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Friday, December 30, 2011

Post# 232 - BIC: Your Pen Leaked on My Pants!

True story: a Bic Pen leaked in the pocket of my beige khakis.  The ink seeped through the pocket.  I sent this letter on 1/10/1996:

Dear BIC:

I am a loyal BIC Classic Stic user--I love the contour of the shaft, and the way the ink flows with such consistency. Others criticize me, saying “You need one of them fancy pens--the ones that write upside down in a rocket ship.”  I fire back “I am rarely upside down (except for a few fraternity parties...), and I do not want to go on a rocket ship.  I’ve always hated Tang.”  Whatever the comment, I can always find a way of defending BIC--until yesterday.

We recently hired this arrogant young punk who thinks he is, by all measures, perfect.  Yesterday, he entered my weekly staff meeting and interrupted “BIC means Best in Class.”  I replied “that’s right-what about it?”  He said “if your BIC pens are the best, why is there a big black spot on your shirt?”  I was foiled--dumbfounded.  Come to think of it, these spots have been occurring quite frequently.

Did you not used to put a little felt stopper in the ink shaft?  Would this not solve our little problem?  What about getting rid of that little hole--would that help?  What is it there for anyway?  I’ve always wondered.

Finally, what can you do for me?  I have gone through several pairs of pants, and two shirts.  Would you offer any kind of clothing reimbursement for such a loyal customer (a friend).  I would appreciate any extension of courtesy that you might offer.  Please provide a written response (written with a BIC pen, if you choose) to my questions and concern.  Thank you.

Still Wielding the Classic Stic,
               
Jerry
---------------
BIC's Response, dated 1/25/1996:

Dear Jerry:

We have received your letter regarding the BIC Classic Stic Pens that leaked causing ink damage
to several pairs of pants and two of your shirts.

We care a great deal about the quality of our products and encourage our consumers to bring
any problems they may have to our attention.

Company policy requires the return of any pens  that cause ink damage for examination by our Quality Assurance Department to determine the cause of leakage.

Therefore, we would appreciate the return of these pens to my attention for their examination.  We will also need the return of your pants and shirts and receipts showing purchase price or
some other means of substantiating the value of the damaged items.  We have enclosed a
postage-paid mailing label for this purpose.

We have also enclosed a complimentary selection of writing instruments for your use.  We are
confident they will give you many hours of trouble-free writing performance.

As soon as we receive their completed analysis, we will contact you.  Thank you for your
cooperation and for taking the time to bring this to our attention.


Sincerely,

Laura Ceballos
Consumer Affairs
Enc:     Postage Paid Mailing Label (1) PPML
 --------------------
 


My Response, sent 2/8/1996:

Dear Pen Pals:

Thank you for your prompt response to my letter.  I must say, the assortment of pens (10 in all) has decorated my credenza most elegantly.  Furthermore, the fact that you sent me a shipping label to return my ink stained clothes for full reimbursement is unheard of these days.  I really appreciate it, and have told everyone of your excellent service.

I have enclosed several of the leaky pens.  I think that they leak when placed in my pocket upside down.  The shop gets very warm, and maybe my body heat makes the ink less viscous, increasing its volumetric flow rate (vfr).

I have included a few sample pens related to a separate issue:  One of my coworkers likes to “aggressively” chew his pens (he recently quit smoking).  Often, we gauge what time it is by how much of his pen is left (by noon, it’s half gone).  I wonder if BIC has considered flavored ink.  Also, is pen ink safe to consume?  What actions should we take if his complexion turns a bluish or blackish hue? 

I will enclose some articles of clothing along with the receipts for replacements if it happens again. Unfortunately, I have given my stained clothes to local charities, or have condemned them to use for dirty chores, such as oil changing and beekeeping.   Again, I appreciate your quick, considerate response.

Sincerely,

Jerry
---------------------------
True to their word, BIC cut me a check to cover the cost of my clothes.  I must say, I was mighty impressed by this, and think of it whenever I see a BIC pen.

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Post# 231 - Energizer: Why Did You Get Rid of the Little Power Indicator Thing?

This is part two of a two-part experiment.  Rival companies, the same complaint raised with each.  Will they reply in the same manner?  The issue is, back in the late 1990's, both Duracell and Energizer had a neat little power meter on the side of their batteries to show how much power is left.  The user would place his fingers on dots on either side of the meter, and some portion of the "power meter" would change color. It was a simple gadget, very helpful when encountering a drawerful of batteries.  Then, one day, it disappeared.  My letter to Duracell is here.

I sent this to Energizer 7/10/2010:

Dear Energizer,
As a sales rep for several battery powered, home-use products, can you imagine the embarrassment when my products don’t work, or work with very low power?
Back in the late 90’s, you had a great and useful feature on your batteries.  It was a tiny power indicator.  The consumer could touch two contacts on the battery (AAA, AA, etc.), and a little meter would show l how much power was left.  He or she could then gage whether a battery replacement was needed, based on upcoming use.
Why did you do away with this?  When did it become a bad thing to know how much power is left?  Is it better to leave us with our proverbial pants down, and end up with no power when we clearly need power?  Is the strategy to get suckers like me to replace our 50% or 75% charged batteries before an in-home demonstration, or bachelorette party, to avoid this embarrassment, because we can’t easily tell without a voltmeter from Radio Shack?  If so, that isn’t cool.
Let’s re-focus our attention on the customer on his or her needs, and maybe the bottom line will take care of itself.  If I don’t sell my wares, you certainly lose out on the battery sales that go along with it.
Power to the People!
Jerry
------------------------
Subject: RE: Energizer MAX Batteries
Date: Thursday, July 14, 2011, 1:16 PM

July  14, 2011
Case ID:  3267470

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for visiting Energizer's Web site and for your inquiry.  I am sorry to learn that our batteries did not meet your expectations; however, I am happy to assist you.

To compensate you for your time and inconvenience, I would like to send you a coupon to replace those batteries.  You should receive this in 7-10 business days.

Thank you for contacting Energizer. If you need further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Energizer Consumer Relations
1-800-383-7323
http://www.energizer.com/
-------------------------------
Subject: RE: Energizer MAX Batteries
Date: Thursday, July 14, 2011, 10:10 PM
Dear Energizer Consumer Relations,
Your parents, Mr. and Mrs. Relations were cruel to name you like that.  It's nice to see such an unusual name either helped, or didn't stop you in your career though.
Thank you for responding, and I appreciate your offer for batteries.  I hope from my note, you are able to tell what types of batteries I was complaining about.  You can probably tell from bar codes and credit cards, but the batteries were:
  • AAA Multi pack (It was 16 pack) for the "Saturday Night Special"
  • AA Multi pack (it was 36 pack) for the "Taiwanese Ticklers"
  • C Multi pack (12 pack) for the "Jumping Jelly Rockets"
  • D Multi pack (12 pack) for the "Incredibly Insane Inferno's"
  • 9 Volt (6 Pack) for the Mighty Mega.

Again, I appreciate it. 

 
Separate topic, but does Energizer plan on putting the little power indicator thing back on the sides of the batteries?  Everybody liked it, and it was a good thing.

Sincerely,

 
Jerry
-------------------------

 
The following letter came in the mail, dated July 15th, along with a $5 coupon:

 
Dear Jerry,

 
Thank you for contacting us about the products that failed to provide satisfactory service.

 
We apologize for your inconvenience.  We are enclosing Energizer coupon(s) towards the value of replacement products.

 
Situations like this don't happen very often, but on rare occasions when a problem arises, we are very concerned.  We appreciate your taking time to make us aware of the problem you have encountered.  Customers like you help us maintain a high level of quality for our products.

 
Once again, thank you for bringing this situation to our attention.  We hope that you continue to think of Energizer when you purchase lighting products and batteries.

 
If you ever have any further questions, please contact us at 1-800-383-7323 or visit us on the internet at http://www.energizer.com/ .

 
Sincerely,

 
Energizer Consumer Affairs
-----------------------------------

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Post# 230 - Duracell: Why'd You Do Away With That Little Power Indicator Thing

This is part one of a two-part experiment.  Rival companies, the same complaint raised with each.  Will they reply in the same manner?  The issue is, back in the late 1990's, both Duracell and Energizer had a neat little power meter on the side of their batteries to show how much power is left.  The user would place his or her fingers on dots on either side of the meter, and some portion of the "power meter" would change color. It was a simple gadget, very helpful when encountering a drawerful of batteries.  Then, one day, it disappeared.  My letter to Energizer is HERE.   I sent this to Duracell on 7/10/2010:
------------------------

Dear Duracell,
As a sales rep for several battery powered, home-use products, can you imagine the embarrassment when my products don’t work, or work with very low power?
Back in the late 90’s, you had a great and useful feature on your batteries.  It was a tiny power indicator.  The consumer could touch two contacts on the battery (AAA, AA, etc.), and a little meter would show l how much power was left.  He or she could then gage whether a battery replacement was needed, based on upcoming use.

Why did you do away with this?  When did it become a bad thing to know how much power is left?  Is it better to leave us with our proverbial pants down, and end up with no power when we clearly need power?  Is the strategy to get suckers like me to replace our 50% or 75% charged batteries before an in-home demonstration, or bachelorette party, to avoid this embarrassment, because we can’t easily tell without a voltmeter from Radio Shack?  If so, that isn’t cool.
Let’s re-focus our attention on the customer on his or her needs, and maybe the bottom line will take care of itself.  If I don’t sell my wares, you certainly lose out on the battery sales that go along with it.
Power to the People!
Jerry
---------------------
Subject: Thanks for contacting Duracell. [ ref:00D7JViV.5007HkoqP:ref ]
Date: Wednesday, July 13, 2011, 10:38 AM
Dear Jerry,

Thanks for contacting Duracell.

I’m sorry you’re disappointed not been able to find a Duracell battery tester anymore. Unfortunately, Duracell has discontinued make battery tester and they are no longer available.  Generally, decisions to start or stop making products are based on consumer demand, so feedback like yours is extremely valuable. Please be assured I'm sharing your information with the rest of our team.

Since I don’t have a recommendation for you at this time, you can do a basic internet search to locate a battery tester online as there may still be some retailers who have this product in stock.

Thanks again for taking the time contacting us.

Veron S.
Duracell Team
----------------------
Subject: Re: Thanks for contacting Duracell. [ ref:00D7JViV.5007HkoqP:ref ]
Date: Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Veron,

Thanks for following up.  I appreciate your efforts.  I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing- based on what you're telling me, we can't be.

This was a tiny feature on each battery- a means to tell how much charge was left. 

You're saying consumer demand dictates these things.  That implies, in this case, that people essentially stopped buying Duracell batteries because they did not like having a means to check the remaining life, right there on the side of the battery.  It wasn't intrusive- if they didn't like the feature, they could ignore it.  It didn't take up any space. 

In short, it was a grand tip of the cap to the yankee ingenuity of our forefathers.  I guess Eli Whitney can be glad that some focus group didn't wreck his cotton gin contraption.

Thanks again.

Sincerely,

Jerry
------------------------
Subject: Thanks for contacting Duracell. [ ref:00D7JViV.5007HkoqP:ref ]
Date: Wednesday, July 13, 2011, 4:28 PM

Hi Jerry,

Thanks for responding, however we do have batteries that comes with the Powercheck on them that you can test to see how much power is left in the batteries, these batteries are the Duracell Ultra Advance Powercheck.

Thanks again for writing.

Veron S.
Duracell Team
------------------------
Subject: Re: Thanks for contacting Duracell. [ ref:00D7JViV.5007HkoqP:ref ]
Date: Wednesday, July 13, 2011, 9:17 PM

Hi Veron,
I see that now.  Some quick research shows that for over $1 per AAA battery, I can get a battery that lasts 30% longer, and the PowerCheck feature.  I'm able to get the standard (30% less power) battery for roughly 40 cents per battery.
The powercheck used to be on normal batteries, batteries for the everyman.  Those were the days.
Thanks,

Jerry
-------------------
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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Post# 229 - Late Show With David Letterman: My Attempt to Get On Stupid Pet Tricks

I sent this to Dave's staff on 4/19/1998:

Dear Mr. Letterman,

I am writing to propose what I believe is a marquee feature for your next installation of “Stupid Pet Tricks.”  I present to you “Singing Chester, the Hang Gliding Monkey.”

Chester is a five-year-old which I rescued from a burning building, while working as a volunteer fireman.  My intention was to return this lost primate to its rightful owner, but grateful victim offered Chester as a gift for my squad saving his condo.  Besides, Chester would not hear of leaving my arms.

Over the past three years, Chester and I have spent our leisure time in the great outdoors.  At first, we flew kites.  Then, we juggled.  Finally we hang glided.  Chester is currently the only certified hang gliding monkey in the world.  Furthermore, he has successfully landed his craft from the top of a nearby 26-story bank office building (the tallest in our area), and flown on three continents (North and South America, and Europe). 

Furthermore, as he hang glides, he “sings” the Welche Labung Fur Die Sinne oratorio of Haydn’s opera Die Jahreszeiten.  He messes up the second half, and at times, sings off-key when sudden wind gusts jar his craft, but in general, it is a remarkable rendition.  By the time he reaches your show, I can guarantee we will have the vocal irregularities resolved.

Above: Chester taking flight in the Himalayan Mountains (I was so proud!).
I envision a prosperous movie career in Chester’s future.  Warner has discussed a possible Any Which Way But Loose/You Can sequel, perhaps co-starring with Mr. Eastwood.  In the meantime, I am interested in booking Chester on your show.  Please let me know my prospects of showing my best friend off and amazing everyone.  If you want, you can hook a small camera on him so the audience can see what hang gliding is really like.  We can send him off the top of the Ed Sullivan Theater, or a taller building (of your choice).  The ball is in your court.

I’ll see you soon!

Instructing Chester not to Fly too Close to the Sun,


Jerry
------------------------------------
No Reply



Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Post# 228 - Hasbro Hungry Hungry Hippos and The Undersized Box

After buying this and putting it together for my kids, I realized that it doesn't go back in the box.  With tiny plastic marbles, why would anyone want that convenience?  I sent this on 12/26/2006:


To Whom It May Concern:

After Santa delivered us Hungry Hungry Hippos, I assembled it according to your instructions.

My daughter, Jill, son, Joe, wife, Holly, and I played all night. What fun!

At the game's conclusion, I went to put it back in the box you provided, and to my surpise and disappointment, the box was too small, or the game was too big to store. See photo.

Did I assemble incorrectly? What do you suggest that I do for storage?

Is this a ploy to get the little marbles to roll under the shelf in the game closet so I have to buy more? Was it a dollars and cents decision made by big-wig executives who are "out of touch" with the gameplaying populus that likes to place their games back in their original boxes without intensive disassembly to ensure dust-free play, neat storage, and no loss of or damage to pieces? The exhaustion that you feel after reading that run-on only touches the level of exhaustion that I feel after having tried to squeeze that game into that box.

I would suggest, as a courtesy to future customers, a disclaimer, maybe a coupon for raw materials at Lowes or Home Quarters to construct an ample storage unit.

I would appreciate an explanation, as I feel like I'm on the receiving end of the Milton Bradley Shaftola. Future generations may refer to it as "He got Milton Bradley-ed"

Lastly, is it true that the original game was played with real hippos? I read that somewhere.

Curious and a Little Disappointed,

Jerry
------------------------
From: Veronica at Hasbro, sent 12/27/2006:

Hi Jerry,

Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate your taking the time to share your opinion and feedback with us regarding our packaging.

Consumer satisfaction is very important to us. We will share your comments with our management team so that they are also aware of your views.

Since our ultimate goal is to bring happiness to the consumers who use our products, and certainly not disappointment, under separate cover we will be sending you some coupons for you to use when you purchase your next Hasbro products.

Also, the game Hungry Hungry Hippos was never played with real hippos.

We want to assure you that we are dedicated to maintaining quality products and service. We hope you and your family will enjoy our products for many years to come.
------------------------------------
My note to Veronica, sent 1/31/2007

Hello,

In your previou correspondence, you mentioned some coupons. We never received anything.

The thing that reminded me about this was, as we were packing for a family trip to Florida, we were deciding what games to take, and we had to leave Hungry Hungry Hippos home because it, sadly, does not fit in the box.

Sincerely,

Jerry
----------------------------------
Veronica's note, sent 2/1/2007

Hi Jerry,

Thank you for your email. I apologize you never received the coupons.

Please be assured I have ordered some more coupons for you. They are being sent to:

Jerry

-----------------------------
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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Post# 226 - Rally's Hamburgers: Let's Introduce the OtterBurger

Below is a note from Herman Letters Staffer Larry Barnowski, sent on January 28, 1998 to Mr. James Gillespie, CEO of Rally's Hamburgers, Inc.  It was sent with a small sample of some mystery meat.
----------------------- 
Dear Mr. Gillespie,

I don’t get along with people.  They anger me with their fancy-shmantzy cars, electricity, and indoor plumbing.  I feel more comfortable on my own, in the wild, where things are simpler.  The only time I expose myself to civilization is on my monthly trip into town for supplies (matches, blankets, ammunition, lamp oil).  People laugh and point, but put them in my element and they’d starve to death.  I dread these trips, which are made easier by only one thing...a hearty meal at the local Rally’s.    

Your food items border on ecstasy.  The Big Buford drips into my beard and I smell  of ketchup for weeks!  And your helpers that take my order and give me my food are wonderful.  Don’t get me wrong-- I’m likely to turn around and punch somebody in the chops because I don’t like people talking to me unless the dialog is somehow related to retrieving my supplies or delivering my food.  

To afford my supplies, I made several investments, one of which is your stock.  As a shareholder, I feel it is my duty to offer suggestions to catapult Rally’s into the 21st Century.  Thus, I will make this exception and speak my mind. 

I noted as I was eating my last Buford, that you use 100% Beef.  Why Beef?  As an expert on animal flesh, I contend that the flesh off a dead Otter carcass is the best, followed by deceased Wildebeast flesh in a distant second place.  Once you’ve eaten Otter, cow is bush league.  One ain’t lived ‘til they slug back a mason jar of moonshine with a big greasy Otter Burger.  Our forefathers survived on Otter when they settled this land. 

I trap Otters for their abundant meat.  The fur’s warm too!  I’m enclosing a sampling of Otter meat from a fresh kill.  Eat it at your own risk, as I don’t have no fancy shmantzy refrigerator.  Use it up quick because the couple days in the mail might make it slightly less-than-fresh.  Let me know how you feel about the prospect of the first ever mass-produced fast food OtterBurger.

If you like it good enough we can discuss buying me a bunch of traps and ice coolers and I can sell you some Otter meat.  If not at least you tried it.   I have some recipes if you’re interested.  Thanks for making my trips into town more bearable.  I’ll expect to hear back from you.

Welcoming Back Otter (The Other Red Meat),

 
Larry Barnowski
-----------------------
 No Reply
----------------------
March 23, 1998
Mr. James Gillespie, CEO
Rally's Hamburgers, Inc.
10002 Shelbyville Rd., Ste. 150
Louisville, KY 40223

Dear Mr. Gillespie,

If I owned a company and someone went to a great deal of effort to offer a suggestion that might help me, I would certainly express some appreciation, even if I didn't care for the idea.  Loyal customers who care about the future of their favorite restaurants should be encouraged--not ignored like a rack of spare ribs at the Vatican on Good Friday.

I never received any reply to my January 28 letter and sample Otter meat.  I moved out into the woods because I don't get along very well with people.  I return to civilization every two months for supplies (lamp oil, fresh traps, quilts, canned goods, flint, etc.).  When I checked my Post Office Box there was no letter of acknowledgment. 

I went to a great deal of trouble to wrassle that Otter to the ground for you.  I killed it, ground the flesh, cooked it up, and sent a ground Otter patty for your sampling.  I said "hurry up and eat it before it goes bad."  I asked for some sort of response.

I would appreciate some form of response.  Show me that someone at Rally's appreciates their customers.  Otherwise, I won't be back.  I'll go across town to that local Arby's.

I Went to a Lot of  Bother Sending You That Otter,
Larry Barnowski
----------------
Reply from Kenneth Weiss, Corporate Counsel, dated 4/13/1998:

Dear Larry,

Our Chief Executive Officer has forwarded your letter to me for a response.  Please accept our apologies for the delay in responding to you about your meat shipment.  We appreciate your interest in our products and thank you for the shipment.  However, Rally's Hamburgers, Inc., is committed to marketing a product line that does not contain wild game meat and we are therefore not in the market for purchasing otter meat from you.  I believe there are several restaurants that carry various types of wild game and perhaps they would be a more appropriate target market for your product.

Again, thank you for your interest.

Sincerely,

Kenneth L. Weiss
Corporate Counsel
----------------
My note to Kenneth Weiss, sent 4/16/1998:

Dear Mr. Weiss,

Thank you for responding to my letter.  However, your response makes me feel still more angst toward society.  I found it odd that no one commented on the Otter meat that I sent.  I certainly hope I didn’t wrassle that beast to the ground and take it’s life with my bare fists, skin it, grind it’s flesh, cook it, package it, and mail it for nothing!  I’ll have you know that in the process, that thing bit me, and it became infected.  Luckily, I poured some moonshine on the wound, and it appears to be clearing up.  Although I am still foaming.  

You state in your letter that “Rally’s Hamburgers, Inc. is committed to marketing a product line that does not contain wild game meat and we are therefore not in the market for purchasing otter meat from you.”  I think the key words there are “from you.”  A commitment is something you pledge.  I’d like to see your “pledge” to not use wild game—I’d bet my cabin that it doesn’t exist.  I invite—nay—dare you to prove me wrong on that one.    

Suspicious about your true intentions, I asked the young cashier lad working at your local Rally’s, if he had heard anything about an Otter Burger coming soon.  He said in a coy way “anything is possible.”  I interpreted that as “yes, but I’m not allowed to talk about it.”  In any case, “anything is possible” seems to contradict your “commitment” to deprive the people of the wild game that they unknowingly crave.  I suspect you’re about to steal my idea and raise your own Otters because that meat tasted so good.  Well the true secret lies in the Otter feed, and you don’t have it.

I will be monitoring my local Rally’s to verify the fact that my “Otter Burger” idea is not used.  If you had been honest about it and said “we plan on marketing an Otter Burger, but we can farm our own Otters,” I would have given my blessing.  But I will take legal action, with your letter and the testimony of “Trevor the Cashier” as my body of evidence.  I have already sought legal counsel from my practitioner of law, and he has issued the following paperwork, which I would advise you to sign and return.  If Rally’s Hamburger, Inc. intends to uphold its “commitment” not venture into “a product line that contains wild game meat,” like you said, this will be a simple task.  However, if you cannot sign the form, we will proceed with legal action.  Thank you for your time.

Father of the Otter Burger,

Larry Barnowski
---------------
-----------------------------
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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Post# 225 - Olga's: Stop Making Peasant Soup!! Peasants Are People Too! - 9/5/2011

Dear Olga's,


I've seen it all in my 93 years.  The Great War, the Depression, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, Desert Storm, these new wars that I can't even name.  Throw in the Jackson's Victory Tour, and that's a lifetime.  Then, I learn that Olga's serves Peasant Soup.


Listen, I've made all kinds of soups--chicken soup, turkey soup, ham soup, pea soup, vegetable soup, tomato soup, lentil soup, broccoli cheddar soup, tortilla soup, venison soup, bean soup, and even shellfish soup.  I have never, however, served Peasant Soup.  Isn't that cannibalism?


I find this very offensive!!!


What Olga is basically saying is, Peasants aren't people like the rest of us.  Because they have less money than us, we can literally eat them.  I find this morally unacceptable.  I can't fathom ordering this, and yet when I was at Olga's last Wednesday, I saw a mother and her two sons ordering Peasant Soup. They ordered it very calmly, and without care or consideration of peasants everywhere!  It felt like they were ordering chili or minestrone, or any other normal soup.


Look--I love your menu.  Snackers, spinach pie, your three cheese olga--all are outstanding.  I just have an issue with the peasant soup because I don't think it's right.  I don't know how you've justified this with local law enforcement. I don't know how you've justified this with your creator.  I really don't know how you've justified it in your minds, but I think you should knock it off.


Sincerely,


Jerry
-------------------------------
My follow-up, sent 9/14/2011:

Dear Olga's,


Over a week ago, I brought a travesty to your attention.  I consider this one of the most disgusting and inhumane acts that I can think of.  I don't know how it's legal.  I don't know how it passes health code.  I don't know how you sleep at night.


Peasant soup.  This tradition must be stopped.  Peasants are people too!  I can't believe that no one has spoken up within the Olga'a rank and file.  It's like one big cult that accepts something terrible without question, and from external appearances, without care.


My Grandson, for his Eagle Scout Project, helped build shelters downtown for the poor, or as you would call them, peasants.  I told him to warn those folks about the Olga Round-Up truck.  How do you lure them?  Snackers?


I can't bear to see this inhumane act anymore.  I may write to my congressman!


Please consider stopping.  Chicken tastes like a lot of things--why not put chicken in the soup?  Instead of peasants.


Sincerely,


Jerry
--------------------
Subject: Olga's Kitchen feedback
Date: Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Jerry,


Thank you for recently contacting Olga’s Kitchen.

I would like to correct your misconception regarding our signature Peasant soup.  The name is indicative of the the style of the soup, as in rustic or provincial, featuring simple but  compelling flavors and ingredients.

We do not nor have we ever used peasants in the soup.

I’m happy to have cleared up your misconception.

Regards,

Quinn 
Executive Chef
Manager Menu Development
----------------------
Subject: Re: Olga's Kitchen feedback
Date: Wednesday, September 14, 2011, 2:32 PM

Dear Quinn,

Nevermind.

Thank you,

Jerry
----------------------
----------------------------
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Post# 224 - Save-A-Deer: My Deer-Repelling Car Whistle Seems To Be Not Working - 6/24/2011

Dear Save-A-Deer,
As someone who frequently drives up and down the windy roads of deer-inhabited wilderness, I have had some close calls with deer.  You see, I deliver transplant organs, serving as the “last leg in the relay”, from the airport to the hospital.   I dodge deer, probably once a week.
I had seen advertisements for your product, a whistle that would attach to the front of my car, deterring deer from running in front of it.  About a month ago, I installed your Save-A-Deer whistle in the front grill of my Subaru, according to the directions.  It’s hard to tell if it’s working.  I haven’t had any close calls, but the deer seem to gather on the roadside and watch me drive by, more-so than in the past. 
Often, after a delivery, I’ll unwind by heading into the state park for a nice picnic.  I make great potato salad, so I’ll often simply enjoy that, along with some sparkling water and a good book.  Twice within the past three weeks (since I installed the Save-A-Deer Whistle), I’ve encountered male deer “making nice” with my car.  The first time, it was one buck.  This last time, I encountered four of them really going at it with my tiny blue Subaru.  I didn’t know what else to do, so I let them “finish.”
I don’t mean to complain, but the whistle seems to be having an “opposite” effect.   Male deer seem attracted to my car—not in the “I’m gonna dart out in front of it” manner, but more in the “check out that pretty doe” manner.
Am I doing something wrong?  The instructions state that the whistle is effective at 35mph or faster.  The two incidents that I mentioned occurred with the vehicle stationary.  These deer may have been some of the spectators on the road when I was driving at speeds exceeding 35 mph.
I am just a little confused.  I doublechecked--the whistle is mounted according to directions,  small holes in front, and large holes in back.  Any information that you can provide is greatly appreciated.   I’d better go.  As I’m typing this, I’m looking out the window, at my Subaru, parked in the street.  The bucks are at it again.  My poor Subaru.
Sincerely,
Jerry
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Subject: RE: Question
Date: Sunday, June 26, 2011, 10:21 AM


Dear Jerry,

Thank you for contacting Living Products LLC in regards to the Save-A-Deer whistle. We are glad you have not had any accidents.

In your description of the installation, it sounds like you may have it backwards. The large holes should be facing the roadway for maximum air flow. The smaller holes should be facing the engine compartment of your vehicle. The air should travel through the larger holes and exit out the smaller holes. It is this reduction in air flow that creates the sound desired.
If you have mounted the whistle incorrectly, we will send you a replacement. Please let us know if you need another whistle.

If you have mounted the whistle incorrectly, we will send you a replacement. Please let us know if you need another whistle.

As to why the deer like your Subaru so much, we have no idea. It could be an odor from the car or the color of the vehicle. It is mating season for the bucks and they can do some very strange things at these times.

Thanks,

Mike
Living Products, LLC
www.deerwhistle.com
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Subject: Fw: RE: Question
Date: Sunday, June 26, 2011, 4:45 PM


Dear Mark,
You were right.  I goofed--it was on backward.  I removed it and installed a new one correctly.  It's a night and day difference.  The deer definitely freeze when they see me coming.
Best of all, they aren't rubbing themselves on my Subaru.

Thanks for your help.  What a great product!
Jerry
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Note to readers:


You can order these HERE.  I recommend them.  Look at the customer service!


----------------------------
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Friday, November 11, 2011

Post# 223 - My Ongoing Dialogue with the Detroit Tigers Part 2 of 2

This is Part II of my ongoing dialogue with the Detroit Tigers.  Part I is .HERE
------------------------------

Sent: 05/31/2011 02:15 PM AST
Subject: RE: Next weekend

Hey Ron,


It's been a little while.


From what I heard, the Opening Day Sparky tribute was very nice.  I wasn't sure if that was your "baby".


I hope all is well with you.


Thanks,


Jerry
(XXX) XXX- XXXX
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Subject: Re: Next weekend
Date: Tue, 31 May 2011 14:20:48 -0400


Hi Jerry:

Good to hear from you. Sparky tribute was nice. Working on plans for June 26.

Talk by phone tonight? Wednesday?

Good time for me is between 6-6:30pm.

Best,
Ron
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Subject: RE: Next weekend
Date: Tue, 31 May 2011 14:39:20 -0400


Sure Ron- either of those will work.


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Subject: RE: Next weekend
Date: Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:16:53 -0400
Hey Ron,

I took my son to the game on Saturday night, while my wife and daughter enjoyed the Taylor Swift concert next door.    I thought I'd give you my review of the experience.

First, the ticket office—I bought tickets in 338.  The gentleman behind the glass was very helpful.  He gave my son (7) a schedule and told him “Verlander’s on the front.  He’s pretty good.”  It was a small touch, but my son took that schedule home and put it on his dresser.  Very classy.



The game was great.  I like the way they honor the military.  The fireworks were exceptional.  I’ve seen dozens of post-Tiger game fireworks, and it seemed (maybe I’m wrong) like they improved them.  All-in-all, a great experience.    

Circling back to the food: As far back as the early 1980’s, when my dad would take my brothers and me, my expectations for the ballpark food have always been pretty low.  I could pay $9 for cheese-sauce covered nachos, or go to Xochi’s after the game and get real nachos.  But when you go to other ballparks, the food has more character and local representation.  It’s not so generic.

Over the years, I’ve generally stuck to the hot dogs, and I feel they’ve gone downhill.  Back in the 80’s, they were all steamed.  Now, if you go one of the stands, they’re shriveled.  The Hebrew Nationals are an improvement, but I find them a little salty.  From what I saw in the food court, there was a Mexican counter, a hot dog counter, the Chinese food (which I tried once and thought was just so-so), the Sidekicks place with the chicken basket, Edy’s, and Little Caesars.  Didn’t there used to be a cheese steak place and a sandwich place?  It’s been a while.

Here are my suggestions.  I realize things are probably the way they are for a reason, and some of my ideas may have already been explored and not pursued for a reason.

First, I wouldn’t change anything about the remote food stands (like the one by 338).  The food there is what I would expect, and my personal penance for buying cheap seats.

Next, when I go to other cities, I love taking in the local foods.  I think it’s nice to have an ensemble of local foods at the ballpark for out-of-towners.  It’s also a great way to support those businesses and create awareness.  The Mud Hens have Ballreich potato chips.  Fenway has Clam Chowder.

I know we have Leo’s and Little Caesars, and I understand why.  I just think it would be cool to replace all of the generic food court restaurants with local businesses.  A “Slow’s To Go”, may one of the restaurants in Mexicantown could put together a street taco/tamale  stand, maybe one of the owners of one of the restaurants on the Dearborn/Detroit Border could do a Shwarma stand.   How about something incorporating zip sauce!

I’d love to see the sports bar that replaced the barbecue place be something like Redcoat Tavern or Snookers (minus the pool tables)—somewhere that I could get a great bar burger.  It would be cool to see Kowalski or Dearborn Sausage instead of Ballpark throughout the park.   I saw one of the carts had local beer.  I like that.  I wish it were more readily available around the stadium though.  What about the Faygo Porch?  Pepsi might not like that.  I’ll stop now.


To sum up, great overall experience for my son and I.  For someone less focused on the game, the food is probably a bigger deal.   It would be cool if Comerica Park had something “signature” that people in other cities would come home and rave about--bakery buns on the hot dogs or something.  I just figured that if I’m spending my food money elsewhere, other “foodie” people like me are doing the same.


Thanks,
Jerry
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Sent: 06/27/2011 09:48 PM AST
Subject: RE: Next weekend
Ron,


11 years ago, I went to Sparky Anderson Day to honor the man. It felt a little hollow because they didn't retire his number, and they should have.


Based on the fact that 5 months later, we haven't talked, I would assume that we're not going to talk.  I don't expect you to explain why the #11 retirement had to happen in 2011 instead of 1996 or 2000, because I understand the politics. Many, if not most fans feel like I do about this, and if I'm tired of hearing about it, I can only imagine how tired you are.


I took my family to the game on Sunday.  It was a last minute decision.  I went, not because I felt fine with all that has happened over the years.  I went because I wanted to honor Sparky.  I wanted my kids to see how revered a man he was.  His words, "It don't cost nothin' to be nice to people" are words to live by.  He made me think more about other people.  He bridged 3 generations--my Grandparents admired him.  It felt right being there--sort of like his wake. 


Under the circumstances, it was a beautiful ceremony.  Great participation from past players and personalities, and Sparky's kids and grandkids.  A nice video tribute, and the portrait is very nice.  For all of the things that you were able to do in this situation, you hit the ball out of the park.   It needed to happen, and it did, and it was as nice as it could have possibly been.  Nice job.


Thanks,


Jerry
-----------------------
Subject: Re: Next weekend
Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:32:38 -0400


Jerry:

Appreciate the feedback. Pleased to hear you attended. It was a special moment in Tigers history regardless of past circumstances. A lot of planning and hard work went into the ceremony and we believe, by the fans reaction, they appreciated the presentation.

I think you'll agree, we have actually generated a dialogue, despite not connecting by phone, which we will at some point soon.

As always, your support of the Tigers is most appreciated and your thoughts and comments welcome.

Let's put tonight's game behind us and get'em tomorrow.

Best,

Ron--------------------------
Subject: RE: Next weekend
Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:54:57 -0400


Agree Ron--it really was nice. I could tell a lot of thought and effort went into it--inviting everyone, gifts, montage, speakers, etc. 


It made me want to go back and watch old footage.  It made me miss the old park, the organ, the hot dog smell, etc. 


My son is seven and starting to follow baseball more now.  I have that DVD set with the old games.  I'll probably show him some of those. I wish there was a George and Al channel.


Thanks,

Jerry