the herman letters: Post# 267 - Burger King and Their Cannabalistic Mr. Potato Head French Fry Campaign

A while back, Burger King reinvented their fries. They selected a new figurehead to help usher in the new era--Mr. Potato Head. Also, as a side note, around the same time, they attempted to clone the McDonald's Big Mac with their own "Big King." I sent this letter on 12/18/1997:
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Dear Burger Bravos:

As a semi-professional soccer goalie, I often sought sanctuary in your restaurant while traveling to far-away places. The intense competitiveness of soccer prepared me for the rigors of medical school. Thanks to soccer and Burger King, I am now a Heart Surgeon. I’ve seen many a victim of too much of your food. You send ‘em in, I try and fix ‘em up. Now and then, I like to return to the restaurant I call home. Burger King!

I have two reasons for writing.

First, I need an explanation about your pricing on the Whopper vs. Big King. Each combo meal includes the same medium soft drink and large fries. The only difference is the sandwich. At one location, the individual Whopper cost 10 cents more than the individual Big King, but the Whopper Combination costs 10 cents less than the Big King Combination. Why the strange pricing?

Second, I tried the new fries and I must say I think they taste great--much better than McDonald's. However, on my last visit, I could not help but notice your use of Mr. Potato Head as a representative of this improvement. I thought this was clever because everybody loves Mr. Potato Head, and fries are made from potatoes, so it’s cute--as long as Mr. Potato Head never actually eats any fries. However, this does not seem to be the case...

As I sat in my booth dipping my fries in ketchup, I looked up and saw a gruesome display. A life-size Mr. Potato Head display, with a giant fry in one hand either headed toward or pulling away from his mouth! I don’t think I’m off the mark when I say that Potato Head was about to eat that fry. CANNIBALISM!! I grew sick to my stomach.

I failed to mention that while flying over the mountains of Greenland, our plane crashed and we were forced to consume the remains of our (beloved) teammates. I strongly believe that without this cannibalistic act, we would have surely perished to the subzero temperatures of a desolate arctic freeze. Luckily I was rescued, but the secret we all shared began tearing me up inside, to a point where I needed counseling to help me deal with the guilt. To this day I find difficulty discussing those experiences, and find all of the jokes and “after-school movies” disgusting.

Please provide some explanation regarding your current promotion. It would really be terrible if my favorite restaurant condoned the act of cannibalism. If so, I will be unable to continue eating there. Please let me know.

With Feelings Unmanageable as an Ex-Cannibal,

Jerry

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No Reply.

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Follow-up, sent 2/6/1998:

Dear Burger Brothel:

I sent you a letter on December 18, citing your cannibalistic “Mr. Potato Head eating a frie” promotion. You offended me by posting a life-size Mr. Potato Head display, with a giant fry in one hand either headed toward or pulling away from his mouth. As a loyal customer, I requested an explanation. You responded by placing this very image on your paper bags.

I also requested an explanation regarding your pricing on the Whopper vs. Big King. Each combo meal includes the same medium soft drink and large fries. The only difference is the sandwich. At my local Burger King restaurant, an individual Whopper cost 10 cents more than the Big King, but the Whopper Combination costs 10 cents less than the Big King Combination. Why the 20 cent difference

Next, you boast the fact that I’m getting my hamburger the way I want it. I like my burgers blood rare. Is it possible for Burger King to prepare my hamburger the way I want it?

Please respond to my questions..

Offended,

Jerry

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Burger King Response, dated 3/13/1998:

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for contacting Burger King Corporation. As a consumer, your comments and observations are important to us.

I am sorry that you disapprove of our recent promotion featuring Mr. Potato Head. I will forward a copy of your contact to our Marketing Department so that they, too, will know of your dissatisfaction.

Regarding your question about our pricing policies, all Burger King products provide customers excellent value for the money. The many promotions Burger King offers ensures that customers often receive added value for the food that they are buying. However, the prices of some individual products may vary from restaurant to restaurant. As you may already be aware, many Burger King restaurants are franchise owned and operated. As independent business entities, federal regulations prohibit us from dictating pricing.

In the tradition of "HAVE IT YOUR WAY"(R), we offer customers the ability to tailor their meals to suit their condiment and topping choices, for example, removing mayonnaise or adding extra lettuce.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact our office.

Sincerely,

Gloria
Customer Relations

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Response sent to Sharon, sent 3/11/1998:

Dear Ms. Taylor,

I appreciate your response to my letter. However, I am alarmed.

First, I cannot believe the lackadaisical attitude with which Burger King apparently views cannibalism. By allowing this type of advertisement, you are saying “it’s okay to eat Uncle Ed.” Well it isn’t. Not only is the consumption of human flesh by another human immoral, it is also unhealthy. Your apology is nice, but will any changes occur? Does your Marketing Department care what Larry Barnowski says? We shall see.

Next, the fact that you have no control in governing what your “franchises” do is ANARCHY. Society without any form of political authority. A typical symptom of this type of environment, if you read any history book, is…cannibalism.