the herman letters: Post# 243 - Rainforest Cafe - The Cougar Hangout?

Dear Rainforest Café,

As a seventh grader, I still love to learn about nature and wild animals. I also love your restaurant. Where else can a kid go and eat a hearty sandwich in a rainforest setting? Besides a rainforest, I guess. I've never been to a rainforest, but I'd like to go someday. On my most recent visit, I enjoyed a Reuben Sandwich, stacked high with corned beef, as I sat among the gorillas. I try to sit by a different animal each time, and I go home and try to learn as much as I can about that animal. Thanks to Rainforest Cafe, I was inspired to do my science project on Gorillas, and I took first prize. Cha Ching!

My older brother's college friend, Lester, told me he also likes to eat at the Rainforest Café. This is where it gets confusing. He goes on Saturday afternoons, when he says there are lots of kids' birthday celebrations happening. He told me that during these parties, there are cougars, and he said he like to tame them by feeding them "mow-hee-toes." Once, he told me he was took one of the cougars home for the night. He must have used a lot of "mow-hee-toes." He calls your restaurant "The Cougar Den." What's that about?

This got me excited. The following Saturday, after soccer, we asked my friend's mom to take us to the Rainforest Cafe for lunch. There were birthday parties aplenty--noisy kids with cakes and gift bags, and exhausted looking parents. I didn't see any cougars, not even robot ones. I didn't see any live animals. I was disappointed.

Then I started thinking. Why would the Rainforest Café go to all the trouble to have live cougars on site like that? It seems like they might smell badly and try to attack customers. I could see birds, maybe. Although there might be a problem with the droppings. I think you should stick with the robot gorillas and elephants and tropical birds. Besides--couldn't he sue you if he got bit, or some kind of infection from the cougar?

I questioned Lester again, and he said he was there again this past Saturday, and he took two cougars home. They must be kitten cougars. Or, he's pulling my leg. Before I start begging my parents into taking me again on Saturday, can you confirm whether you have cougars at any of your locations? Are they real or fake (robots)? Do you ever have other real animals (besides the fish)? What about a wild game night once in a while? My dad likes going to those things. He ate otter.

Otherwise, I love your restaurant.

Sincerely,

Jerry

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I sent this on 9/22/2011:

Dear Rainforest Cafe,

If I was on a guided tour through a real rainforest, the first thing that the tour guide would want to establish is trust. An unfamiliar place with unfamiliar creatures and berries. A different climate with unusual fungi and weather patterns. That's right--somebody is doing a science report on rainforests.

Last week, I asked some questions about your "rainforest." You didn't answer them, and I feel like we don't have decent grounds for trust. Let me say it simply: I don't trust you. I asked you a simple question about whether or not you have cougars in any of your location, and you couldn't answer me? Seriously?

How can I feel comfortable now in your restaurant, surrounded by what I previously "trusted" to be robotic gorillas and tropical birds? What if one of those so-called fake primates reaches down with one hand and snags my reuben, and with the other, slashes my jugular? You say they're fake, but now I can't trust you.

I really just need to know if you have realistically fake cougars on your premises. It would be cool to see these up close, and maybe get my photo snapped with one.

Thanks,