Post# 258 - Immodium AD: How About a More Proactive Approach
I sent this to Immodium AD on 8/14/2011:
Dear Immodium AD,
Historians claim that in 1962, a key meeting between Fidel Castro and Soviet military and missile specialists was cut short because Castro had a sudden "bad scallop crisis" of his own. Castro's seafood guy, disgruntled for being fired and exiled, leaked key information about a missile base to the US Government. This information altered the course of the Cuban Missile Crisis. While we can call it a victory for the US, one can easily see how one lousy bout with diarrhea adversely affected Cuba and the Soviets.
Diarrhea can strike at anytime for no reason, leaving destruction and devastation in it's wake. Some call it the silent killer, but I would argue that it can be FAR from silent. Career advancements, important auditions, and marriage proposals have been destroyed by unplanned and unwarranted attacks. Children on playgrounds and busses sing songs about it. Jilted ex-lovers wish it upon one another. Backpackers sit around wilderness campfires telling wild tales about it.
Some blame diet. Some blame stress. Some even blame Montezuma. I blame you.
The Immodium AD approach to "the Brown Assassin" seems to be reactive. "Let's wait for an attack and then stop it as quickly as possible." What happens if that attack occurs while you're between the pipes in Game 5 versus the Anaheim Ducks? Ask Roberto Luongo, because in 2007, his Vancouver Canucks team lost a Game 5, 2 to 1 in overtime as he straddled a commode. Even Vegas couldn't plan for that.
I'm calling for a new, more proactive approach. People don't wait for automobile accidents--they wear seatbelts. Folks don't wait for burglars--they install surveillance and security systems on their homes and businesses. Folks don't just wait for scurvy or rickets--they eat a diet rich in vitamins, or take daily supplements. I think we can all agree that diarrhea is far more likely to find us than a prowler or an oncoming ice cream truck. Why not protect for it?
Why are there no daily anti-diarrhea supplements? Wouldn't this be a better approach? Once it hits us, it's often too late. By failing to plan, we're planning to fail, whether we're discussing retirement planning, family planning, or the Big Brown Monsoon.
I understand that diarrhea is caused by the muscles that control the small intestine working too quickly to facilitate absorption of nutrients into the body. I also realize that it due to the multitude of bacterial, viral and other causes, it would be impossible to treat every possible cause. Your medicine slows these muscles, getting things "back on track." What about a lesser daily version that slows Brown Beltway traffic down when necessary, but does not cause a logjam? I guess what I'm suggesting is something to make liquid semi-solid, and to make solid just a tad more solid?
Are there any plans to resolve this in the near future? .
PS: I noticed that your website has a Bathroom Finder. It claims that my state's capital only has 41 bathrooms. I'm sure Applebee's appreciates your additional traffic.
Subject: McNeil-PPC, Inc. Reference - 011192455A
Date: Tuesday, August 16, 2011, 10:13 PM
Thank you for contacting McNeil-PPC, Inc.. We appreciate your interest in our company.
While we do offer a product line designed to meet a wide range of needs, we do not manufacture a product specifically for the need you have described. We recommend contacting your Health Care Provider or pharmacist for advice in this matter. We will certainly share your comments with those responsible for bringing our products and services to you.
Again, thank you for your interest in our company. Should you have any comments or questions in the future, please contact us via our website www.imodium.com or by calling our toll-free number, 1800 962-5357. Our specialists are available Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. EST and will be happy to assist you.