Post # 177 - McDonalds McBites - 5/1/2011

Dear McDonalds,

I’m dissatisfied with my recent purchase, your McBites, which are the McAnswer to KFC’s Popcorn Chicken.  It is my understanding that you’re test marketing these here in the Detroit area.  In a way, then, I’m a super hero, simultaneously a) helping you “get it right” before you go nationwide, and b) saving billions and billions of people from having a miserable experience. 

The chicken is tasty.    My complaint is sauce to chicken ratio.  With my son’s $.99 four piece, 2.3 ounce McNuggets, he gets the same amount of sauce, and it’s more sauce than he could ever use.  I feel the Catholic guilt, throwing half of it out. 

With my $2.99 regular size six ounce McBites, I get the very same 28 gram sauce cup.  This is great, for the first three or four ounces.  Then, no more sauce.  Just chicken.  Chicken by itself is great, if you’re expecting it.  Chicken by itself, after the sauce is all gone, is pure loneliness.  Look—I’m not Mr. Go-Crazy Dipper.  I saw the end coming, and started dipping less and less, to make it last. 

You need to provide more sauce.  Maybe one sauce for the snack size, two sauces for regular, and three for your jumbo size.  Think about it.  Let me know when it’s fixed, and I’ll be back.   

Sincerely,

Jerry

P.S. - Also, why not add some others—teriyaki, maybe a garlic parmesan, and a super hot one.  Not a “fast food” hot sauce, but a “wow—that really had some kick to it” hot.
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From: McDonalds.Customer Care
Date: Tue, 3 May 2011
Subject: Message from McDonald's USA

Hello Jerry:

Thank you for contacting McDonald's. We always enjoy hearing from our valued customers, and I'm sorry you're disappointed in our test product, Chicken McBites.

To add variety to our menu, different McDonald's restaurants offer products for a limited time only throughout the year. Since these products are subject to change, your comments are especially appreciated and will be shared with our Menu Management department.

Again, thank you for sharing your feedback on this product with us. Your trust and satisfaction are important to us. We hope we have the opportunity to serve you soon under the Golden Arches.

Jessica
McDonald's Customer Response Center

ref#:7778107

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To: McDonald's Customer Care
Subject: RE: Message from McDonald's USA
Date: Tue, 3 May 2011

Jessica,

Thank you for taking up my cause and standing in unity with me.

When you attend the next "All McHands on Deck" with the coffee and bagels and dry erase boards, and you're aggressively making my point (because we're right), mention this:

1) The baker who sells a half-frosted cake doesn't have to bake for very long.

2) The pizzeria that only sauces half of their pies doesn't have to worry about repeat business.

3) The bike manufacturer who only uses half of his fasteners, may experience some negative word of mouth advertising.

Don't cut corners with your customers.  Don't take your customers for granted.  And always use the freshest ingredients.

Sincerely,

Jerry

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Post #58 - Prego and the Spatula-Eating Jar -9/28/2010

Dear Prego,

As a retired astronaut who missed his only mission by one lousy windstorm, narrow misses drive me bonkers. Try training for eleven long years, politicking, sleeping every night in a tumbling dryer to combat claustrophobia. Try eating all of your food out of toothpaste tubes, just in case that phone rings, and you’re reinstated.

See, I was John Glenn’s alternate. He caught a bout of the whooping cough, and almost missed Friendship 7. I was all set to go—then the weather bozos called for a windstorm that delayed the launch. By the time the launch was rescheduled, Glenn was healthy and I was scratched. The phone did ring many years later—they asked me to go up into orbit. But the next day, John Glenn came home from Mardi Gras, and they picked him over me.

I deal with my anger by cooking. I love making spaghetti, and Prego is my sauce of choice. Look—the Prego jar drives me bonkers. It is quite wide, with a narrow opening. Those upper corners are next to impossible to access. The opening is too narrow for a spatula, and one that fits, it beheads itself on the way out. You almost need a hockey stick shape.

I’ve measured—there’s good half-ounce of sauce in each jar that I pay for, and don’t get to use. You do the math—25 years x 52 weeks (plus 6 leap days) x 2 jars a week, x ½ ounce. You owe me 1301 ounces of sauce, by my math—the same math used to safely slice through the atmosphere at the correct angle. You owe me fourteen spartulas—that’s how many have come apart upon removal from your poorly designed jar.

I demand a written explanation—what are we going to do to fix the jar? May I recommend the toothpaste tube? What are we going to do about the 1301 ounces of sauce that you owe me?

Where is my last half ounce of sauce, and the business end of my spatula? Check the jar—it’s in there.

Sincerely,

Jerry
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From: campbellsoup@casupport.com
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 2009 11:23:51 -0400
Subject: Ref #: 004402538A

Mr Jerry, we received your message and appreciate your taking the time to contact Campbell Soup Company. I'm sorry to hear that you are disappointed with the design of our packaging.

At Campbell, our number one priority is to delight our consumers. We try to develop products that are pleasing to most consumers. A significant amount of research and testing is conducted before any product improvement or change is introduced into the marketplace. Various package designs were developed and tested and those that most consumers preferred were chosen.

Thank you for sharing your comments. I have forwarded them to our design and development teams so they too may benefit from your insight.

Please accept the coupon we have sent to you via the mail with my apologies for any inconvenience you may have experienced. The coupon can be redeemed for any product in the Campbell family of brands including V8, Prego, Pace, and Pepperidge Farm.
Please contact the Consumer Response Center or visit Campbell's website if we can be of further assistance.

Thank you for visiting the Campbell Soup Company website.

Campbell Soup Company Web Team
LXR/cl

004402538A

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com