I sent this to Jennie -O on 11/28/11.
Dear Jennie-O,
Back in the late 1960's, in my hometown of Topeka, Kansas, there were a rash of hate crimes against turkeys. In an impulsive move to remain competitive, our local university offered a Turkey Coroner degree.
After two years, local police determined that these killings were performed by neighboring chicken farmers who were trying to eliminate the competition. The program was soon cancelled, with only one graduate, me.
Aside from a few isolated cases, I've remained unemployed as a Turkey Coroner for the better part of four decades. I work in a Hallmark Gift Shop. Nonetheless, my instincts are pure, and I jump into action at the slightest sign of foul play.
My senses were triggered yesterday (Thanksgiving) when I noticed something very peculiar. First, it was obvious that the cause of death on our turkey was blunt trauma force. The oddity was, the giblets in our 18 pound bird could not possibly be the original giblets. These giblets are obviously from a 15-17 pound bird.
Something isn't adding up here. Why would the giblets be that drastically different in size ratio? I suspect foul play. I spent the entire Thanksgiving Dinner trying to determine what would cause this. Then, I pictured a heaping pile of bird carcasses and a heaping pile of giblets. and a man in coveralls placing the giblets into the carcasses as they pass by on a conveyor.
I wasn't able to finish. I was sick to my stomach. Tell me I'm off base. Tell me
that each Turkey comes with its original giblets!
Sincerely,
Jerry
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From: cresponse@hormel.com <cresponse@hormel.com>
Subject: Jennie-O Turkey Store Sales, LLC Ref #:2128504
Date: Tuesday, November 29, 2011, 10:24 AM
Jerry,
Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate hearing from you.
YES, the giblets inside your Prime Young Turkey are from another turkey.
Angelita
Consumer Response Specialist
Ref # 2128504
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Dear Angelita,
Thank you for responding. First, I'm a little disappointed that the giblets that I receive are not those of the original turkey. Please allow me to explain.
My grandfather was a hard worker. He worked for 50 years with his hands, to provide for his family. When his time came, the mortician asked if we would like to "mask" the scars on his hands. My uncle spoke up abruptly and said "no." When I asked him why he was against this, he stated that, "those scars are part of what made Grandpa Grandpa."
Are you allowed to elaborate on why the giblets are different? Could you barcode them along with the carcass?
That giblet is part of what made that turkey that turkey. Swapping the giblets with those of another turkey dilutes the experience. "I say, one turkey, one set of giblets!"
Sincerely,
Jerry
PS - Last Thanksgiving, it tasted like the giblets came from the same turkey. Is this possible, say in a one in a 1000 case?
