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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Post# 261 - Would Burger King Consider Using Recycled Human By-Product

I sent this to Burger King on 7/20/2011, afdter reading about Japanese scientists who recycled human excrement to make a meat substitute

Dear Burger King,

I once called into question your marketing, citing that Mr. Potato Head eating a french fry is cannibalism.  You thankfully ended that form of advertisement, and I thank you.

A recent United Nations Report estimated that the meat and livestock industry to contribute to about 9% of total anthropogenic carbon dioxide emissions, including 37% of methane and 65% of nitrous oxide emissions.

The time has come to think about future generations.  If Burger King uses 600,000 lbs of beef per year, and each pound requires 2,500 gallons of water to produce (these are round numbers), that's almost Lake Erie.  We need to make changes, and fast.

People laughed at Edison's "light bulb" invention.  However, when the laughing stopped, society embraced it, continuously improving it's performance and efficiency.  It seems that recently, Japanese scientists have been able to create an edible meat product from recycled human "byproduct:."  This may seem silly or disgusting, but it is true, and 100% safe.  It is still early--the processes have not been optimized, and the end product is still prohibitively expensive.  In time though, as resources dwindle and Yankee Ingenuity thrives, this will be a viable food source.

My question to you is, once the scientists optimize this process and produce an affordable, safe, delicious beef alternative, will you consider making a switch to some or even all human byproduct? 

I'm envisioning an 80/20% Beef/Poo hybrid.  Maybe more.  This can all be fleshed out by the focus groups.  The important thing is beating McDonalld's, Wendy's and Carl's the punch!  Burger King could go fully "independent" and capture/process their own human byproduct.  The slogan could be something clever like, "From One Loyal Burger King Customer to Another."  I'm spitballin' here--you have marketing people that can figure all of that out--hopefully the last of the Potato Head era has left the company.

By reducing beef consumption, we free up farmlands for wind farms, cease the destruction of wildlife habitats for future farmlands.  We exhaust less natural resources (fossil fuels, fresh water, etc) and create less waste.  We turn the fast food industry on its proverbial ear.



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