the money into your account without those documents which is going to obtain here as the origin and source of this fund.

Meanwhile I make it very clear this fund is here life in this bank so do not be afraid to apply as the next of kin, am here to back you up to make sure everything is ok.

I await your answer as urgency implies. Thank you and my respect to your beautiful family and to hope to be with you soon.

Call me on this line for further explanations: 00226 7573 9117,Please equally forward your telephone number to me for effective communication.

Mr Salam Z.
My response, sent 7/29/2009

Dear Mr. Salami,

Thank you for asking about my family. All is NOT well with them, unfortunately. In America, we are encouraged to make our homes efficient prior to selling. Over the past month, I have in the process of having insulation installed. My ex-wife replaced all of the insulation with pink cotton candy. My house is INFESTED with ants. We’ve had to strip the interior down to the studs, to apply pesticides. As a result, I have no phone service at this time.

Normally, when I receive such emails with descriptors like “real” or “genuine”, a red flag goes up. However, when someone uses BOTH “real” and “genuine”, I feel much better. You’re in, big guy! Send me all the paperwork. This is going to be really, really great.

The Ghost of Grampy says “hi”. He has some advice for investments for you. One is “Apple Computers”. They have some stuff-a-brewin’, according to their chairman at their last board meeting. He seems to enjoy Lemon Crème sandwich cookies, which is odd for a big shot.

Also, as a blessing on our transaction, Grampy will unleash the most hostile of digestive tract ailments via mayonnaise or other non-pasteurized egg-based products, upon anyone who stands in our way. Bankers, loan officers, customs officials, government employees—either on your end or mine—will spend a week or more doubled over on the crapper if they screw with us.

In return, all he asks is that each of us says “hi” back. See, spirits get lonely. They need companionship like anyone. He said it’s okay if you just type it in an email.

By the way--were you on a TV show called “White Shadow?” There was an Italian fellow on there named Salami. Just checking. Probably a coink-ee-dink, eh?

Enough for now. Send those documents!


Charles Encharje Uvowrlives


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