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Friday, August 26, 2011

Post# 204 - Capital One: Stop Sending Credit Card Applications To My 9-Year-Old!!!

Sent to Capital One on 6/23/2011:

Dear Capital One,

Pardon my naivety--I'm an outsider.  That guy who pays his bills on time every month, lives within his means, and when it came time to buy a house, opted for something that I knew I could afford.

When I walk into car dealerships and salespeople see my credit score, they tell me I can finance anything on the lot.  I choose to buy the car that makes the most sense.

See, back in 2008, there were these series of problems that lead to the economy going down the crapper.  Lots of people were caught with their pants down around their ankles.  Banks made irresponsible decisions.  Mortgages were handed out to any Tom, Dick, or Harry.  The ripple effect almost wiped away the middle class.

Fast forward to now.  People are more responsible.  Old neighbors "short saled" their homes, and new people bought them at a third of their previous value.  Some just let their house go, rent for a year or two, rebuild their score, and buy the same house at a discount.  Overall, people seem wiser though.

Most people, that is.

Why are you sending my daughter credit card applications?  SHE'S FRIGGING NINE, you idiots.  Nine-year-old's don't understand credit-to-debt ratios, compounding interest, identity theft, and all of the other fun things that go along with being a card holder.  She cares about American Girl dolls, what's on Nickelodeon, whether her mom bought more Snack Packs, and how fast she can swim a 50 freestyle.

About halfway down, you offer an "Opt Out" notice, where I can discontinue idiotic and irresponsible offers from continuing to appear in my mail.  Funny, I don't remember "Opting In."

So what's the plan?  Get my daughter under your burden of easy monthly payments before she's in middle school?  I know--the responsible parent is supposed to teach kids right from wrong.  Well you sorta lobbed a nice grenade in my foxhole, and I thank you kindly.  Now my daughter wants a credit card.

It's nice to see you've learned a lesson from the Credit Crash of 2008.  :Let's make it easy for people--in this case, people who still put their teeth under the pillow for the tooth fairy--to buy things that they can't afford.

That didn't bite anybody in the ass the first time.


Soon-to-be-Ex-Card Holder if you keep this crap up
From: Capital One Web Information <>
Date: Friday, June 24, 2011, 10:10 AM
Hello Jerry,

Thanks for your message.

Please be advised that we have forwarded your opt-out request to the
appropriate department for handling.

Thanks for contacting Capital One®.


Capital One
Date: Friday, June 24, 2011, 7:07 PM
Dear Capital One,
Yes I said "Soon to be ex-card holder if you keep this crap up."  I meant the policy--not the peppering of my child with credit card applications.
By suggesting that you'll simply opt me out and continue sending other applications to pre-teens, suggests that you just don't get it.

Maybe you'll never get it.  Maybe I'll take my business elsewhere.


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  1. Pretty sure they don't get it. Your letter was great!

  2. Thanks Tammy! As always, thanks for reading!

    I like your blog.