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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Post# 259 - Does Fredericks of Hollywood Carry Pregnant Maternity Wear?

For this one, I stepped a little far out of the male hetero comfort zone, but I did it on behalf of all of the lovely ladies out there.
My note to Robert Genest, President of Frederick's of Hollywood, dated 3/20/1998:
Dear Mr. Genest,

It began as a college Halloween costume party gag.  I thought my costume might draw a hearty chuckle from my fraternity brothers.  However, when I arrived wearing a halter top, miniskirt, fishnet hose, and a pair of red pumps I was greeted with jeers and ridicule.  I was alienated and banished by my so-called friends.  The humility that I felt was overshadowed by stronger feelings of liberation.  I was finally in touch with my inner self.

No longer was I merely a cog in a society that "manufactures" workers.  I had exchanged my one-dimensional friends for individuality.  October 31, 1994 was my Independence day.  Thereafter, I dressed in drag everywhere I went, purchasing all of my clothes at Frederick's of Hollywood.  Once I had been ostracized by every last member of my family,  I migrated from the Bible Belt north to Michigan and maintained this liberating role as a woman.

Womanhood  had its advantages--lady's night meant free drinks.  Eager gentlemen held doors open.  Rednecks in big trucks honked.  But I felt awkward declining the endless propositions--I didn't dare set foot in a truck stop. 

Then, it happened.  I was invited to a candle party at the home of a coworker.  I met the most wonderful male friend of the host.  Intrigued by a man who defied of society's mores to attend a female function, I was encountering strange new feelings.  Patrick's defiance inspired me to corner him for a date.  I was dumfounded when he agreed.

Our date went well until the end.  We each had a confession.  My dark secret was greeted with a pleasant surprise-- that Patrick was actually a "Patricia," unbeknownst to every single person in her (his) life.  A few years back, Patricia was passed over for a promotion because of her gender.  Like me, she moved to Michigan seeking a new beginning with her new "gender."  Patricia is an orphan, so she has no ties back in Cuyahoga Falls.

To make a long story short, we are now married and Patricia is pregnant.  Because I have assumed the woman role in the public eye, I must act out the pregnancy.  When Patricia begins showing, we must keep her (him) out of sight. 

Do you carry maternity wear?  It only seems fair that you would--your apparel causes pregnancy.  You were there for the party--now you should pay the piper.  Please respond--and if you indeed offer a maternity catalog, send me a copy.  If not, I am open to suggestions.  If it helps, my size is 34-36-34 (I was a husky bride).  I plan to use the pillows from my couch (12" by 12" by 3" each), and begin a steady diet of fried chicken and apple fritters.

Please provide some information so that Patricia and I might remain discrete during in this very challenging time.  Eventually, we'll need all our energy for the dreaded "Birds and Bees" talk.  I think Patricia and I will employ the  rock/scissors/paper method to decide who delivers that speech.  In the mean time, I am reading up on pregnancy so I can know just which symptoms to fake.

Dodging Springer's Calls,

Mr. Genest's response, dated 3/27/1998:

Dear Jerry,

In response to your letter of 3/20/1998. Frederick's of Hollywood does not carry maternity wear or have a maternity catalog.

Thank you for your interest in Frederick's of Hollywood.


Robert Genest
President, Retail Stores
Response, sent 3/32/1998:

Dear Mr. Genest,

I appreciate your response and am disappointed by the content.  As a reluctant transvestite, I found solace in your attire.  It allowed me to know the freedom that people seldom feel.  Those lacy, strappy outfits gave me newfound confidence.  They put a spring in my step, and afforded me the courage to approach my wife, Patricia.

Now follow my logic.  If your clothes gave me, a reluctant transvestite, the courage to swim upstream, find a mate and reproduce, imagine how many actual women that belong in your clothes have become pregnant as a result.  It would seem to me that if my actions helped get someone in a position of impending motherhood, it is my duty, my role, and my obligation to offer every bit of support that I can.  Frederick's of Hollywood owes it to women everywhere to offer maternity wear. 

As a company based upon sex appeal, you can't be beat.  In my opinion, by not providing maternity clothes, you send a strong message.  You imply that "we don't think women who are pregnant can be sexy."  And that is not fair. 
You are taking women who, due to hormonal imbalance and drastic physical changes, already have a low self-esteem.  At least when the baby was in the womb, there was a sense of "purpose" for the odd dimensions.  After the birth, they are overweight and experiencing post-partum depression.  Perhaps this is partly your fault?

I strongly suggest that you consider providing your loyal customer base with the follow-through support of maternity wear.  I would be interested in hearing your reasons for not providing such garments.

Sharing Victoria's Secret,


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