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Friday, February 17, 2012

Post# 241- Motherhood Maternity Shorts And My Shallow Pocket Mis-hap

I sent this on 8/3/2011, on behalf of a pregnant friend, whose smart phone fell from the shallow pocket in her maternity shorts, into a puddle while retrieving the mail.

Dear Motherhood Maternity,

Imagine how a mother kangaroo would feel if her joey slipped out of her all-too-shallow pouch.  The same analogy applies to any marsupial and their young, and in a way, extends over to humans.

The other day, after a long rain, I walked out to the mailbox to retrieve our daily assortment of flyers, coupons, bills, and my husband's People Magazine.  As I removed the mail from the box, the water bill fell to the wet pavement.  As I awkwardly bent down to retrieve it, my smart phone unnested itself from it's shallow pocket in my Motherhood Maternity shorts.  My phone landed in a puddle and died.

Maybe you don't get it.  An expectant mother is dealing with a LOT--the nesting instinct, aches, pains, cravings, nausea, emotions, and fear of the unknown.  In the back of my mind, the phone in the pocket is a metaphor for my precious baby, inside me.  My sense of security is all messed up, and my hormones are raging.  I need waffles and bacon now!

Why are your pockets so shallow?  What's the point of a shallow pocket?  Shallow pockets offer a false sense of security, like handing your wallet to the playground mom, only to find she's a meth head who steals kids' money while they're on the merry-go-round.  I would argue that a shallow pocket is worse than no pocket at all, just as a crooked playground mom is worse than no playground mom at all.

Next time, when you're all in the boardroom looking at cute colored pencil sketches, conceived by a man or woman who has never been pregnant, maybe consider function instead of fashion.  Maybe a deeper, working pocket isn't as aesthetically pleasing as a false-sense-of-security pocket.  But as our bodies become a home to a living human-being, we're not planning on winning any fashion contest--WE JUST WANT COMFORT.  Having to buy a new phone on top of post maternity wear, baby stuff, diapers, formula, toys, wipes, nursery stuff, life insurance, a car seat, a stroller, and stuff to baby proof everything is not comforting.

On behalf of angry expectant mothers everywhere, I would appreciate an explanation--who designs shallow pockets?  Just curious.


Subject: RE: Motherhood Maternity Email From Customer
Date: Wednesday, August 3, 2011, 11:18 PM

Dear Stephanie,

Thank you for your email.

We have forwarded your information over to our merchandising department for review.

Customer Service Team

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