Post # 139 - West Bend Popcorn Popper Crack - 4/7/2010

Dear West Bend,

Martha and I love popcorn, and not that nonsense that comes in the bag that you stick in your radar range. No sir. Popcorn in a popper. Popcorn in YOUR West Bend 82306X Stir Crazy 6-Quart Electric Popcorn Popper. Life has been a dream—one popperful of corn at a time. Different flavors of popcorn salt on different days. And on Saturday…CARAMEL CORN!

Here’s the deal. I design components, just like the crack staff at West Bend. We all sat in the same classes, with the same barely-speaking-English professors, learning basic design concepts. Among those: avoid stress risers. Stress risers are sharp corners in components, where cracks are likely to begin, and quickly propagate. I explain this to you as though you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I’m accusing West Bend of intentionally designing an Achilles heel into their popper globe. My globe is hanging on by a thread, and you know it. You planned it. You’re giggling about it.

Why else would you design such a sharp corner, where the handle meets the globe. That globe is so flimsy and flexible, leaving that area so vulnerable to cracking. In fact, to slow the crack propagation down, I’ve ceased washing the oily popcorn aftermath from the inside of the globe.

You know darn well that there should be a nice rounded, gradual transition, with reinforcing ribs. I’m sure that saving several cents, plus creating a reason for folks to buy a new West Bend 82306X Stir Crazy 6-Quart Electric Popcorn Popper.

Well I say no. I’m really angry. I’m going to climb the highest mountain and shout it at the top of my lungs.

I’m a dissatisfied customer. I’d appreciate a written explanation.

Sincerely,

Jerry
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Date: Thu, 8 Apr 2010 08:20:13 -0600

From: service@focuselectrics.com
Subject: Focus Customer Service Request B10-04-0182

Please email back the four digit date code beginning with zero or nine from the base of the machine. Also, include the date and store of purchase. With this information we can assist you further.

Regards,

Alyssa
CSR
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To: service@focuselectrics.com
Subject: RE: Focus Customer Service Request B10-04-0182
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:49:16 -0400

Hi Alyssa,

It's 0044. Is this the 44th day of 2000? Keep in mind, it had an eight year hiatus on a shelf, when I had discovered potato chips.

Thanks,

Jerry
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Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:37:33 -0600

From: service@focuselectrics.com
Subject: Focus Customer Service Request B10-04-0182

Unfortunately, your unit was manufactured by the original West Bend company in 2000, and discontinued before Focus Electrics acquired the company about 5 years ago. Because you unit is 10 years old the only option we can give at this time is to purchase a new lid, or we can give you a discount on a new popper. The lid is part P347-2D for $22.94, which includes shipping and handling. You can order online at www.focuselectrics.com, or with customer service at 866-290-1851.

We are willing to offer you a new unit at a discounted price. Please log onto our website at www.focuselectrics.com to view our current product offerings. If you choose to receive the discount of 30% off (coupon code 30AK) of the regular listed price please contact customer service at 866-290-1851. Please contact us back if you require further assistance/

Regards,

Alyssa

CSR

If you reply to this message, please be sure that the request id B10-04-0182 is contained in the subject line of your email.
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To: service@focuselectrics.com

Subject: RE: Focus Customer Service Request B10-04-0182
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:39:47 -0400

Alyssa,

I think I figured it out. I paid $29.99 for a popper back in 2000. I can buy basically the same popper in 2010 at Target for $29.99. Or, I can buy the poorly designed lid for $22.94.

My other option is to go on your website and pay $44.93 for the same 6 quart Stir Crazy popper that I can get at Target for $29.99. With your 30% off coupon, that's $31.45 plus shipping.

Plus, I don't see that the lid handle on the new model is really improved at all. Why not fix the lid once and for all?

Jerry

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Post # 123 - Orville Redenbacher Peed in My Microwave - 3/4/2010

My friend, Intense Auburn had a problem with her popcorn.  She presented me with the details, and the photos.  Below is the result.
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Dear Mr. Redenbacher,


Tuesday is my long day. At the end of a long Tuesday, I like to unwind with a nice film. Often it’s a recommendation, but it’s always a classic. I always pop and enjoy Orville Redenbacher Gourmet Microwave Popcorn. Sight and Sound meet up with Smell, Feel and Taste. Sometimes I invite my girlfriend Tula, which means necking afterwards.

My last six Tuesday classics included:

1) The Ten Commandments

2) Casablanca

3) Godfather Part II

4) Spartacus

5) Miracle

6) Hoosiers.

All of these were classics. Last night was to be no different—one of my friends recommended this Weekend At Bernies Part II film. I unwrapped my popcorn packet and popped according to your directions, as I always do. I find that the popcorn angels reward us for following directions, with perfectly popped, flavorful popcorn. Perfectly popped popcorn doesn’t stink up a house.

When the time came to retrieve, I encountered a problem. I encountered a big problem. When I lifted the bag, it peed buttery topping all over the microwave and counter. There was a big hole in the bag.

Why do the Popcorn Angels choose to mess up my kitchen and ruin my movie? I did the legwork here. I bought the most expensive microwave that the sales lady said would pop the best popcorn. I paid extra to get the one with the revolving bottom. I paid extra for Orville’s corn because we all know it’s the best. I put it in right side up and everything. I stopped it when the popping noises stopped. Yet the Popcorn Angels ruined a great movie.

After I laboriously cleaned up the goop, I had lost my appetite. My bad experience seemed to taint my movie. For whatever reason, I’ll never be able to think of Weekend at Bernies II in the same light as The Ten Commandments or Godfather Part II. And I blame Orville.

What would cause this? Faulty bag paper? Faulty oil? Misproportioned oil-to-corn? Corn bugs?

Can you please tell me? I’m afraid I need a written explanation. Tuesday movies and my relationship with Tula are on hold (I yelled at her and tried blaming her when it happened).

Thanks,

Jerry

PS I have photos if you need them.
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From: webmaster@conagrafoods.com

Subject: Re: Consumer Affairs Email Response 052830198B
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:30:18 -0600
March 10, 2010

Dear Jerry

Thank you for your email concerning our Orville Redenbacher's® Butter Microwave Popcorn.

We sincerely apologize for your experience. We stand by the quality of our products, and want you to know that this matter has been taken seriously.

We will also be sending you a coupon via regular mail that is valid for nine months. Please allow 1-2 weeks for receipt.

Thanks again for your feedback. We're listening!

Sincerely,

Mollie

Consumer Affairs
Ref: 052830198B

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My response, 3/11/2010

Dear Orville,

I appreciate the coupon. It's a nice gesture.

I get the feeling you're sweeping this under the rug. Don't you have a staff of scientists with lab coats and safety glasses and clip boards? Don't they run “Pop-ability” tests with a diverse population of microwaves and simulated altitude settings?

I was hoping for a coupon AND an explanation, as opposed to just a coupon.

I have an idea for you: under-hood popcorn. Follow along: 1) Leaving work, I throw a foil "puck" under the hood of my vehicle. 2) As I drive, the kernals heat up, and pop up nicely. 3) When I get home, I pop the hood and enjoy my snack. Just an idea.

Thanks

Jerry

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Post # 69 - Better Made Checks and Balances 11-10-2009

A friend of mine complained that she purchased some Bettermade Triple Mix Popcorn.  For those of you who don't know, this is the Cheese/Butter/Caramel Blend (also known as Chicago Style).  Pull the cardboard divider out of one of those big popcorn tins and shake it up.  Anyway, the key to Triple Mix is the blend of salty and sweet.  Without ample caramel corn, you have a dud on your hands.

Thanks for the tip Kim!
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Dear Better Made,

I absolutely love all of your snacks. Pretzels, chips--Sweet Barbecue, Sour Cream ‘n’ Onion, Cathy’s Creamy Barbecue—all are top shelf. Your various popcorns make me so happy—Ranch, Cinnamon, Caramel, and Cheese! When out-of-towners ask me for a “taste of Michigan,” I point them right at the Better Made isle.

With every great job comes great challenges. As a 12th Grade United States Government teacher at the local high school, I am required to teach “often-dry” material. The difficult part is trying to “reach” Jake, the high school quarterback, whose mind has drifted to tonight’s kegger at Tommy’s since Tommy’s dad is in Barbados with his secretary. I’m also trying to reach Lisa, who is panicked because she locked her keys in the car, “oh and um like there’s a case of beer in the trunk that we bought at lunchtime”. Sometimes, I use everyday examples—simple things.

That particular day, the topic was checks and balances. The Better Made Triple Mix popcorn in my lunch became a makeshift example. In my Better Made example, Butter Corn vetoed a law passed by Cheese Corn. Cheese Corn overrode Butter Corn's veto with a vote of two-thirds of both poppers. Another example, Caramel Corn checked Cheese Corn by declaring a kernel unconstitutional. This power was is balanced by the fact that members of the Supreme Caramel Corn are appointed by the Butter Popcorn, and those appointments have to be approved by Cheese Corn.

My example fell flat on its face when I could hardly find any caramel corn in my Better Made Triple Mix Blend. With inadequate Caramel Corn representation, the bag was unable to uphold the constitution, and we had anarchy. Anarchy, both in the popcorn bag, and also in my classroom where Molly McPimpleton questioned my qualifications to teach her. Paper wads were flying east to west, erasers north to south. A Pelosi Paper airplane, a Mitt Romney paper football.

Your popcorn undermined me! What would cause such an imbalance of power, and for that matter, flavor? You and I know that everybody likes the caramel corn best. It was just a little disappointing. The package read "A26DEC2009C".

Sincerely,

Jerry
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Follow-up on 11/18/2009


Dear Better Made,

Just following up. It has been over a week and I have not heard from anyone.

My triple blend was really light on the caramel. I was just wondering what was up.

Thanks,

Jerry
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No response, other than automatic notification that they received my email.

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com