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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Post # 156 - Gillette Venus and Their Inferior Lube Strips - 7/27/2010

 My friend Theresa's daughter, "Melanie", complained about her Gillette Venus Razor.  The lube strips fell off a little too quickly.

Below is my letter, sent 7/27/2010:
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Dear Gillette,


As a competitive swimmer, a hairless existence makes for faster times. Longer fingernails win tight races. Any tiny advantage helps.

I use your Gillette Fusion razor for my face. I love it’s five blades—whiskers run and hide from it! I’ll be waiting in line for the store to open when the six blade version hits the street.

For everything else, I use your Lady Gillette Venus Breeze. Follow my logic. I figure man razors are designed for facial surfaces. Since ladies shave legs, etc. a lady razor is probably my best option for those surfaces. The double moisturizer strip concept is a mind-blow. I think it could revolutionize the whole industry.

Here is my problem:

I keep both razors in my shower. As you can imagine, I run a little hot. I need my showers hot. Not center-of-the-earth hot. Just hot enough to ease the tensions that accumulate while beating punks half my age. It takes its toll. The moisturizer strips on the Venus fell off after one use. Not the case for the Fusion razor to it’s right.

This seems like a defect to me. A razor should be able to withstand more than one use. A razor should be able to withstand a little steam. I’m disappointed. What the?

What are your thoughts?

Jerry
38-year-old 2012 Summer Olympic Hopeful
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Gretchen from P&G replied on 7/29/2010:

Dear Jerry,

Thanks for contacting Venus Breeze.

Our goal is to produce high quality products that consistently delight our consumers and I'm sorry this wasn't your experience with your recent purchase of Venus Breeze Cartridges. Please be assured I'm sharing your comments about the gel bars falling off with the rest of our team. While I understand the convenience of storing your razors in the shower, because the gel bars on the Venus Breeze is water activated, it should be kept in an area of the shower where it is not getting constant contact with the flow of the shower head.

Your satisfaction is important to us so we’d like to send compensation with a voucher for a free pack of Venus Breeze Cartridges. Please respond with your complete name and mailing address. Once we receive your information, you can expect to hear from us within the next 2-3 weeks.

Thanks again for writing.

Gretchen
Venus Breeze Team
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My response on 7/29/2010:

Dear Gretchen,

Thank you for the response.

My relay took second today! We’re really jazzed.

One minor note: both razors (Venus and Fusion) are contained in one of those suction cuppy containers on the shower door, well out of the way of the spray. The only moisture that they see comes from steam. They behave very differently—the Fusion can handle it, the Venus didn’t.

My address is:

XXX Maple Rd
Anytown, OH 99999

Note: Please mark the package to my au pere’s attention. I’ll be training in New Brunswick for four weeks, and I’d prefer that the postal service not forward this package. I’m only packing my swim suit and tooth brush, and really don’t want to check a bag.

My Au Pere’s name is Melanie Smith

Thanks again, Gretchen!

Sincerely,

Jerry
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Note from Gretchen at P&G, on 7/30/2010

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for contacting Venus. Hearing from consumers like you helps us to provide top quality products and services worldwide. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I am unable to send fulfillment to anyone other than the primary contact. Due to privacy laws, we would need to have verbal authorization from both you and Megan in order to be able to send this in her name. I can either hold off on sending the vouchers until you are going to be back in the area, or you can contact our consumer services department by calling 1-800-445-5388 with Megan and give verbal authorization. Thank you, GretchenVenus Team
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My reply, sent on 7/30/2010
Gretchen,


Thanks for another super-speedy response. You are exemplary among your peers. I, on the other hand, am not.

During a super-slo-mo replay of our relay, I was discovered by the judges to be performing a doggy paddle derivative.

Bad news: we were disqualified. Good news: we're looking really strong for 2016.

Bottom line, I'll be home. Please send the package to my attention:

Attn: Jerry H. (2016 Olympic Hopeful)
XXX Maple Rd

Anytown, OH 99999


Thanks again,

Jerry
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