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Showing posts with label photo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label photo. Show all posts

Friday, August 5, 2011

Post# 198 - My Second Photo Submission to The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Previously, I submitted a photo to the Tonight Show With Jay Leno.  I thought I might give it another shot.
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Subject: Funny Photos for Submission
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:02:59 -0400


Dear Tonight Show,

I have two photos that I think are pretty doggoned funny.

These are street signs that I found in Michigan.

The first reads, "NEW LIFE LN" with a big yellow sign right below it that reads, "DEAD END."

The second reads, "NEW LOVE LN" with a big yellow sign right below it that reads, "DEAD END."

If you are interested in either of these, or both, ket me know and I will send them.

Love the show!

Sincerely,

Jerry 
------------------------
Subject: RE: Funny Photos for Submission
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2011 10:39:56 -0700

Hi Jerry,
Thanks again for your e-mails, and for your positive comments on the show. If you'd like to submit the pictures, we will pass them along to our writers, who collectively make decisions on what submissions will air.

Regrettably, we are unable to notify viewers in advance if their submissions will air.

Best regards,
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Viewer Relations
---------------------------
Subject: RE: Funny Photos for Submission
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2011 22:09:55 -0400


Dear Viewer Relations,

Attached are the photos that I mentioned.

If you have any questions, let me know.

Sincerely,

Jerry
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Post # 122 - War On Spam: Famous Amos - 2/2/1010

One of these days, that photo's actually going to show up, and I'm going to regret asking for it....
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Date: Tue, 2 Feb 2010 02:43:39 +0530

From: amoskude10@voila.fr
Subject: Hello
To:

HelloI work with a bank In West Africa,Burkina faso .I have a business transaction for you.In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $10.5 Million UDollars .In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in car bomb in Iraq.Since his supposed next of kin died along side with him at the Bomb blast,there is nobody to claim the left over balance in the account.It
is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department decided to seek your assistance and present you to the bank as his Next of kin.If you accept i would give you the guide lines of how we can achieve this transfer of the balance (10.5Million Dollars) to your account.and we will shear the money 50-50%.I expect that you will give me your telephone and fax numbers for easy communication with you and for more details.Best RegardsMr Amos Kude +226 78666175

--------------------------------
To: amoskude10@voila.fr
Subject: RE: Hello
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 20:11:57 -0500

Dear Amos,

I am extremely interested in your proposal. I love the idea of infinite wealth. However, I’ve been burned before by people who assured me that they were legitimate and trustworthy. I want to trust you. As you can imagine, I need verification.

I’ve thought long and hard about this. I need to know you’re a real person, with a real name. I also need to know you’re legitimate. Lastly, I need to have confirmation that you pay close attention to detail. Therefore, I
need the following in order to proceed.

I need one photograph of you containing the following (please see the attached diagram):

1) Shirt off

2) The letter “L” scribed on your forehead in a large font using whipped cream or shaving cream. L stands for “Legitimate”.

3) The same whipped cream or shaving cream on your nipples.

4) Holding today’s newspaper to your left. This will verify time and place.
I really apologize for any inconvenience that this poses. This may seem silly and unnecessary you, but this is very important to continue. If our business is as important to you as you say it is, it should be a simple task.

Consider this the only path to our partnership.

Sincerely,

Pat Vanhattan
-------------------------------------
Subject: More details‏
From: amoskude@gmail.com

Dear Jerry

Thank you for your response.I know that you will be surprised to get such a business proposal from me, due to the fact that we do not know each other,but i believe that every good relationship business starts with giving each other the benefit of doubt .All i need is you full assistance then i will guide you through out the banking transfer procedures.

I have been in charge of the late customer's account at the Bank Of Africa Burkina faso (BOA) for over 10years, and since his death nobody has come up to ask of this account and this is what made me to plan for this deal.I know very well that you might be aware of the fact that you are not in any way related to the deceased man,i have decided to present you to my bank as a business associate to Late client. this will certainly rule all your fears for we will provide you with the documents.

I will want to reassure you again that this transaction would be of no hitches and a 100% risk free .All you need to do is just to follow up strickly with my advises.The first step now is that i will have to apply for the transfer of the funds to your account.I will pay for the compulsory application processing fees which is 1800$ at the Bank when i submit the aplication letter.You should not worry about this application fees i will handle it.When i apply to the bank for the transfer of the funds to your account,my bank will start immedaite processing of the transfer,they will contact you via email and fax .Once you get any response from my bank you should just let me know so that i will give you advice on what to do next.

For me to fill in the application form on your behalf ,I would need more information on the account where you would recieve the money and also more information about you,please furnish me with the following information where i left a space

Name :........................
Country.:..................
Phone number :................
Fax..................................................
Your Age...........................................
Occupation........................ ...............
Address............................................
Bank Name.......................................
Bank Address.........................................
Account number........................................
Account name..........................................
Bank swift code.......................................

I would further advice that you try and keep this transaction to very confidential until we achieve our aim.This is my private number +226 78066889 call me for more clarifications.

My regards to your family and Allah blessing

Mr Kude
--------------------------------
To: amoskude@gmail.com
Subject: RE: More details‏
Date: Tue, 2 Feb 2010 05:51:53 -0500

Dear Amos,

Thank you for your reassurance. Thank you also for the Allah blessing. Bless you too.

Everything sounds great. But again, I need the photo to proceed. Please don't give up on our business relationship based on this request.

Pat

P.S. - Jerry is my boss. I use his computer and email account when he is taking a smoke break. My own computer will be one of my first purchases.

--------------------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 2 Feb 2010 16:44:53 +0530
From: amoskude10@voila.fr
Subject: Hello
To:

HelloI work with a bank In West Africa,Burkina faso .I have a business transaction for you.In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $10.5 Million US Dollars .In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in car bomb in Iraq.Since his supposed next of kin died along side with him at the Bomb blast,there is nobody to claim the left over balance in the account.It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department decided to seek your assistance and present you to the bank as his Next of kin.If you accept i would give you the guide lines of how we can achieve this transfer of the balance (10.5Million Dollars) to your account.and we will shear the money 50-50%.I expect that you will give me your telephone and fax numbers for easy communication with you and for more details.Best RegardsMr Amos Kude +226 78666175

----------------------------------------
To: amoskude10@voila.fr
Subject: RE: Hello
Date: Tue, 2 Feb 2010 20:08:42 -0500

Amos,

I'm getting cold feet. You re-sent the same note. Is this a form letter? Are you who you say you are? All the more reason why I need the photo that I requested. Again, I need one photograph of you containing the following (please see the attached diagram):

1) Shirt off

2) The letter “L” scribed on your forehead in a large font using whipped cream or shaving cream. L stands for “Legitimate”.

3) The same whipped cream or shaving cream on your nipples.

4) Holding today’s newspaper to your left. This will verify time and place.

This may seem silly and unnecessary you, but this is very important to continue. Consider this the only path to our partnership.

Sincerely,

Pat
-------------------------------------------
Subject: Good Luck,
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:55:20 +0000

I'm sorry but happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from Ghana though I tried my best to involve you in the businnes but God decided the whole situations. Presently i'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. meanwhile,I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

Now contact my secretary in Burkina faso his name is Mr NATACHAS ANWARDU his e-mail address is natachasanwardu@live.fr Ask him to send you the total of $800.000.00 (Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars Only) which I kept for your compensation for all your past efforts and attempts to assist me in this transaction. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with my secretary and dont forget to let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the
sufferings at that time.

in the moment, I’m very busy here because of the investment projects which I and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Mr NATACHAS ANWARDU he will send the amount to you without any delay.

Regards,

Your brother

AMOSKUDE
---------------------------------------------

To: amoskude@hotmail.fr
Subject: RE: Good Luck,
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:49:31 -0500

Amos,

Give me a break.

You say "it failed us some how" as though you didn't sh*t the bed in our business relationship. I gave you one lousy task, and you failed. No-worse. You didn't even try. You don't get an F. You get an incomplete.

Pat's Rules of Business #1: Follow through on tasks.

I also noticed in your previous notes that you gave me the Allah blessing. I'm assuming you're Islamic. So then you blame MY god in your note below. What's up with dissing my god?

Pat's Rules of Business # 2: Don't diss the other guy's god.

Lastly, I'm bringing you back on because I like you. I think deep down you're good. You just messed up.

So again, the task:

I need one photograph of you containing the following (please see the attached diagram):

1) Shirt off

2) The letter “L” scribed on your forehead in a large font using whipped cream or shaving cream. L stands for “Legitimate”.

3) The same whipped cream or shaving cream on your nipples.

4) Holding today’s newspaper to your left. This will verify time and place.
Rule # 3: Don't Sh*t the Same Bed Twice.

Sincerely,

Pat VanHattan
-----------------------------------------------------
To: amoskude@hotmail.fr

Subject: RE: Good Luck,
Date: Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:28:38 -0400

Amos,

Quit horsing around. The reason we have never forged a business partnership is lack of follow-through on your part. You've always been a daydreamer. A lollygagger. A ne'erdowell. Well brace yourself, Famous Amos. Here's a healthy dose of tough love.

You have until Midnight March 15th to follow through on the next step of our transaction. Otherwise, consider yourself FIRED!

Pat
--------------------------------------------
To: amoskude@hotmail.fr

Subject: RE: Good Luck,
Date: Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:35:15 -0400

Amos,

This is a sad day. I gave you a deadline, and you once again missed it.

I'm going to have to let you go. Don't look at this as an end. It's really a beginning. It's a cold splash in the face--a wake-up call.

In the mean time, you should be feeling great shame and inadequacy. Your next time of intimacy may be a time of great disappointment for you, and whomever you're with because you are now indeed less of a man.

The email scam business is all about creating a false sense that we're in a place of business, rather than what it is--more like a bank robbery.

You need to be more responsible. You need to be more dependable. You need to be more professional. People have lots and lots of email scammers from which to choose. These traits will help to steer some of them to you.

Best of luck to you in the future.

Pat


From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Post# 104 - War On Spam: Nickolay and His Stolen Identity

From: nikolay_sintsov2@live.fr
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 2010 11:50:50 +0000
Subject: ARE YOU WITH ME?

Good day,

I am Nikolay Sintsov,personal assistant to Mikhail Khodorkovsky,once rated as the richest man in Russia and owner of YUKOS OIL (Russian largest oil company),chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (a well reputable financial institution with its branches all over the world).

SOURCE OF FUNDS:

I have a profiling amount in an excess of Forty Million,Five Hundred Thousand USA Dollars(US$40.5M), which I seek you to accommodate for me. You will be rewarded with 40% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you handle this?

As his personal assistant, I was authorized to transfer money of an American oil merchant for his last oil deal with my boss Mikhail Khodorkovsky.

The funds have since left the shores of America to a European private financial institution where the final crediting is to be carried out..

While I was on the process, my boss got arrested for his involvement in politics by financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky), which posed as a threat to President Vladimir Putin's second Tenure as Russian president. Since then, I have placed on hold all transactions concerning this amount. You can catch more of the story on this website:

http://www.yukos.com

http://news.ft.com/cms/4bb9612a-d254-11d8-b661-00000e2511c8.html

http://www.hoovers.com/yukos/--ID__53700--/free-co-factsheet.xhtml

http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html

YOUR ROLE:

All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above mentioned sum and I will re-profile the funds with your data, which will enable the finance company transfer the sum to you.

I have decided to use this sum to relocate to your country as soon as the funds are transfered to you and never to be connected to any of Mikhail Khodorkovsky conglomerates. Presently I am in London in Europe,for a hide out.

The transaction has to be concluded as soon and as I confirm your readiness to proceed with me, I will provide you with details.

If you are interested,can contact on my private email: nikolay_sintsov1@voila.fr

Thank you very much.

Regards,

Nikolay Sintsov.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
To: nikolay_sintsov2@live.fr
Subject: RE: ARE YOU WITH ME?
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:58:30 -0500

Nickolay,

I am extremely interested in your proposal. I love the idea of infinite wealth. I’ve been burned before by people who assured me that they were legitimate and trustworthy. I want to trust you. As you can imagine, I need verification.

I’ve thought long and hard about this. I need to know you’re a real person, with a real name. I also need to know you’re legitimate. Lastly, I need to have confirmation that you pay close attention to detail. Therefore, I need the following in order to proceed.

I need one photograph of you containing the following (please see the attached diagram):

1) Shirt off

2) The letter “L” scribed on your forehead in a large font using whipped cream or shaving cream. L stands for “Legitimate”.

3) The same whipped cream or shaving cream on your nipples.

4) Holding today’s newspaper to your left. This will verify time and place.

This may seem silly and unnecessary you, but this is very important to continue. Consider this the only path to our partnership.
Sincerely,
Pat Vanhattan
--------------------------------------------------------
From: nikolay_sintsov2010@live.fr
Subject: Details about this transaction/my drivers licence attached.
Date: Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:07:05 +0000

Good-day Pat,

Thank you for your email in response to my proposal to you for the Fund transfer of USD$40.5 million USD to you on my behalf. I quite understand and appreciate the content of your email. But I want you to understand that I have made an Honest proposal to you.Before we proceed I would like to make my position Known to you in regards to the legitimacy of this Transaction.

You have my personal guarantee and Assurance that this transaction is 100% legitimate and Risk free and it would be handled under the confines Of the law. I shall also require your personal Guarantee that you are someone that I can trust and Confide in because I will reciprocate same to you.

I would like us to establish a high degree of respect, Trust and confidence in ourselves because it is the Hallmark of any successful transaction. This in terms Of human and financial effort that are required to Achieve its success. You should also know that a transaction Of this nature and magnitude requires a high degree of confidentiality. 40% of the entire fund will be yours for your kind assistance.

Meanwhile, i would want you to send to me your information;(real name, fax number,phone number, age, your work,nationality), to enable me call you and have this transaction further discussed with you as well as send to you further details.

I attached in this mail,my Drivers Licence so that you will know whom you are dealing with.

I am presently in London.You can reached me on phone at +44-7045704792.

I await your urgent reply to enable me detail you Further on how to proceed.

Best Regards,

Nikolay Sintsov.

N/B: FILL THIS FORM BELOW:

YOUR NAME:*********************
HOME ADDRESS: *****************
TELEPHONE AND FAX:************
YOUR AGE:*******************
YOUR COUNTRY*****************
PROFESSION*******************
OFFICE ADDRESS ********
------------------------------------------------------------------
To: nikolay_sintsov2010@live.fr
Subject: RE: Details about this transaction/my drivers licence attached.
Date: Sun, 14 Feb 2010 10:42:48 -0500

Nikolay,

I see the license. Thank you.

Hypothetically, what if someone named Roger stole Nikolay's wallet and driver's license. What if Roger then decided to start scamming people, using Nikolay's identity?

What if you're Roger?

That's why I'm asking for the specific photo that I described.
  •  It verifies you (now that I know what you look like).
  •  It verifies the time.
  • It verifies that we're on the same page.

 Thank you.

Pat Vanhattan
-------------------------------------------
From: nikolay_sintsov2010@live.fr
Subject: RE: Details about this transaction/my drivers licence attached.
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:52:22 +0000

Dear Pat,

See i have my proof on this businness. and again am not a scam as you said.

I am not inpossing this business on you. is a free will, so if you are willing to this business i will give you more proof about this. you have my private no which you can call me any time and we can conclude in this business.

So if you are really intrested in this business proposal kindly let me know or i will look for someone else.

Like i told you am presently in London.You can reached me on phone at +44-7045704792.

Regards

Nikolay
--------------------------------------------------
To: nikolay_sintsov2010@live.fr
Subject: RE: Details about this transaction/my drivers licence attached.
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:41:22 -0500

Nikolay,

Photo: L on forehead, shaving cream on nipples, today's newspaper. Your choice in this business is freewill as well.

Pat Vanhattan
---------------------------------------------------
To: nikolay_sintsov2010@live.fr
Subject: RE: Details about this transaction/my drivers licence attached.
Date: Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:48:07 -0500

Nikolay,

It's been a few days. What's going on? The picture doesn't need to be perfect. Don't worry about your f-stop setting.

Or have you already given up? Was I about to begin a business partnership with a quitter?

Quit being such a girl. Send the damn picture and let's get on with this.

Pat Vanhattan
----------------------------------------------------------
To: nikolay_sintsov2010@live.fr
Subject: RE: Details about this transaction/my drivers licence attached.
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:50:21 -0500

Hey Quitter

So what? The going gets a little tough, and you turn into a shy little girl?

It's pretty easy to snap a photo. I attached my rendition of what your photo might look like.

If you've given up on this great opportunity because of a little screening on my part, maybe you should go dress shopping and buy a girl's bike (the one with the curved down bar instead of the straight bar).

Either send the photo or admit you're a Cindy Brady.

Pat Vanhattan


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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Post # 80 - Philips Digital Frame Rip-Off - 12/30/2009

Dear Philips,

My Nana is 98 years old. She has seen the Great Depression, both World Wars, the hippie movement, and the forgettable Cosby movie, Leonard Part VI. In short, she has had enough stress to last three lifetimes.

On our holiday visit to her nursing home, I thought it might be nice to give her a nice gift. We have a $50 cap in our family, because Nana always reciprocates, and she has a fixed income. At $49.99, your Philips 8 inch LCD Digital PhotoFrame (Model 8FF2FPB) was perfect. What better way to allow Nana to see her four children and their spouses, plus 16 grand children and 132 great grand children, when we could not be there in person.

The plan was, “let’s wrap it up, and bring my laptop to upload the photos into the frame”. Nana opened the package, and after we explained it to her, she was delighted. She was tickled pink, red, green, and any color you can name.

I opened the box to get the upload process going. No USB cable included. Worse, no means of storing the pictures on the frame—no memory card included. Are you frigging kidding me? I looked at the box—no mention that I needed to purchase these items for an additional $27. I saw you included a power cord. That was very thoughtful.

As I type this, Nana is looking at someone else’s family on her frame—the family that came with the frame. Someone else’s kids are getting my Nana’s affection because Nana didn’t have the cable or the chip, and she refused to let me buy the additional parts. Your lack of concern for your customer put a real damper on the holidays. You’ve really done it this time! Nana read me the riot act. She dressed me down in front of the others. Nobody crosses Nana. She said, maybe THAT family will visit her more, and give her tapioca (she’s on a special diet—that’s a long story).

I’m disgusted with the entire Philips organization. You listened to bean counters who care little about the customer—the very one who puts the food on their table. No where on the box did it say “you need to buy more stuff to make this thing work”. I’d like a written explanation.

Thank You,

Jerry
-----------------------------------
No Reply.  No longer a Philips Phan.

From http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com